The one for me
by maddpappy
Summary: This story is about Damon -after Elena, and after she changed. She does appear in later chapters with Stefan. Its the story of what takes place with Damon, enslaved by Klaus and fifty years forward. Damon is drawn to an alluring female who plays a centric role in his future. Tatia is explained, other tvd characters will arise too. The world is now a darker place, vampires are known
1. Prologue 1

A/N:

Prob typos but spell check isn't working. Again, sorry. When I move it it still does the same thing. Time line... 50 yrs ago Damon was enslaved. When he is 30 years enslaved (this chapter) a child is born. Most of the story is starting from now to 20yrs after that birth (present). Its a life time. In the present he was enslaved a total of 50 years. I suck at math if you can't tell.

This flashback is where he has been enslaved for 30 years, and most of the other flash backs will be 20 years leading up to the present where he and Lily are in chapter 1. I'll mark them accordingly. This will be the only 30 year lashback. Why?

This is the back story broken up into two parts. Where the world is, what has become, and right where the story 'starts'. I decided to toss this in so you can understand where I am going with the futeristic stuff. The story is based off an ancient line (Tatia) and how that line has a calling to protect. Elena (doppleganger) was a replica of Tatia. I explain this and the importance of it.

Damon (It, Shadow, Laviathan) is captured and under the control of Klaus. It describes what happened to them once Elena turned, with the why and how. Will have flash backs until the fb catch up with the future. This is to show Damon evolving and may be the sexier part of their relationship. Lily is deeply important to Damon's survival. Also in the book, Damon feels that twin flame thing for Elena...and I am using that essence with Elena/Lily to explain why he was drawn to Elena. Elena stayed with Stefan because Damon was taken and it never went anywhere. Eventually I'll tackle that.

**Prologue Pt 1**

**20 Years before Ch.1**

**History**

_The sky was lit with a blood red haze as the fog refused to disperse into the cold swallows of hell. The earth cried, shook, and then settled as the battle on her grounds waned. The tears of blooded souls seeped into her grounds, and nothing would ever be the same after tonight. It appeared that this was the end of the road, like so many times before. People clutched their chests, heaved with pain, and breath was but a wheeze among countless. Destroyed buildings and cluttered masses of brick lay about the torn city as a reminder of what had taken place here tonight. It had gone beyond Mystic Falls..._

_WAR. _

_War between the Light and Dark, which had raged on forever, had faltered for now. Tonight, the child would been born; the child fate had cried and waited so long for. Even the world itself seemed to pause with relief as the balance came back to life. Many of the greatest witches sensed a change on the wind, but nothing they could hope to place._

_The blood shed signaled the time; it created life this very night as it once had before, bringing to existence a creature never meant to walk the earth. In times of death came life once more, a second chance perhaps. Silence hung heavily in the air as a new unforetold future took place. It marked the end of an age, and yet the beginning of a new more frightening future. This was a future that no one could see, decipher, or hope to foretell. _

_Klaus, a long time enemy, had taken and enslaved Damon Salvatore to do a bidding worse than Death. It had become hard to live-move even-as the lime light was drawn on them, revealing their secret beyond the bridge of Mystic Falls. War had finally breached the small town and grew like wildfire throughout the human lands. Death was all around them now, waiting. Blood, it flowed so easily, making the grounds weep in sorrow. But what they learned was that they were not the only family of vampires out there. Worse, stronger, and more deadly creatures roamed the lands. _

_But Mystic Falls was a special place, one of many powerful places on earth, seen as a gateway. It rivaled that of the Great Stone Henge in its ancient times. The place was alive, pulsing with power, oozing an electrical current of possibilities. The tree, marking the most sacred of all places, had been disturbed. It's misuse only severed any goodness of hope, and left the land dying. The land marked a special ley line-a place of power. Now it was overrun by dark things and in harsh times. The tree and its ley line were once under the protection of the last living Immortal. _

_Tatia._

_The truest Immortals, as they were in ancient times, protected the land and cursed those that defied it. They were taught that their abilities were a gift, and to spread their power amongst the living. They sought to help, teach, and nurture the growing populace of human being as their ancient numbers declined rapidly. And no one knew why, just that their age was over. The reign of the cursed would begin next._

_ The werewolves were such a people who were cursed to change with unbearable and unmarked pain; to become one with nature during the moon's full phase. In time they had protected the ancients including the last one, Tatia, and sought forgiveness for their sins. With all curses, there was forgiveness which had to be earned. Before Tatia could set them free, however, she caught the eye of two villagers who became the seeds of her deceit._

_Tatia, a name beheld with contempt, the spite of the Gods for her actions, was the last living protector of this land in Mystic Falls. She defied her order for the love of two men with whom she could not choose between. Like all those before her, Tatia had two waring natures within her being. Rather than conquering her inner demons, she gave in to them. _

_She aided a witch in casting a spell that unleashed dark horrors into the night. She bound her essence to yet another spell which would replicate her through out the ages. Darkness over took her heart, and thus was her undoing. Once sacred blood, now had become meaningless. Such was the fate of her offspring as well. For Tatia took men to fill the void her lack of choices made. She could never seem to sate the hole darkness created._

_These horrors began to replicate, including one very specific abomination. Thrust aside by her two most beloved, she became enraged and sought to help in reigning Klaus back to his 'vampire only' state. And this became her own undoing, followed by those that would precede her. She asked that Esther use her as a fail safe in the spell, that she would reappear, that she could taunt Klaus every 500 years with her likeness. _

_In doing so Tatia also hoped to avoid eternal death. Effectively cursing her entire family line, Esther became uneasy, yet agreed, with stipulations. She had become remorseful, her adultery apparent. Her family was torn apart by their savagery, and by the audacity of this creature she'd used to cast her spell, so Esther took action for her misdeeds._

_And so Tatia aided Esther unknowing what awaited her._

_It was not for the people that Tatia gave her blood, but for vanity, anger, and arrogance. Horrors which fed in innocence, whose blood cried as it was shed upon the horror which perpetuated itself onto her doubles through subsequent life lines. Doomed to repeat, and born to die. But it was not her soul that inhabited the body, just an innocent doomed to die with her flesh and her likeness. Each one had the same mental capacity and look as the first, but situation dictated their choices and the eventual person they became. Katerina had been her darker side, Elena all that was good in Tatia. Both had just enough power to be a little more than human, but not more than a double. Just a freak occurrence._

_Until now. Another would come and take her place._

_The wolves would not protect this child as they had her predecessor; none would be aware that she even existed. Tatia was no more. Elena, her last living relative had succumbed to a similar fate and become one of the undead thirty years ago when Rebekah stood in the road causing her accident. No matter what road Elena took, no matter the path traveled, she was doomed to die. Tatia's line of doppelgangers had finally died out, and with it, the rest of her essence on this place. A new wind had calmed the storm this night..._

_Another would arise-finally-that the chain of events was broken._

_The true Immortals were few and far between coming only when the earth called traits lived on through the human descendents. Not one had been born since Tatia, until tonight. No spell could be wielded with greater power once linked with a true Immortals blood. Her eventual doppelgangers only possessed a tiny spec of power that the original had. Just enough resemblance in their watered down blood to fool the earth, or prevent another guardian from taking a stand. And as they lived on, from generation to generation, the world had slowly withered. They'd all repeated the same fate and stalled the successor from taking place at the ley line. _

_The world seemed to beacon the _spirit_. _Come_, the ground seemed to mutter. All the dead cried out, their blood which washed the land, cried too. Wars, souls, all of it was here. Death and life, dark and light, night and day._

_Piece by piece, the ancient genes had come together over thousands of generations. Each part carefully separated and placed within the human populace where non were the wiser. As time had gone on, they'd remained strong and hidden in latent human recessive traits. Even now, the child was only half ready to receive the last integration from outside sources. Destiny arisen, a gem locked in time. It had only been a matter of time. Such would signal the dawn of a new age. It was too early, but the earth seemed to still. It hung with need like a hungry creature. Please come, please come, please come, the earth begged._

_ Fate cried back, but the child is not ready._

_ Thirty years we've begged, the dead cried out again._

_Two souls... half of the missing link... The part that was broken in darkness drew closer to the part that awaited its second piece. A flame that would merge, burn and scathe...and fate smiled, then._

**It**_ had already begun._

_The _spirit_ had come for the lost _soul_. It knew. Thus beginning its work already still unborn. The call began then, swift as the wind, and it blew through the land until it found Cecelia, who fell over with pain. Fate and the earth sang in unison. _Come forth_._

_This was fates wildcard, and it would lie in the hands of a small being; it would be fought in blood, pain, and death. This spirit was old having waited so long, innocent, and would carry the heaviest burden of anyone that had passed the living threshold . Only one man was its witness. That is if you could call 'It' a man at all. For over 30 years this man had been captured, leashed and chained to an abominable fate himself. _

_A shadowy being, once known as Damon. His master, the diabolical hybrid that even nature shunned, was none other than Klaus. Klaus had an intolerable hate for the eldest Salvatore, and saw to it that he would be forever locked in pain. In loss. Klaus worked with as many witches at it would take to return the last doppelganger to her human self. Unknowingly, he'd sent his pet on a crash course with destiny this night. At the same time that he worked on edge, he was already too late._

_It wouldn't work. _

_ The spirit had come to be born. A life time had passed for Elena as a vampire. Fate already knew the time allotted for her, and let it pass away as it sang for the next life. Such things it mourned from a distance. Being undead severed Fates control over a life to some extent. It was unnatural. There had been no hope despite Elena's remarkable capacity for love-it was her destiny to die. There was no going back, no more blood to misuse, no more children at the cusp of greatness doomed to fail. No spell to continue the cycle. Elena had no children, and so a new spirit had been forged. It had been waiting for this moment, and they called to it. Klaus had no control. Elena was doomed. Earth, Destiny, and Fate sang their song stronger than ever._

_ In this world of darkness, Damon Salvatore graced the living with their death. And it wasn't of his choice. Klaus had become more sinister than ever. If Stefan refused him, then he'd hurt Damon. And he had. Tormenting him, not letting him feed, forcing him to kill relentlessly. And it was punishment for what Stefan had done locking him away in a coffin over 30 years ago. Punishment in not saving Elena when he could have so easily._

_ It was also to keep Damon locked away as they searched for a cure for Elena. Damon had a knack for interrupting, and his impulsive behavior had gotten on Klaus's last nerve. He wasn't much upset when he'd learned about Rebekkah's death. What infuriated him was knowing that both brothers had absorbed her powers. And with it, her line. It was only a matter of time before they came after him. Damon was a means to an end either way._

_ But It, once known as Damon, remembered so little these days. Klaus ordered him to kill and he did. His body once taunt and viable was lost to shadows and wisps. It had been forever since Elena had graced his eyes. Forever since he'd touched her-anyone really. Only when he killed. It knew endless servant hood and was forever captured in Klaus's compulsion, under his spell. Forever _Lost_._

_The shadow that he was, had no idea what would take place this night, only that it would most affect moment the order was set in motion, his fate had been sealed as well. An order to kill Cecelia, who had evaded him for the last three months, had been given. Somehow he knew, after all the staring, tracking and chasing he'd done, that his life's purpose had begun. It felt purpose in this kill, in the order, but the girl was simply too ordinary._

_Klaus had finally ordered the kill, and this meant It could sate It's hunger until the next time. A woman It had been tracking for sometime had become irate some place below his shadowy no longer were like the old days, It mused. Vampires and werewolves had to remain hidden and careful. Even though the war between the two raged on, the bigger threat was humans. And those damned witches! It began to scan the location to sense any other undeads._

_The war had to come to this, It remembered. Bonnie Bennett had stood aligned with the humans, and changed the face of their world. She'd undone some of the earlier harm she'd caused by allowing Klaus to live on. And while nature had robbed her of its gift of power, she'd found it in darkness. _

_But no longer. The grounds shriveled up to witches once they became tainted with darkness. It was earth's way of punishing her children for their misdeeds. Either walk in the light or be shunned. And Bonnie had returned to the Light, giving the humans some weapons before she died. Some say the sadness is what did her in. Ether way she'd effectively brought the vampires into the light.  
_

_Humans knew vampires lived among them-labeling them Dark Ones. Actually everything that was considered evil was labeled Dark. Those that were good called themselves the Light Ones. Cliche' really, the shadow thought to Itself. It watched the human woman run from place to place for months now, perplexed yet unsure. Recently, It had found her again, but she looked worse than before, It noted drawing closer._

_The Originals of old were not the only kind of vampire either. It ended It's search of the area when there was no response. Satisfied, the shadow began to descend on the woman. Originals were a pain to kill, but the others were worse. Talk about evolution that they don't teach kids in school, It thought. Even as powerful as It was, caution was never a bad thing._

_But they'd found a way to kill them, mainly Rebekah, by drinking her dry. Absorbing her blood, her power, and her line. He'd done it not caring if he'd die for it. It was the price the wench paid for basically turning Elena. If he could have, It would have killed the other...the one that had let her die. But she loved that one. Pity, It thought. And It remembered those almond brown eyes with regret. It had made him even more powerful than before, but at what cost?he'd lost a fraction of his mind.  
_

_See, the shadow mused again, no vampire had to die like Sage had though. The one...Stef-... had joined him in that feast. Together, those sired in her line lived on through them. But it had changed Damon, and not for the better. Some believed Klaus enslaved him for the sheer strength he alone managed to gain._

_ The others, a different sort of vampire, were far older and more exclusive. Not much was known about them. For every prey there was a stalker. It had encountered them before, and they fought much the same way. It thought back to the fights, and considered them to be a different breed of the same species. And they knew of him. Everyone simply called It, the Leviathan now. A large dark mass of shadows, horrors, and death. Malevolent to the core, fear and enraged, It had a reputation. If it was seen, it mean your death._

_ Everything always seemed to come at the hands of a witch, why were they not slaughtered? If It could sneer, It would. The woman below became more frantic as she ran about, below. Perhaps she sensed It? _

_ Elijah remained hidden, but it was no bother to him as It lurked, waiting. It remembered this ones face, as it had a standing order to kill that one too. Would he be a match for them, It wondered. Elena had walked the world with Ste.., last It knew. And It didn't care. Hardened heart, the shadow shifted from building to building searching out its prey's intended location, mapped out exits and escapes. Things had changed, and memories were few and far between. Those almond eyes only brought pain, and It didn't want to feel pain anymore. When it spotted her, pause over came the shadow lingering up high. _

Something_ made It pause against a direct order for the first time in 30 years._

_As It looked on, the woman was but a teen...maybe 17 or 19 most with sun bright blonde hair. Her eyes were a deep blue, but she was not in the best shape and extremely thin. Dirt clung to her...old style looking servant dress? It was Halloween...but still. Who dressed like that any more? She looked rather small for her age. Also, she seemed to be clinging to her belly, and once she stifled a cry and stretched with pain, It saw she was with child. _

___ But not for long._


	2. Prologue 2

___An: I figured out a few things and fixed typos. Uploaded wrong a few times, but should be good now. Even early on we see Damon begin to be more of his own mind, but remember he will be shattered for a while.  
_

___Pro pt 2_

___Con't  
_

_ The Leviathan became unnerved then, and sniffed once more. The woman was not the source of blood, it was the child within her. Anyone would be able to tell this with one whiff of air. How was it that she went unnoticed? _He_ was not the only one stalking her this night. Distantly, It followed the trace sounds of a minion as it circled the area. Necromancer, he __thought vaguely. Looking around, he seemed to come into his own suddenly. Flashes of memories sputtered along...Stefan-his brother. Looking back at the girl, he felt the air of faint magic around her. What was shrouding her would not last on that infant._

_ The young woman smashed a car window, blond hair sticking to her face as it began to rain once more. She managed to get in, hot wire, and drive off. That was saying something for less than 50 seconds flat. Following, the shadow contemplated when best to strike._

_ The car veered off the road near some woods that went on for miles in the dense Forrest of Virginia. She waddled her way for about three miles when it became too much to bear. Thickly, she sagged against a tree panting harshly._

_ She tried to stifle a cry, but couldn't hide it. The scent of blood filled the air, and the girl looked down murmuring a spell. "Oh no...not now," she panicked. "You can't come yet-its not time..." she winced in more pain._

_Why was she in labor?_

_ She sensed _IT_ then and looked right into the hopeless darkness as her child came into the world. Eyes bulged in pain, her front knelled over, and a washy sound filled the air. Momentarily confused, the girl tore at her clothes and tended to the child. The darkness looked on feeling something it hadn't for decades. Terror. The birth of an ancient soul...Damon didn't understand how he knew-but he knew what the child was.  
_

_ That blood was the strongest, most potent blood. Many knew about the ancient guardians-Immortals. He'd over heard the conversation once, with Klaus talking to random people. It seemed he too was curious about dark magic and still trying to undo his doppelgangers fate. That won't happen, he thought bitterly. And then her image came to mind. Dark hair and eyes, a smile radiant like the sun. Elena, Damon whispered. Her life time was fast approaching it's end. Within a regular lifespan, which was Klaus's belief, was the only way to reverse what she was._

_ This event had somehow gone unnoticed, though._

_From his vague memories, the shadow knew the name Damon, but not much that had gone with it. He knew he once loved a woman-Elena. That woman loved Stefan-his biological brother. Her best friend was Bonnie-the witch who'd set all of this in motion. Still fragmented, Damon became angry, and frustrated.  
_

_Air hung heavy with the scent of death and battle; ripe almost. As a shadow, he lingered in a state of prison of lost years. Below he watched a baby struggle for breath in the trees below him. He was always locked into this state of being unless, until he was unleashed by his 'master'. His power was the ultimate killer, and yet here he stood, watching a helpless human struggle to live. __**Feed**__, his mind roared with a was the order to kill the woman which had been compelled into his brain._

_But they were not alone. His body grew taunt as brushes and bushes cracked under conspicuous feet. Someone wasn't even trying to hide. Death scent filled the air, rank and rotting. A necromancers pet...the thing had followed. damn mages...  
_

_Drawing closer, Damon aimed for a nearby bush, but landed head first on the ground before Cecelia, and the child.  
_

___ "YOU." the girl said with hatred slithering in her voice. She was frightened, and with good reason._

___ She saw him. Looking down, the shadow had taken form when he'd drawn close to the woman and the child._

___Before either of them could run, a grotesque hand whipped around from the other side of the tree and severed the mother's head. Like some amphibian 's tongue it latched on and pulled with an elasticity that made even the darkness cringe. For a moment their eyes locked, then her eyes became lifeless and her soul departed. Her head dropped a few feet from her body, and then it too followed. _

_ As the child fell to the ground, darkness reached for it. Once in hands, it took off __running for what seemed like forever. There was safety to consider, and it just understood that as a fact and acted. It lavished the feel of another being. Faintly, it heard the minion tearing at flesh, and it's mage master homing in. This must have been the one they were searching for...but had they known about the child?Perhaps Klaus thought the same...That this baby was supposed to be Cecelia?  
_

___ The child was different from the others. It didn't know how it knew that, just that it...he... did. It also knew it belonged to him, that he had form, that it burned his blood. So he took its to his hole in the wall, and looked upon this tiny little thing. All he could do is stare. And the child opened her eyes once, then slept the dreams that make babies smile. It channeled it's power into the child for some time to make sure it would live. Such things hurt these days, but it had __the power to use._

___There was no particular reason to continue to watch the infant, since he could careless, its mother had been killed. With the duty done his shape normally lost form and bled into the darkness. But here he remained, curious. Solid. Deathly hungry...  
_

_It appeared the child was a bit undersized, possibly premature. No more than 2 minutes had passed since its recent birth and it had already begun to die, shivering in the bitter cold. Bewildered with uncertainty, he watched on. He _wanted_ this one…something he didn't quite understand. The sense of ownership creased though him with unease just as soundly as the need to kill it did._

_Her age didn't matter-this was not a sexual kind of want. Several infants had been born tonight, a night of the full moon, a night of a blood moon. Indeed a special night among the spirits. It was this one he had waited for; somehow his mind already knew what he didn't logically understand. Damon had felt something like this before...with Elena...but not this...weird. He wanted to protect this child, save it, watch it. Hell...USE it for his freedom.  
_

_Ah, but I am not one to misread instinct, the shadow thought. This was the one that would free him-at last. And no one knew she existed but him. A slow, haunted smile creased his shadowed mouth. Even though he wasn't fully in this realm, the smile still could ice the breeze in place with its coldness. Rage. Anger. Desire for freedom it said. He was in the Abyss, a sort of halfway ground between here and there. _

_A low moaning and dragging sound caught the Shadows attention. Damon stood alert gripping the small body close to his chest. When he looked down, his clothes remained the same as the day he'd been made a shadow. Carefully, he put the child in the confines of his jacket and held tight.  
_

_An undead pet creature dragged the body of the mother away leaving a bloody trail. Apparently it did not sense the dying child, or it simple didn't care either. The body was nearly discernible, ragged, hacked and bitten as it was taken away. Carrying it away was a tar covered body that smelled like 8 week old garbage. A necromancers pet, the Shadow noted, wondering what person had done to piss off the Necro to become like it was. _

_The baby was silent, and went unmoving._

_The scent didn't bother him, as he expected, it was more the child that sang to him than anything else nearby that even came close. Though he hungered, something gave him the strength to resist the call of the blood. Slowly he descended on the infant once the creature passed, and noted that it was a pale blue due to the lack of oxygen it needed. he hadn't been ordered to kill this creature, so it was safe-for now.  
_

_Actual corporeal form, he mused with excitement. It __**was**__ her! Damon leered into the dark of night with a grin._

_Stunned he sat crouched in landed position and sniffed the air. His hands slowly felt the prickles of loose pebbles, his feet felt solid ground, and his ears felt the passing wind as it howled through the vacant area. It had been well over 30 years since he stood as a man, as true form with no leash. _

_It was her alright. But she was weak, and human, and dying._

_From a distance he heard the war leaders speaking, and smirked to himself. The war was put on hold for now-the Mages had successfully defected and offered a wonderful distraction._

_The Shadow looked upon the baby female and reached out to touch her. The tiny form twitched but the sound of its heart grew slower. Cocking his head, the Shadow felt a sort of tug, but a nearby rustle had him lifting off at a seconds glance with the child in toe. The roofs would be much safer, and faster to jump from should he need. Damon hauled back towards town, speeding form unseen by humans. No one must see them, less the secret get out. It wasn't like anyone knew his face anymore...but taking chances was not his forte._

_His world had consisted of moving around place to place with the occasional stop in mystic falls. When the council had moved to eradicate all vampires...well they'd reached a bit far and wide. There was more kinds of vampires, a reason wolves walked the earth, and it had a lot to do with the original girl Tatia._

_His memories faded and would resurface, and he shrugged. That was then, and this is now, he thought._

_Ten minutes later he walked the streets down town hands in his pockets, black on black. Normally cloths didn't matter when all people saw was shadowy wisps. Inside his heavy leather jacket was the infant nestled against his chest. She stirred momentarily and then drifted off to sleep. Not much had changed in thirty years aside technology, but the world had slowed down from the economy. Natural disasters seemed to appear each time things looked up._

_The draw of blood was cumbersome at best as he passed by humans. Slipping into a hotel was the best idea, and sure enough compelling his way through with hypnotism was easier than expected. It was not often he interacted with humans, and they offered almost no resistance or challenge at all. Weak._

_When he finally got to a secure room, he didn't bother to turn on the lights. Unzipping his jacket he took the child in his hands and laid her on the bed. Her body was covered in chapped birth fluids, and particles that clung to her soft skin; exceptionally soft skin with a deep luster to it. Once he was assigned to kill someone in particular, that was all he could touch. That had been her mother, yet he'd bitten her and not killed her a few months back. She had escaped his grasp once. Now she was dead yet he touched her offspring. Curiosity had made him more curious._

_A Hunter-a wolf... John, a man he had only heard of, had nearly killed him that night. To his best guess, John had a fondness for the woman. He had such a fondness that he would go against the shadow-the only one that could kill a Light with his bite. As leader of the Lights faction, it was his duty to protect the witch line. Cecelia had been no strong witch, but she must have been uniquely headed the wolves being of their Original cursed family. The guy was a bitch to fight. A huge pain in the ass in tactics and following. If only he'd kill Klaus...  
_

_Not many could engage him. He was swift on his feet, barely uninhabitable, and he could bite. The spell Bonnie had cast to protect the Lights blood from dark mouths didn't apply to him. He was unsure why he could bite and live through their bitter blood with no qualms unlike his brethren vampires. That was his use, this was his place. John and he were going to finish that fight someday soon, the Shadow thought and smiled. The bald werewolf was tall, muscular and looked like a wrestler with a trench coat. And he had a motorcycle. Cliche'...  
_

_He looked up, and into his own dull eyes. They were lost, broken and empty. They still beheld a type of sinister disaster to them, but no snark. He didn't care that he'd killed, but he didn't enjoy it. There was no reasons to it, no indulging in blood, no nothing. Then there was the dirt that lined his form. Years worth. On his left side, right on the ribs is where John had nearly ended him. When he was too close to Cecelia, after biting her.  
_

_The thing growing in Cecelia had caused him to react even way back then. John had acted and nearly ended his life when he took shape. But he hadn't been able to take shadow form until he was a great distance from his foe. The wolf pursued him, but to no avail. The woman Cecelia had made a run for it. The Shadow had followed her safely far away. Then one day he lost her completely.  
_

_John was attached to this woman…but he was unaware that she was with child. Cecelia, as he'd called her, ran at the earliest possible time she could-probably to seek out her lover. Such things were unheard of. Light and Darks did not mesh. Damon could barely remember the Asian man with his black hair. The same hair she had. The eyes though...those were from Cecelia. In the few moments they had looked upon him, Damon had felt completely naked and exposed. Only Elena had made him feel that way before.  
_

_She'd known what that baby was, but she didn't have the heart to kill it. Her enemies' baby…she was smart to have run. And now she was dead, her child born in war, on a day like today, significantly too early. The child would be special having been born this day, to a Light mother. Otherwise, who knew? He was almost sure the father had been Dark. It was just too hard to think things through.  
_

_He wanted what was inside her pulsing with such ferocity, he salivated just thinking about the memory. And here it was, in the form of a baby-like some prize out of a machine. Now he was sure it was the child, and not the mother, there would have to be someone to hide her with. Someone to compel before Klaus called him back.. Damon hadn't been close to caring since Elena. This creature, laying still on his bed, made him...feel things...emotions. His master would come looking for him, he knew, so he needed a plan. Heal her, his mind urged. Wasn't she too young?, Damon considered. His fangs descended and he pricked his finger. He couldn't chance someone figuring this out.  
_

_She is too young…_

_His sight was clear as day would be to a normal person in the darkness of the room. With no further hesitation he put the finger to the infants lips, and watched the changes start. The skin grew into a rosy pale color, the hair didn't look coarse but rather soft. Tiny fingers and toes reached into the air. The lungs no longer seemed labored and the rest was history. He smiled down into the bluest eyes, a deep cerulean color that would make an ocean jealous. Once the infant was awake, he lifted it into the sink and cleaned it the best he could, followed by doing the same to himself, and his chest. _

_Whoever cleaned this bathroom was going to ask questions if they saw blooded towels. Better to bag them and toss them later, he thought. It was then he noticed the child had ingested some of his blood yet she'd lived just as the mother had his bite. Strange, as a relief spread through him. He could feel her inside himself; he could feel her pulse stronger with life now. It had never felt this way before, and he eyed the child. Cocking his head, he wondered just how old her soul did it mean to be ancient? Her blood sang, but it didn't drive him mad with need. Such were the stories of old anyway. Perhaps the spell the mother cast?  
_

_ Older souls had a faint power or wisdom about the eyes. It was not that they'd already lived, as some might figure. It was just that they were made so long ago. She was of the old world, and maybe he'd understand some about that world though her. As it was, his world was lost, vague, and littered with sadness._

_How very funny and amusing…death and life in one room._

_How was that possible? No one had ever tasted his blood and lived since his master took control over him. Now there were two less than twenty years apart in age. Even among their own kind it made some sick before he slaughtered them. It was actually a good way to secure a slow horrid death, a good way to get information, a good way to pass the time. They never lived anyway, but it was an amusing torture to see._

_Once the child was warm and bundled, he looked down at his salvation with calculated eyes. There is something about this one, something off putting, but implacable. What the hell is SHE? Clearly no one else could feel the pounding pulse of her life. Then it hit him, Mommy gave her last spell to her child. Again, he was _omitted_ from the drawbacks of yet another spell. First Bonnie's and now this one._

_Her heartbeat was much stronger, and grew stronger each moment he listened. Awe shook him. He knew her then, like the back of his hand, and would be able to find her anywhere. If he had a right mind, he'd use her now, and dispose of her before things got out of hand-but something would not allow him. This child was more than beautiful, she tugged at his humanity. She was as alone in the world as he, which was saying something.  
_

_If she lasted until a decent age-he could turn her as his own-his equal. But that was farfetched for he'd never been able to turn another since capture. He'd use her to get his freedom, secure his future, then take her. He could craft her life, make things hard, make her bitter and need him. He'd seen enough of life to know how to manipulate one so young. She was like a sponge of possibilities right now…this excited him. No wonder his Master wanted the mother dead. His master had thought Cecelia was this child…Klaus would be underhanded again.  
_

_Something…felt…odd. So odd it was like that thought one had on the cusp of their mind, yet was unable to recollect. It was if he felt a kinship for it-for her-that he had never felt with any of the others of his kind. A mere human baby, of all of them. Even surpassing the feelings Elena had given him. And thankfully, she looked nothing like Katherine. Maybe she'd fall for Stefan too. Then I would have to kill her, Damon laughed inwardly. Yet he knew he wouldn't. She was his little secret. For now.  
_

_Damon waited until she slept, and marked a small place on each side of her neck-should he forget her. It was their way now-vampires...they marked what was theirs. Once he finished he licked the tip of his finger savoring the taste of her blood. it was devine, and calmed his hunger immediately.  
_

_It felt so good to touch something and not end a life. It felt good just to exist right now in a silent room away, but with the hum of voice, not too far off._

_Even still he enjoyed the simple touch of her small fingers as they wrapped around his own. Her tongue darted out and her mouth formed a smooth small o. It was like she was laughing at him, he gathered. For moments he simply watched the child breathe. Her hair was utterly lustrous black, soft tiny curls. Even just born she was breathlessly beautiful. Her eyes were blue crystals…lighter or darker…they burned with an intensity one so young should not possess._

_Touch. It'd been too of him and he thanked her, and knew he'd look after her._

_It _had_ been too long, too long indeed, since he had felt the touch of another. Too bad this was not one he could feed off. Revenge would be sweet, and bitter as would his freedom. His Master had taught him well, and it would be his undoing. _

_Soon he would be a slave no longer to this form, his Master, or to anyone else. Placing the child on the bed he stepped away enjoying this small freedom of walking. He closed his eyes, raised his head to the ceiling and hissed with the joy of it. Damon Salvatore was back, and with a vengeance._

_Her eyes fluttered open in that moment and he was standing over her watching blue jewels. A deep drowning blue gaze met his silvery electric blue one, and it was like he was swirling in a lost sea. She began to cry until he held her, where she fell asleep in his arms once , she liked him! Well the girls always used to...and he smiled again.  
_

_His face darted to the mirror again that was opposite the bed. His eyes glowed a silvery blue, now. Another hint of what he was. Because the rings offered them day light protection, Bonnie had also made it easier to spot us by our eyes, he noted. In the dim of night they had that predatory sheen now._

_Looking down at the small bundle made his mind wander some. He drew a bellboy to the room, effectively compelling him without eye contact. He bit into the youths neck carelessly and drank his no longer had to worry about actual eye contact, thank god. When he was finished he wiped his mouth and handed the kid a bag. "Toss and burn these. Tell no one what you saw here."_

_For a long while he lay next to her watching her sleep once the door closed. She had indeed been born too early. But he knew she would be fine. His blood had healed her tonight.  
_

_Her skin was still pale unlike his darkly tanned arms. This must be her color…like a porcelain doll. She looked slightly of mixed heritage, but she was too young to tell-to tiny indeed. Every moment her heart kept pounding, she became stronger, and he didn't feel as uneasy. She smelled amazingly wonderful; too wonderful as his heart ached once more. Beautiful women came with beautiful problems.  
_

_This girl has _spirit_ to her-she fought to live and was almost in the clearing. I will have my Mark on her, he thought, to keep others away. Her beauty alone would be drawing. I need to find a suitable human pair to care for this young until the time is ripe, he thought. Today is a day of power, all hallows eve. No one will ever guess she exists._

"_You are my little ghost, _Spirit." _With that the Shadow laid the perfect red rose at her side and said her name. "Lily"_

**The next chapter will finish where chapter one was. The next one (4) will start to be split up between some past and present. maybe a few pasts first. I'll try to keep it interesting, but expect both good and bad things from Lily or Damon. They are imperfect and or violent people in many ways. Lily is nothing like sweet Elena. And eventually Damon will address Elena down the road. Leave feedback, ask questions you are unclear about, and enjoy!_  
_


	3. Chapter 1

A/N: _This story will feature some of our other tvd cast, but is **not** DE centered. It will be Damon with Lily, another character. I miss categorized it since Elena and Damon are right on the same part of the list. I was informed I made a mistake, harshly, so I am addressing it here and in the description to avoid further confusion. I am sorry this happened it wasn't on purpose. Please PM me if I make a mistake, I'll gladly fix it. New here.  
_

_It's about what happened to Damon after Elena turned, things went down in mystic falls, and how the human world learned of vampires. Damon will eventually resolve his issues with Elena, but for now, he is trying to get his life back 50 years forward. He finds himself as a shadow, a creature that only takes form when Klaus orders him to kill someone. He finds a female that he wishes to use to get rid of Klaus, since she makes him Corporeal when they are near. What begins as a meal ticket to freedom, becomes something more. Broken Damon finds life after Elena, but it explains why he was drawn to her, and why he is drawn to Lily. For Fans that love Damon, but maybe not Elena, or just want an alternative._

He'd bitten four times now, the same spot, and she practically writhed off the bed. It would bleed, he'd lick at it, and it would heal. Then he'd repeat the process nearly sending her over the edge. Damon, she called towards him dimly.

She was his solace. Elena had never given him this pleasure. And Lily was still human. More than human, he corrected.

"You're thinking of her again." She looked soft in the dim light, and Damon laid closer to her form on the bed. He'd always longed for moments like this, her blood, or her scent. It was just something about her that he couldn't ignore.

"Sort of. More about how different you are from her." His voice was soft, and matter of fact.

"I know you love her."

He looked over at her then. "Lily," he called out licking his lips. She'd moved to get up when he gently caught her arm. "Stay." It was a soft pleading tone, but she didn't want to be here in the first place. It hurt to be around him, like a physical pain.

"I can't. It isn't right." A pained expression lit his face.

"She used to say that to me." Damon let her go feeling the sting grow each moment she stayed away.

"Damon," Lily said turning around for a moment. "It's not about us...there are bigger things at stake here. If I do this with you, I'm condemning everyone. If we resist, then I can free you."

It was just his luck, to find the only females who didn't want him. "Is it Stefan?"

She laughed at him then, "No. Wayyyyy no. I don't like him that much to begin with."

"Most of the girls I tend towards seem to." He rubbed at the stubble on his face. They'd met up with Stefan and Elena last week to discuss the way things had gone around town. He was surprised to not feel as upset as he'd expected. Elena had looked on with a curiosity towards Lily. He'd never looked away from Lily.

"I'm not most girls. And besides," she motioned. "He has Elena. They seem...happy." She made a face of distaste, and turned towards the door.

I know you're not like most girls, Damon thought. He wanted to run his fingers across her neck, down her voluptuous front, and bury himself anywhere within her he could. Elena may have brought him in touch with his humanity, but Lily accepted his more...vampiric side. This had always amused him, her acceptance of him. At least she didn't hate me anymore, he thought bemused. She knew the truth now...she understood. He'd learned that mistake over fifty years ago when he'd hidden certain aspects from Elena.

"Lily?" he said, and she turned.

Lily watched him, the way his eyes grew silver and full of desire. It had her lips quivering, and he hadn't since touched her. Part of her felt angry at Elena, and Kathrine. She smiled knowing it had been her hand that had slayed the bitch. Elena seemed pretty normal as far as being a vampire, but she didn't like her better than thou attitude.

Damon got off the bed and walked towards her slowly. Knowing this could possibly complicate things, he didn't overly care. His shirt was open, his jeans hung low on his hips. The fine line of said hips met right where his trail began, and he'd noticed she was looking. Her parted lips looked like a welcome invitation he wished to explore. How would she sound yelling my name? He wondered. His body just reacted to every stare, each look, each touch lit him on fire.

Such things stirred things within, and she gulped. He was deathly beautiful, dangerous beyond measure and he was coming for her. His hair was in disarray, a tad too long hung over his ears. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days, lining his jaw in darkness. Inward he smiled very aware of what he was about to do. It was kind of weird, he'd saved her life as an infant. It wasn't until recently, he'd been freed, yet he kept stalking her. What he thought was his meal ticket to freedom was his lingering refusal to leave her alone.

Lily was strong, witty, energetic and mobile. She lived a life on the go, traveled place to place. She had no roots and few judgments. The girl was brilliant, fascinating and gorgeous. He knew, in that dark place of his, that he wanted to make her his. Another thing he'd have to wait for. She was fairly tall coming up to his nose in height, all legs and perfect breasts. She wore too many clothes for his taste, which he guessed was to hide physical beauty. Her normal long mane of black raven hair shined in a bun at the top of her head. She was a mix of American and Asian, exotic beauty all the way. Her eyes, they were a deep currealean blue, the kind that stopped you, and looked through your soul. It unnerved him, but there was some kind of raw sexuality to this woman.

He didn't quiet understand this desire that had sprung from nowhere. He'd always felt an affinity toward her, like he'd distantly met her once, but nothing sexual. Once Klaus had finally been slayed, Damon was free to do whatever he pleased. And that's where it had begun. At first he thought to find Stefan and Elena and possibly taunt them for a time. Every idea had come back to her. These days, his thoughts were lingering on doing all sorts of dark things to the tall raven haired girl that stood by his doorway.

His heart raced at the thought. Whatever attraction between them always flared at the touch, and that damned honing sensation always filled him when she was near. It was like part of his skin wanted to detach itself and plaster itself to hers. She started to talk again, and Damon slid back into reality.

Elena brought your humanity to the surface, then buried you in all of its pain. "I think she loved you more. I mean you never really love two people equally. I feel bad for Stefan in that sense. You can see it was still there, when we went there." She rearrange her clothes unaware he wanted to take them off.

The mention of Elena's name irritated him once more. How very odd. Maybe you are finally moving past the little brunette beauty, he considered. "Kind of how you gravitate toward Julian?" He'd meant it as a question, but her form grew stiff.

Julian was in control of the wolf pack near Mystic Falls. Someone Damon didn't want getting his hands on Lily. He knew that of she left here and went back to him, Julian may get his way with her. The man was good, but he reminded him of Stefan. And that sat utterly wrong with him. Martyr types were not something he was fond of. He didn't want the guy near Lily. She was his, and he wanted it to stay that way.

"I'm not right for him either, I suppose." She thought over her lifestyle, the way things had changed for her since this all had started. She looked back at Damon who was standing three feet from her. He understood her desire for pain, and she understood the nature of the vampire. She was not a weak woman though, and this was something Julian would never get. What they shared earlier was something that mutually satisfied needs. All of the torture had taken a toll. It was the only way she could deal, and it bothered her. Was something wrong with me, to feel this way, Lily wondered again.

Was this why she kept coming back to him?

Reading her expression, "Just because you aren't into a certain way of life doesn't mean-" he trailed off lightly.

"Damon," Lily began with a pained expression. "I've been beaten, tortured, hurt in more ways than I want to say," she left the rest open to trail out without words. He knew, of course he did. He'd watched over her in some way all of her life. And she knew that now. She knew about the red roses he'd left for her each year the day she was born. She'd realized the eyes she'd always felt watching were him.

She continued, a little more quiet. "I don't see how I am in any shape to save anyone. Not anymore. I guess I'm just trying to find my way."

He moved in then, bare feet scarcely registering on the floor. His long fingers came up to cusp her cheek in his hand, and she dipped into it. We are one in the same, he thought bitterly. Everything he'd done, he'd done wrong again. Maybe I don't deserve her love, he thought with regret.

"I'll find my way," she said more sure of herself. "I have to-for you. For the others. I have to undo this mess."

"Of course you will," He said matter of fact. "You're not a witch though, Lily. Her power," he said reminding her of Bonnie's power. "It cost her her life."

Lily's face was forlorn, "What Tatia did ruined it for everyone. It's my fate to fix it."

Damon's hand drew her close in, feeling her warmth pour into himself. She came like a moth to the flame, eyes widening fractionally. His face brushed over the soft even black hair-darker than his. This was his fate. To finally find the One...only to lose her again. Lily was many things, above all them, a fighter. An equal. Someone he didn't have to change for. Someone he could embrace.

"Whatever it is that I am...I can't change it."

I could _change_ you, he thought. But he knew he wouldn't. He wasn't sure if he could change anyone yet, or if they had to kill the others who'd aided in the spell that had bound him for 50 years. Lily had set Damon free once she'd killed Klaus. It made him smile at her as he revisited the memory. She was slowly etching away at the others that had brought him to his knees. Until then, their fate was sealed as it was. Her life for his. His for hers. They needed each other to live.

I _want_ her, his mind rolled out. The sound echoed in ever nerve of his brain, and he wanted to be deep inside her. This poised a problem, because their were other bonds that formed. Part of him didn't care. He'd chased this girl for months unaware just why or how he'd wanted her. The proof was in this room, and his pants.

A soft beauty, like the flower he'd named her for, came to mind. Before he could think, he opened himself for just a moment, and let himself feel her. The essence of Lily pounded against his mind, his flesh, and his soul. No, I can't let her go back to Julian.

Deep inside, Lily felt the way Damon connected to her. It spread like wildfire throughout her blood. His power surged learning the most inner places he could. It gave him something to hold on to. It made her uneasy, and she tried to step away. Unsure of why he was doing this, Lily's brows formed a small V.

He grasped her firmly by the upper arms, holding her in place. She tried to get free, then stood still as the electric shot of his power blossomed deep inside. Heat flamed through her body, making her long sleeves seem to much to wear. Breathless, her eyes unfocused. He knew it would be the curiosity that would get her. She was not easily enticed, and her libido seemed tied to her desire for pain. With everything she'd gone through, she'd pushed men away. It wouldn't surprise him if he'd be her first lover.

Their kiss was light and feathery at first, followed, by a mutual longing. Not able to stop the force pulling them together, Lily was helpless to resist his searching tongue as it met hers. Mind was defiantly not over matter here, but the mental scolding was lost adrift in his arms.

The power of that one spot of tongues touching had her breath, and sent a cascade of shivered wildness throughout her body. Subsequent meetings sent flashes of longing that brewed deep within her core. The tight clenching had her reaching for his hair, seeking his mouth, letting his hands encircle her in their warm embrace. She moaned deeply against his mouth, and he drew her closer still. It was if they were flying, soaring, until she felt the bed beneath her back. Their eyes met briefly, and he struggled to control himself.

Looking up into those eyes, that normally were like daggers of blue, she could see them shift between silver and sky. Each warring emotion taking hold and fighting with the other. Deep down she knew that the control he needed would depend on her, but the sheer beauty of this man lingering above her sent her mind adrift. This feeling...it was intense.

Her body wanted-no needed him desperately. She began to shake as his head drew down to culminate the joy of their mouths. His body rested on forearms has he blanketed her slim form, relishing in the feel of conquering her like this. It felt right, and finally, he wanted her to succumb to his charms. In fact, his mind began a foray of ways to aid in her desiring this more than any reason her mind could find.

Silently, part of his brain begged her to stop him before it was too late. It feared that he'd do something that would compromise them later. Damon grasped her wrists and gently slide them above her head and began to kiss her neck. Below, Lily arched up to meet his wandering mouth, skin tickled by the stubble on his face. She sighed his name, and he was lost with need. Every square inch of his body wanted her to yield to him.

Do _not_ bite her, his mind yelled. If he bit her during sex...

His body became erect with desire, his teeth aching to decent once more. It was agonizingly slow torture to be this close. He wanted her. He wanted her like the desert wanted rain. Like a hungry man needed food. He wanted to fill her completely and ease her pain, to show her how things _could_ be. He wanted her to come all around him, feel her let go with reckless abandon. He'd had women before, but never wanted one like he did her. Every moment seemed to lead him here, to her.

Her nipples became taunt as he descended towards them, heady with longing. No man had ever spurred such a reaction from her meek libido. It was only him, and those teeth, those eyes...the first slow skim of his hand made her nerves fly off the roof. Slow and sensually, he teased the sides of her breasts before drawing ever so much closer. The attraction, and pulsating hum in the air, only fueled the burning flame they'd created. He rubbed just under the nipple tracing imaginary lines of nerves. Each time she tried to forced her body closer to his fingers, he'd only move away.

His lips kissed tiny sporadic places there between the valley of breasts before he descended on her mouth once more. Her legs jerked in response, a small hiss escaping swollen lips. He found her pulse just under her collarbone and licked slow circles in time with his hands. Reel it in, Damon, cut the desire to bite. Her entire body shook with need, her head flinging side to side. She writhed in rhythm to his motions.

He was going to fuck her, and hard.

The scent of desire filled the room as she freed her hands from his grasp. She bit hard on his lower lip, tongue darting out against his. This kiss was urgent, needy, and his had finally cupped her round flesh in his hand. Need shot down to the wetness between her legs, her heart raced like an animal, and she nearly came from the sheer pleasure.

"_Damon_", she muttered lost in a sea of emotion and lust. She needed...needed something. Try as she might, she couldn't get a hold of reality. There was no escaping this seduction.

His fingers plucked at her nipple as he watched her face change. Once she'd said his name, he'd leaned down and capture the small bud in his teeth before licking it in tune with his lips. He sucked lightly, then harder, repeating the motions on the other breast. Her nailed bit into his skin as he roamed her flash.

Unable to resist the desire to feel her inside, Damon's fingers tugged at the button of her jeans, yanking them forcibly down while his mouth sought hers once more. For a moment her hand came to linger over his, and the darkness that was inside rose to the surface. Successfully seducing her under, Damon continued his onslaught. His sex was pulsing with excitement.

I won't be denied, his mind roared to life. He felt it rise up, connect with her mind and soar through the nerves of her body. It touched places his hands could never reach, and Lily grasped his shoulders as waves of pleasure ripped over her. Distracted, he pulled her jeans down enough to skim over the small fabric of her panties.

"Christ," she yelled. His hand palmed over her and the word no was lost on her lips. It was so light, too light, her hips rose off the bed.

Like some raging animal, Damon rolled her to the side as she was one again lost in his desperate kiss. His hand fanned her bottom, kneading the flesh as well as pushing down that last barrier. Her skin practically glowed in the dim light, and it was alive beneath his fingers.

Carefully, slowly, Damon slipped two fingers between her soft folds. It was his turn to moan her name. There was no hair there, just soft woman skin, and a scent to die for. The urge to come was fast and rising, and he wanted to lose it inside those walls as they came around him. His sex jerked in response to her wetness, and grew harder along his pants. He turned them back over so he was atop of her again. He placed a arm across her chest, settling more weight over her for a time.

He'd never touched Lily this way, and he could hardly restrain himself any longer. Why was she allowing him? He lapped at her breast and lifted himself to pull her jeans down further. Next, he spread her slender legs wider and trailed his fingers up, igniting every single nerve along the way. He could bite her here, but that would send her over too fast, he mused. I want it on my dick.

She was utterly soft-too soft almost. Once he reached her center, he filled her body with two fingers and rubbed her clit excessively slow. His rhythm was met with her circling hips. He laid his palm over the top, and she called his name once more. He didn't let her come, but backed off again. She mumbled something incoherent. It was apparent this had become a painful need.

I'm on fire, god help me, Lily thought frantically. She'd become aware they were nearing the danger zone here, but she couldn't seem to stop him. Every fiber of her being was at his whim, seeking some relief from the fire between her legs. Everything else except that spot was focused, ready, willing. She ground her teeth as the pleasure rode over her, daunting her with its power. Her inner walls, tightening around long fingers, stoking.._.fuck_ he stopped again!

The darkness had surged in him, she'd felt it and been drawn to it. It flared to life inside her skin and mind, probing her nerves in ways his hands only accentuated. She wanted him desperately, panting, moaning, thrashing. Only his jeans separated them now.

Lily vaguely knew if this happened she was lost. But she'd never wanted anything so badly. He rose up on his knees, fingers leaving her insides empty and wanting. Fumbling with his jeans, he was seeking to open them and being met with resistance.

Any good so far? Too long?

MF 6/6/12


	4. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you again for the feedback. I am adding some terminology. _

_**Share**=Vampire mutually sharing blood with a human, and human giving blood at the same time; Like Vicky did with Damon in S1. It gives a sense of a high, closeness, and control. This creates a link (and if overdone a bond if done in sequence: wrist, neck, sex) so that the vampire can manifest metaphysical power over something else for a limited time._

_Most often it is used to share a mind link, command, or get into the head of someone when compulsion doesn't work, or someone is too strong at resisting. It requires extreme power or age and is a talent the "other" vampires have more than Mystic Falls Ones. It could be that the younger Mystic Falls vampires never figured it out too. Since Damon has killed various vampires (a future flash back) and absorbed Rebekah's power-he has strength though he is relatively young. I want to stress that, because he will do things over the story that is out of context with what we saw on tv, or in the book. _

_The lingo SHARE is a term used by vamps when out in public as to not draw attention to ones self. Remember these are war futuristic settings. While all wolves or vampires work together against humans, they still fight one another._

Chapter 4: On the road again

Setting: Present time, con't from ch. 1

His eyes began to change then, as Lily looked up at him with wonder. So many things, so many changes...This felt so right...but it was entirely wrong.

It was here, she didn't feel alone, she didn't feel judged as his hands roamed her body once more. He could effectively merge a degree of pain and pleasure into one. Other people didn't understand her, thought this was a sickness, but there was nothing wrong. She didn't have to hide here, she could feel things naturally despite how unnatural they were. Some people defied limits and were wired a different way. It was the rubix cube of her life, finding this pleasure. Finding him. But it went against things she either felt, or things she knew.

His form was built but slim, his hair dark as midnight. Every muscle perfectly exposed and sculpted, outlined in a way that would be an artists' wet dream. His eyes, oh those eyes, she felt lost in them. And the way that predatory glance haunted her, growing silvery in the darkness, made her shiver. A fine line of hair lined his face tickling her when he drew close.

When Lily made no move to leave or object, Damon let his fangs descend from their aching gums. They longed for the taste of her exquisite flesh, like having something cold on a hot day. His body craved the thralling power that ignited in her blood and the way pulsed as it merged with his blood. Nearly a tangible thing, she was the light in his darkness in all ways. He watched her for a moment more before grabbing her hands and returning them just above her head. She seemed to enjoy this to some extent, and he wasn't one to argue with need. If anything, he'd understood need. It had been 50 years worth of pent up need.

His grip was tight, and added just enough pain to hold her still. Waves of pleasure, excitement began to brew over the rim of an invisible cusp. He laid on top of her once more placing most of his weight over her body, gliding slowly against her. His breathtaking sex was _right there_, she noted with desire. So close...god how he made her _want_ him. Put it inside...

Though his face was unreadable, it was one of the things she loved about him. For nearly most all people she met, Lily could read them. It was disappointing and took the zest out of life and expectations. No one seemed to surprise her anymore. Then the look became a mix of determined and serious as he watched her every move. Ahhh...the ache deep inside her only grew, to the point of pain. Her body _wanted_him. "Damon...?"

His eyes watched every move, each expression as she descended into his dark world. "Beg," he said in but a whisper. Her eyes widened at the gentleness, and the way he tightened his grasp on her wrists.  
This time, it would be his choice to have her at his will. He'd always had to beg Kathrine...Elena. This one was his. And she felt so _soft_. Like silk sheets, velvet even. Or the way he'd imagine clouds would feel if people could fall into a bed of them. Losing myself in that softness...

No one else's but his.

Damon cocked his head to the side showing her his teeth, hearing the flutter of prey's heart beat. What should be the knee jerk reaction to run seemed loss in her eyes. Not even a flinch, he smiled inwardly. She was like a wild tigress eagerly awaiting her next adventure. Lily was many things, strong amusing him the most. Her legs quivered as he parted them wider. A scent to die for rose up, the scent of her need and want swirled like a dizzy haze around him. Like a drug.

He began to move his hips enticing her hips to move in the same rhythm. Distantly, Damon remembered that Lily hardly felt these things with other people. Her limited experience seemed moot, for she simply melted into him like all the times before...like butter on a hot pan. She was an avid leader, but _damn_ she could follow a lead. The way she moved against him..._fuck_, he ground his teeth. Both of their sexes rubbed together, but he resisted entering her. His tip was there, ready, pissed at waiting. A soft coat of her wetness doused his head as he lingered, slightly probing her folds. "Say it, Lily."

That sick twisted part of him wanted her to beg. His head lingered on slightly moving in and out, around, then away. He kept repeating the motions until she'd say it.

Pleasure is best delivered with pain, Damon thought down at her. He grabbed at what hair he could in his left hand and tugged-just enough-just right. Her head whipped to the side with enough force to entice a gasp from her tiny form. "Remember how you used to shun me away, when I came for you. Now you can't resist me." He ground himself against her more firmly, head entering. Chills ran up his spine, "And I want you to _beg_ for me. I want to know you want me. We both know you do." He half smiled then, blue eyes intense on hers. Eyebrows lifted and fell several times as he waited. He wanted her to say it before he just took her. _Submit, dammit!_

Lily remembered precisely. When he'd first entered her life, a shadowy darkness and a lost girl among empty streets, she'd detested him. Back then she had been blind, until he'd given her blood; Shared it with her unwillingly. Then came the dreams, agonizing her in places she didn't know she had. How he relented on her, mocked and teased her within a fine hair of reason. Manipulation from a distance, Like he was under her skin, until she could nearly fall from want and hate. And nothing but his touch eased the need.

Just the thought of him coming, yelling and moaning, sating his lust inside her drove her over the edge. She wanted to see it, experience it, and love each moment of power it made her feel. She remembered his moans, his eyes when he was beyond joyful. Her body was so close already...

Her hunger would not be denied. "Please!" She begged now that there was nothing but need surging through her veins. Damon's smile was swift, his head but a blur as he descended on her throat with a hoarse growl. His entire sex plunged hard into her at the same time, jerking them up the bed. Her hair flung itself over half her face, as he lingered for a second. Then slowly, agonizingly, he pulled almost all the way out. A long howl of a moan escaped him followed by hers. His eyes were shut, she knew without seeing, his mouth healing the wound on her neck. All at once, he grabbed her ass and held her in place while his other hand kept her hands locked above her head. Three heavy breath escaped him, the pleasure nearly over riding him, and struck once more. Her hands came free.

A scream echoed from her lungs and against the walls. Lily cried out, "Yesssss." Her nails dug into his shoulder, body trembling profusely. He'd surged forward again, skin smacking hard and bit again into her throat once more. A rip tide of sensations erupted, her walls began to milk his sex.

She came. _Hard_. Over and over as he pounded her soft flesh. His body slick with sweat slid along hers, pining her, over powering her thrashing body. Each thrust meeting her ever clench. It was heaven.

Both his hands came up to hold both of hers as he watched her orgasm around him. Each expression of his changed; satisfaction, determination, and awe. He couldn't hold off much longer. Not after seeing _her _like _that. "Fuck..._me_", _Damon cursed aloud eyebrows rising_. _Letting his upper body rise up, and letting her go, Damon looked down at his beauty.

Again he started, but much slower now. He wanted to watch her, kiss her, lover her. She muttered his name again, and he paused gaining control.

"Come inside me." She said softly squeezing herself around him. His eyes shut tight trying to restrain, but the urge had surpassed control. Fisting his hands on the side of the bed, near her ribs, Damon glared down at her. He wanted this to go on longer. This time he moved accelerated, and gentle, still within a rhythm.

Their eyes locked, intimately, and her desire took complete control over her features. Gorgeous was too small a word. Years he'd desired to see that face at his whim. Her breathing hitched again and it was his undoing. _Fuck_ she's going to come again, he thought bewildered. With a loud grunt Damon buried himself as hard and deep as she was, letting himself come with her. Her cries were muffled by the mattress, his arm, anything. It just went on for so _long_...

He took it in; Her arched back, the shape of her neck, the sway of perfect round taunt breasts, and perky nipples. Those hips-by god how they rose up to meet his, legs wide open...hands gripping his bicep...He emptied everything he had into her, then fell on her once more.

Lost within the moment, a door slammed open two rooms over. It bounced off the wall, but didn't close like most doors. He waited, but it remained open. Heart sinking, he let Lily go and remained intent on the sounds. Jerking his head away, Damon's eyes remained veiny and blood-ridden as he listened intently. Blood still coated his lips, and he remained poised in a silent snarl. He'd waited forever for this moment, who the _fuck_ was that? He'd rip them to shreds...

You learn a thing or two about sounds when you are on the run, Lily thought to herself. He obviously heard something she did not. It reminded her of the times she'd run from him, and how he always managed to find her. Now John, the werewolf that seemed to have a large hard on for Damon's head, was after him. Especially since he'd assume Lily was close. She mouthed at him, _we need to separate._

Damon _did_ kill many of his kind, Lily's head reminded her. Just because someone changed didn't mean those who he hurt would easily forgive. Well Klaus had ordered it...John was excessively powerful, one in their original family of the Cursed. Oh hell, she thought slapping her forehead. Not this bullshit again. Mythology...seriously. What asshat came up with this complicated crap anyway?

Sensing her movement, Damon watched Lily attentively. There was nothing they could do to depart here unnoticed. The window was adjacent to the emergency stairway as was the other apartment. He'd capture Lily if he didn't follow Damon...and he knew Damon would come for her. Lily wouldn't be able to get far enough away so he could evaporate. Killing Klaus..._that_ had freed him, but they were still perplexed with this annoying crux of difficulty they shared. He wanted to conquer Lily, not complicate things. Each time he got close, something always came up. Whenever they got close, he'd automatically materialize. They hadn't quite figured out what the hell it was causing that. It was a nice trick to gain surprise on an enemy, but not if she was close.

He'd gotten under her skin though, and he liked that aspect. Can't sneak up on her as easily, but it sure kept things lively. And a challenge.

Damon brought her close and kissed her forehead as he enveloped her in his arms. He held her to his chest, remembering the _first_ time he'd held her. Before all the bullshit. She didn't know he'd saved her life. She didn't know the half of the things he'd done for her starting with her birth. She didn't even know who she was. The man rummaging throughout the other apartment was becoming infuriated, Damon noticed, and let her go. Wolves could smell acutely way better than vampires. He'd smell the sex soon.

He pushed her chin up to meet her eyes. There was only one way out of here, but it required a helluva lot of power. Would it work?_ Lily_, his mind reached for hers. They'd Shared twice before, and the link remained, though weak. He was surprised it was even still there-it'd been so long. Perhaps tasting her blood allowed it?

Her eyes widened, but she nodded uncomfortably.

_We have to Share_..._I need to get us out of here unnoticed-in the shadows._

He could see her mind recoil at the thought of such a thing. While she'd give him control-that was asking too much. As she shook her head in objection, John's hoarse yell seeped through the wall. Lily paled considerably.

_I'll do it on the wrist_, he offered her, _it's the first one not the second._ Time was up-John was outside probably deciding on where to strike next. _I could take him, I mean I've taken the Others before..._

Lily had few options. Risk a more permanent link with him, or try the escape? He offered her the first step...and not the second they'd already taken. But it was just too much to trust him with. After all he'd been, and done to her. Lily's mind ran over tonight's action's and she inwardly cursed herself. Fuck! No matter what I do...I get myself in these dumb ass situations with him, she thought abhorrently. Her eyes roamed over him and a jolt ran through her body. Oh yes, THAT. Quickly she moved off the bed, and began to dress. After she finished, she tossed him his clothes without looking at him.

His face fell. God _dammit_, John! Damon nearly bit out.

My weakness is for the things he makes me feel, she was thinking. Shit, shit, shit. Thinking back, she'd never wanted anything or anyone as bad. That's just how fucked up things had gotten. My view is all screwed. What if he lost control...

Quickly, Lily dunked under bed and grabbed her 'on the run bag' that she'd made years ago as she'd moved from place to place. Inside was everything she'd need to start over-for the most part. When her head came up from under the bed, Damon's eyes were reserved. She pointed to the blinds, which he then moved to close. She was going to make a run for it, and Damon would hold him off if need be. Once she was far enough, he'd dissipate as desired. But they both knew such a thing would be tricky. Wolves never traveled alone-hardly. He was a hunter, preferred alone, but his pack mates were never far from their leader. They'd be waiting for her...and she'd have to outrun supernatural creatures and hide.

Seemed history was catching up to him again. He ignored his body's protest, his groins agonizing pain, and held a finger up mid air. _Hold still_. If only I could toss her up against the wall and get it done again... He faced away from Lily, who stood at the window just as immediately as he'd stilled her. One time was not nearly enough. Does a starved man eat only one bite of food at a banquet?

Not 20 years ago, John had been on his tale. Too close for comfort, Damon thought as he blurred into motion. Their eyes met as they heard someone sifting through another neighbors apartment, through the wall. As Lily looked around, she noted there was no where for her to run but the stair way. Too close, her mind muttered. THIS is why being so close was bad for either of them. Wait till he moves to the hall, she trained her head. Patience, wait, and act.

She knew better, but she couldn't seem to grip reality anymore. It was all the death. If he died, so would she. And I am_ not_ ready to die, Lily thought to herself. I got shit to do, a life to live...I'm just tied to a murderous bastard who draws me in. Ok, ok, he's not ass murderous.

She eyed the bed with a degree of guilt then. How many damn times am I going to tempt fate? He figures me out, and for _fuck sake_, makes me feel shit I don't want to. Almost always only him. She squirmed at the longing still deeply rooted in her core. She shook her head and unlocked the window.

I need to run, she thought panicked. This was the old me, her mind was clearing. I need to adapt, take what I know. That dark place, where it was cold deep inside rose then. Damon, if he were human staring into her eyes, would have been frozen with ice. Her glance was just that...wrong.

Footsteps stood still, and she was poised ready to jump. John was listening, probably more acutely than Damon's hearing. He had speed over the wolf, but the wolf had brute strength. Both were lethal, and Lily trusted in Damon's skill. John was-_old_ though-older than Klaus. _I hope you got some mad ass skills there Damon_, she mouthed.

He smirked knowing her. He mouthed back at her, _until next time... _and turned towards the door.

The door knob wobbled.

Bring it, she grumbled inwardly. A sinister smile roamed her face then. With good comes bad, and its time to drop into another version of me. Lily laughed inwardly, and thought up one of her 'fake' personalities. Being on the run taught you how to **be** an alias, not just have a name as one. Time to blend, and she found one. Me, the version that doesn't hurt to exists, and one part that kicks ass, her smile was large against the window and Damon shook his head.

He'd seen her do this before. Block everyone and everything out and fade into 'someone' else. Block the pain and fear of events and basically, turn her own switch off. He knew he'd lost her for now and it only grated him more. Back to dangerous Damon and dominate cold Lily. Damon did not thrill himself on breaking her down, but that's what it took. He'd have to play the game if he wanted to get close to her again. Two sides Damon, he thought to himself. All ancients have to find their way. I just wish she could know what she is, he thought bitterly.

She murmured at the door, "Want to play jungle little puppy?." I _came_ from the jungle. I napped with great cats and snakes as a child, and none of them ever hurt me. Her bitter laugh only told half the story. That was where it began. Her parents had left her to die in the middle of nowhere. Some natives found her, cared for her, but they too shunned her after time. Hell, they even blinded the poor toddler.

Damon remembered when he'd found her near death and cursed himself. He'd almost lost his meal ticket. Part of this was his fault. She didn't want to be weak, but she would be overly strong. Her concern over their tryst only confirmed that he still had to work to earn her trust.

She felt no fear rise now that she was back to herself. They were afraid when they looked into my eyes just as uneasy as Damon was looking at me. Fierce dominance rose within her then, feeling the natural coil of strength she'd enjoyed-she knew. Years and experience worth of self resurfaced. I may be a weak bored human, but you'll never out maneuver me, she thought. Wolves were her thing too-werewolves not being too different. That is why people hated her. She as good at everything. Damon was equally good at things.

Her own tribe had called the her the spirit of death, she that walks with the dead, or something like that. They'd left her to rot and die over superstition. But he never left her. Alone. Wet away. Ever. Even when she wished he would.

Mmm, Damon. Like a wild panther awaiting a fight. It made her rather proud that such a man had brought down her walls. Her smile veered off to him and she winked, "Later, lover." Animals were her thing, something she understood just like people. Its why she made a great profiler. Language without words. Never show your weakness. With that, Lily jarred open the window, and jumped straight out.

Damon shook his head having missed yet another chance at Lily, warm inviting _vulnerable_ Lily who was fast becoming lost to the stronger side of her nature. Just like Tatia. Just like Katherine. Next time indeed, he thought, as John kicked the door in. They eyed one another for a moment. "You again."

Damon started mentally counting. Usually Lily could get out of range in 10-20 seconds flat.

"Murderer." John was tall, trench coat hiding his over built body. Like a stereotypical biker-but with hair. Muscled like a wrestler, no one messed with John. The man's head was a bit too shiny for Damon's taste. "Where is the girl?"

"She just dropped in and out." Damon licked his lips thinking about the way she looked beneath him earlier. "Too bad...you missed a great scene."

John twitched with rage, his face taunt, naturally smelling the air. "Smug bastard. I suppose you get off on leading innocent females astray."

Damon made a face. "I believe you're doing a much better job of that. Back off."4,5,6...

"I'd rather take you back and let them decide. The families you tore apart." John began a slow dance with Damon.

"And really...that's all? Hadn't you heard, I turned over a new leaf?"8,9,10...

"You'll do nothing but destroy her, Damon. Just like everything you touch. Just like Elena."

"_Lily_ is nothing like Elena, but you're looking a little thick headed there. Elena was not my fault either. In any way. Think you know Lily?, and you have no idea. I suppose you see women as all the same. No wonder she doesn't like you. Or it's the fact she knows you'll willingly sacrifice her to kill me. Tsk tsk big man. Not a way to win a lady over." 15,16,17...

John launched himself at Damon with all the force he owned.


	5. Chapter 3

_A/n: Thanks for the feedback as always. Please share this with friends if you enjoy. I am maddpappy on twitter  
_

_This time we will see how this all began in the first flashback of their encounter. Lily is fifteen, poor, and living with a guy called Khali. He is acting as a brother/boyfriend for her, takes care of her, and saved her life many years ago. I am working some present day technology ideas that won't sound dumb so I have to go the route of a FB for two chapters. Part 2 will be Damon /Lily first bite then on to the present time. It will be the first time she feels something and the first time he disobeys a direct order :P_

_5 years ago_

"A sixth sense"

From Lily's P.O.V

Wind ripped through my hair with its bitter coldness and ruthless bite. Voices chattered just out of reach behind the glass of the small diner. My hands were so cold that they literally stung, and I dug them deep into the only sweater I had. Being poor had its downfalls. Freezing was defiantly one of them.

Khali, not related by blood, was still like my family member. He carefully held the door open for me and lead me through. The tinkering bell signaled people to cover up as the gust of wind blasted through the diner at our entrance. Once through, the door screeched shut and he rubbed his hands and blew his warm breath into them over his mouth.

I mimicked the action though I couldn't see him do it, feeling welcoming warmth fill my limbs. Next, he led me to a table where he ushered me into a booth and sat next to me. The seat had holes, was slightly uncomfortable, but it would do. Everyday this week I'd felt awkward, like eyes were baring into my back. Da, hell? It always happened this time of year for me.

Khali had me beat in age by a good five years, and he cared for me since we were young. There was no one else-just us now as it had been for years. His skin was a dark tan, his hair brown-black, and his stature was at least a good six feet to my five six. The only thing I detested was his current job interest-the underground black market of moving, buying, and selling of 'magic based' items. For real? Witches had enemies...mages. Similar but not.

He was not aware I noticed, but being blind as I had become at the age of three, didn't mean I was stupid. In fact, there were times I wondered if I saw more than the average person ever would. Currently I was just shy of a mere sixteen, too tiny from lack of food, but I knew I presented myself as older. I had to-to keep up appearances in our strange ages and looks. Most times he could pass as a boyfriend or something. Gag, I laughed slightly at the thought. Either it was because I was blind, or maybe I just wasn't wired right...I'd never _felt_ that way towards anyone.

Boyfriend, seriously.

I mean how would it look, a pale blind girl related to a dark-tan skinned man? There was no real other choice in this relationship we had. It was hard enough to explain, less another red flag separate us. I knew he'd never let that happen. My mind wandered then and I allowed myself to flow through thoughts to pass the time as I shivered against him. I remembered his eyes, but nothing else. How I missed the world I could see things in.

The Pale One as they said, that was me. Whispers were like regular voice tones to me. I could hear them now remarking about the strange pair that had sat not so far from them. Skin and hair often got me jokes like 'doll' or 'glow in the dark'. How original right? It was hard to remember what people looked like. Some days I just wanted a poll so I could whack them over the head with it. Pinata. I didn't go to school, but that seemed a bit too obvious even for my taste. Did no one have a creative insult? See, if I can literally insult myself _ten different_ and better ways then you...that was sad. Of course I said nothing, and I would sigh. Some day though, I was just itching to.

OK, I was so pale I sort of glowed per what Khali said. It wasn't my skin though. Maybe it was my vibrant personality? Yeah righttttt. If it was anything how a white t-shirt looked under a black light I'd cry. I'd heard a description and all, but no visual. I just didn't want to get laughed at or be the brunt of more jokes. Good thing I can't see. Life goes on, and so did I even if I can't ever see again. No point being miserable eh? One thing I will always miss is the way the fire lights across a morning sky just as dawn breaks. But things are what they are. No point being upset and having the poor me attitude.

Again I shivered, and he pulled me in closer while pulling a curl of hair from my eyes. My hair was nearly black, my eyes a weird looking blue. I covered with whatever Khali could get me so I didn't stand out as much. Contacts, hair dye, oversized clothes… Course the jokes stopped when they learned I was blind, but all the same I wanted some contacts already. Imagine trying to put them in-hell finding them on the counter...

I think my hair was just shy of my shoulders now. Most days I hid it under a cap of some type. I looked tiny when I wasn't hiding in layers of clothes. I looked almost Icelandic in Khali's opinion, which was silly considering I was half and half. My mixed heritage was hard to discern. People had no concept of color then, for I remember myself as I had once been. Still, the topic made my mind wander further.

I'd always wondered about my parents to some extend.

In some ways my being mixed got me shuns as much as color is to racism. I was half Asian and probably half white. It seemed I had many of the recessive traits, which was odd since some are usually more dominant than the other. Perplexities. Khali said it was an exotic look, which is why I hid under clothes and caps. Screw that.

This brings me back to my 'heritage' that just confounded me. How the hell did I end up anywhere near Khali and his people? Khali says he thinks I was adopted and brought to his country. He remembers the tribe finding me as a baby, and no signs of parents. They took me in, but it got a little crazy. That's how he'd saved my life. At least I was taller now. Five six is not petite, like he says I am,…but I digress. My head shook in response to my thoughts and I felt his eyes on me. Khali saved me, and we'd been together since. He'd earned my love.

And I loved him fiercely enough to kill someone if they hurt him.

Even now as we sit here I am sure people are looking, wondering, 'what's with those two'. I can still feel their gazes penetrate my blindness like a thousand knives, and all I want is to shrivel into myself and disappear. I do not like this world with its noise and sirens. I miss the silence and the woods. I'm feeling a bit at odds with this place, but I cannot place it.

So blindness comes in handy. Khali and I have a joke where he is the nurse and I the patient. Some ask why I don't use a dog, and I simply say I want a person to read for me, take me grocery shopping, and things a dog can't do. Or I say the dog is home resting. We don't have a dog or food right now. Animals…I love animals though. That reminds me of the woods again. Ahhhh.

To hunt something...I missed feeling at home, one with earth, thankful to earn a life. Sad to end a life to keep mine going but I never starved. Women, we used to make everything. It was great...well until it became to hard to see.

I was suffering from vision loss after the attempt on my life, and I could no longer see anything beyond simple shadows by age nine. Uselessness had started that whole crazy attack. Now it was truly gone; the day I woke up to darkness haunts me still. It's like someone stripped me naked and I've hid ever since. My life consists of steps, counting, and a ton of pain. I knock stuff over all the time. Some days I could writ e a scroll of curse words...

"Where's the bitch," he said in a muffled tone. Khali had no patience, especially at diners.

"Hold your panties from bunchin', there. Give her ten steps and she'll be here. Well," I laughed short, "if she stops that is." I wiggled some eyebrows.

"Arrrr." He ranted on. "You said that wrong, by the way."

"Kiss my ass. Got that one down, don't I?"

"Trash talker." I could hear his smile, and I smiled too.

My eyes were blue to his brown, and his friends often remarked about me when they thought I couldn't hear. Blind people have much better hearing than regular people, so jokes on them. My eyes were a big topic. They looked normal on the outside-no fog or discoloration. It's very hard to get color contacts these days. They were just very-blue-another thing I wanted to hide. There has been a movement starting to keep such simple things from the hands of vampires though. _1,2,3._

For Christ sake its like some Anne Rice novel out here. Apparently some witch named Bonnie cast a baddass spell on the undead. It made their eyes kind of...glow like a cats at night. Like a deer in headlights. She was the talk of the town a few years ago. Now...stupid crap such as contacts were not easily accessible. Vamps had to hide so they tried using them. _4,5,6._

Soon they were going to DNA profile people to their blood. Screw finger prints. It was like some bad sci-fi book and it creeped us out. Oh, and the 'end of age people' were ballistic. Seriously. Not such hype since the Mayan calender bullshit. I half expected to get that bible scanning bullshit on me in a few years. Hell, if that happened I was out of town. Eh, That was mean. I kind of said a silent sorry to God on that one. It was like Stephen King, though. _7,8,9..._

The waitress snapped me out of my horrid memories, "Y'all want some coffee?" Ding,_ TEN_! I found Khali's leg under the table and kicked him.

Head shaking he said, "Yes, that will be good. Two please." Khali sounded pleasant, his voice light and hearty. I knew from recent experience that he had a job going down that would finally bring in some good money.

Frankly we were bordering on starving, but was it worth the risk? He shifted in the booth leaning to one side, and a pile of change clattered on the plastic surface. Cringing, I sat back annoyed at the loudness. Headaches were so easy to get.

Moments later, the diner seemed too loud in volume as more people came inside to warm up. Listening to the voices around me, it had started to snow. I've never really seen it snow before. These are the simple things I missed.

The waitress stopped by to drop off the coffees, and her breathing changed to that of annoyance as well. Probably sighting the pile of change, I voiced up, "Khali can you pass me the coffee I don't want to knock it over."

This caught us a pause and I knew the exact moment that she became aware of my blindness. I faked a fumbling around look and it had worked. I didn't need to much help. A few clicking sounds, or hearing the way things bounced off objects helped me find things. Speaking up was a way for me to avoid prissy chat and a drop in Khali's mood. And let me say, he was overly moody doing this line of work. I think he needed a tampon or something.

Normally I didn't care, but today, for whatever reason I just wanted it to be good. Not sure if my expression showed my emotions, I felt Khali hug me with one arm for added warmth and the waitress took the change and walked off. I leaned my head on his broad shoulder enjoying the closeness. Tonight would suck at home in the cold.

Half the time he was gone and I was left home. Books had taught me more than a school would, and my gifted mind gave me the rest. T.V helped but there were way, way, too many commercials. First it was higher than the damn show, then laws changed, and the show was to damn low. So many I wanted to shoot myself sometimes. What would it be like to read a book not in brail?

I did ponder what I'd do if something ever happened to him. And things like social security with old age, a job, a high school diploma were always on my mind like now. In the end, being just shy of sleeping on concrete I didn't expect us to get that far. I could let fear rule me or I could deal.

Shelters have been stuffed full since winter began. We were stuck especially in the criminal atmosphere he'd placed us in. Despite it all he was a good man, and a good man to me. Meaning well was all we had. He was a brother, a father and my only friend.

My jeans rubbed against his, both our sweaters coated us in extra warmth. A sense of dread filled me for some reason then, and I turned my head in the general direction. It was if someone was staring at me, and the small hairs on the back of my neck stood. Why I turned my head was a mere reflex. Khali noted my stillness and looked the way I was facing.

"What is it?" He asked slowly.

"I don't know exactly," I responded to him. "It's like someone is _watching_ me."

Next his leg began to shake back and forth, a sign he was nervous, and I shimmied away a bit. It was overload for me in a room with so many people.

Khali also stilled then, "you have a good sense about things, but I don't see anyone."

"Your leg was going nuts…" After a moment of looking over me out the window, he seemed to conclude we were not in any immediate danger. I chuckled at his caution.

"Ah. Yeah. Sorry 'bout that." Sometimes he put too much faith in my gut feeling, and gave too much power in his own paranoia. Running expensive and exotic items did that to you. At least it wasn't drug trafficking. Maybe…? I'd _find_ a way t kick his ass...

"It's like that damn red rose you get _every_ year at Halloween. It creeps me out. Person never shows up, never says anything, and just leaves it BAM-right there." I jumped when he'd smacked his hands at BAM. "C'mon, we gotta go. Gotta get you home and meet the guys."

"My coffee…" I interjected with a tad of minuet hostility. He was always in a rush and wasteful. "Look at me... this skinny. Don't you dare take me from my coffee."

"Lily, you're beyond beautiful. Shut it." I listened as he adjusted himself. I hated those kinds of comments. You think being ugly is hard? What if all people saw was your looks. And you never felt anything either way. Maybe I did need a tampon, I reminded myself to shut up. It was moot once they learned I was blind. Then everyone felt sorry for me, spoke to loud or asked me if I needed help. No I don't. I'll ask thanks.

Khali slid out of the booth and took my hand to help me out. People headed towards the booth to reserve it before it was even cleaned, their footsteps rushing between bodies and tables. He hated that and snorted at them as they passed by us. A gust flashed by my face. I halted afraid I was going to get hit there for a second.

"People are always in a rush...," I voiced.

"I waved to the waitress, she's bringing us some cups, ghost." His body shook with the turning of his head that happened by habit, "Sorry I called you ghost again." No he wasn't, **asshole**.

He wasn't sorry at all. In fact he loved calling me that for some godforsaken reason. Better be damn lucky I have my coffee, I was muttering in my head. Coffee in hands, we walked out the door and were hit by a massive wind gust. He wanted to get a rise outta me, but I remained silent. I was literally going to freeze my ass off. I liked being able to control my temper. Made him have to try harder anyway.

"You promised not to call me that anymore." Arm and arm we walked through the bitter cold towards the hole in the wall that we rented.

"Geesh, it hasn't been this cold in a long time." Khali nearly walked me into a wall with his weight trying to keep warm. I shoved him and he playfully laughed. That laugh was deep and resonated against the brick wall as we passed. "It's unnatural for Florida."

Indeed, it has never been so damn cold here. It was the land of love bugs, flip flops, beer and beach. And why is it always a record this and a record that, on the news? I get it's normally a hot place, but do we need to know that? Anyone in his right mind can tell this ain't your normal stuff. Snow-Florida-what the hell? Meteorologist-getting paid to fuck up the weather, and your attire. Hmmm...I could see it head line. No, really.

One of these days I am going to mess up, be overly sarcastic aloud, and get smacked, I scolded myself. I was a bit too sharp indeed. I was so damn hungry.

In fact it was so cold flurries were dropping from the sky in small amounts, and the diminutive amount gathered on the concrete silenced our footsteps. We stopped and reached the door and I heard keys fumble until he finally worked the lock. Doors love to stick on nights like this.

Downtown often had its apartments upstairs from businesses, and they were some of the cheaper ones due to the rats and smell of the restaurants. This was not a prime place to live as it once had been.

The apartment reeked of stale pizza as he led me to the bedroom. "Need anything-bathroom- water, before I put on the TV?"

I shook my head as no, and he sat me on the bed and turned on the old TV. It got like one channel now. A blanket was tossed over me seconds later.

"Someday Lily, we'll be better off."

"I know." I hated my name as much as I hated the hand we were dealt. Hating things never got people places so I once again tried to clear my mind of it. I shunned the emotion stomping it from my head and heart. It was nearing the end of October. Wouldn't surprise me if red rose showed up soon. What did it mean? Was it why I was so cranky-aside hunger?

I mean, who the fuck did that? Maybe that's why we were so edgy. No matter where we went, or what happened, there it was on Halloween. Every damn year. And the eye thing...feeling watched...same thing.

Who named their kid Lily anyway? I sounded like some dead plant that someone forgot to give water too. It was like the name "Summer' or "Autumn'. Did it not make it any worse that I was pale as an icicle? He patted my back and shuffled out as fast as we had entered. No progress on the 'ghost' matter. Great another night alone in a hole, somewhere down town with a TV with one channel that was infomercials.

It could always be worse. Right? Sometimes I doubted it. My stomach coiled with pain, and hunger rose.

* * *

It was well into the night before he arrived home. I made no move to signal I was awake, contradictory to most nights I'd at least say hi. Something felt odd though, the moment he entered the room it was if a statically charged wave of energy preceded him. My back literally itched with the intensity of the sensation, but for the life of me I had no idea what he was doing.

Placing whatever object he had under the bed, Khali seemed pretty adamant that it should remain a mystery. After all was said and done I heard him pace, then footsteps followed closely to my bedside. He was in front of me, probably making sure I was asleep, and then I felt the thin sheet cover my shoulders. Even in his anxious movements, he'd taken the time to be tender. In our hard life, we were all we had, and I smiled inside.

After about two hours and a six pack of beer later, Khali finally decided to sleep. While this was probably good for him, it made the silence of the night defining. Except for whatever was clacking around in that box. It was one of those times you just want to toss a shoe at something because you were so tired and couldn't sleep. WHERE WERE THE DAMN SHEEP? Regardless of how hard I tried to tune it out, there was just no hope. There weren't enough damn sheep to count in a century. I'm cold, hungry and tired.

Whoa to he who bother thee.

* * *

The next morning it was all I could do to sit still. With the passing of the hour I got into the shower counting the steps from the bed to the hall. Once I found the shower, and I lingered under the hot water. If I could simply burn out the sleepiness…After some time I heard a knock, probably Khali needing to relieve himself, and I finished up. After I was covered I opened the door and he rushed in. It never ceased to amaze me, how much his bladder could hold. I counted to 30 and he still peed. Christ.

More clacking sound from under the bed…

"Hey", Khali's voice zoned me back to the land of the living, "I have to step out. Stay home for now and I'll be back soon."

I waved him off as if that were normal. Where did he expect me to go? Really? Man, I'm grouchy.

Sensing this he paused, "What's wrong?" he asked me noticing my demeanor. "Sorry I forget sometimes about stuff like that."

"Well', I started then stopped. I finished with a simple excuse, "I didn't sleep well, sorry."

I felt his gaze through the wall of blindness, "you sure?" He knew me better but my silence was all he could go by. He was just that type of guy…if he asked you a question and you evaded, it was on you.

I nodded uneasy but managed a smile. If anything I wanted to get away from that thing under the bed. There were things like intuition and that thing gave me a very intense bad feeling this day wasn't going to end well. He fixed up some food, his clothes and items and rushed out the door. No doubt to arrange to meet the buyer. Speaking of…my mind became curious about that box.

I had an idea for how things looked based on touch. There was that uneasy feeling I had, yet I still wandered over to the bed, and slid down on my knees to fetch the box. Nervously my hands shook as I unveiled it, lifted the lid and hovered my hand over the vibrating mass. What could it be? I dipped my clumsy hand into the box never once realizing it would be the worst mistake of my life.

Hours had passed, as I gathered from the chiming of a neighbor's grandfather clock. It was now six pm, and Khali hadn't returned home. If this was his idea of 'I'll be right back'…but maybe something had gone wrong. Then it hit me, and I raise my arm with a new sense of heaviness.

Whatever the object was, it was pulsating on my arm now, but it seemed smaller.

Rising up on my palms from the floor, I felt a nice breeze cool off my back. I touched my right wrist, and indeed a small bracelet was now there. The object I had picked up out of the box has been larger, cold like silver, heavy like iron. Carefully I moved to feel for the interlock chain, and sat up more alert. Surely I hadn't put this on myself? Yet the more I felt around, the more uneasy I became…there seemed to be no end to the encircled piece.

He'll kill me if I don't get this off before he comes home, I thought. I worked for a good ten minutes to no avail. A large explosion down the street, consisting of screaming metal as it clashed with concrete and brick, had me on my feet immediately. What in the world…my mind raced though a dozen scenario's. Gunshots now-a riot perhaps?

Fear rocketed though me. These were the times it was not good to be alone, and blind, and fifteen. Silently I wished Khali home…then the door busted open. I shrieked, "Thank god!"

Khali's voice roared at me. "We gotta go."

"Now?" I yelled over the sounds blasting down the street.

"Oh yes, shits hit the fan-what is that?" he stopped mid stride.

"Ah-what?"

"The bracelet…" he sounded stern and I knew I was about to get yelled at.

"Oh yeah-", I started but he yanked me forward.

"God dammit! Get it off…here," he said rushed and I felt a jacket tossed at my upper body.

"Grab shoes. I'm serious something big is going down out there and I don't want to be here."

I listened and urgently searched for my shoes. I grabbed the closet pair before I was whisked up and we were on our way. I hardly expected that sweat pants, a t-shirt and a crappy jacket were going to keep me warm later tonight. But before I knew it we were hauling down the stairs at the rate of a train.

"You have any idea what's going on?" I shouted breathlessly.

"Yeah an idea." He huffed back at me. A second later we rounded a corner so fast I felt the centripetal force as I came around to land at his back. His hand never left my wrist as I made the wide swing that sent my hair flaring in the breeze.

"Guff" I muttered as I hit the force of his body. He was insanely wearing jeans and a t-shirt in thirty degree weather. This close I smelled metallic in the air. I knew then he was badly hurt, and at the least bleeding excessively.

"Dammit!" he muttered and turned to me. He found my right arm and looked at the bracelet turning my arm side to side.

"Ouch", I complained but he pulled me closer.

"What the f-…dammit where the hell is the clasp thingy?"

I made an 'I dunno face', and my arm was tossed back down at me as if I were diseased.

"Great! Just frickin great. That is gonna stand out on you." Great now he was referencing my light skin. "cover it up."

"You don't have to be an ass," I yelled. Rubbing my wrist that now throbbed on so many levels, I covered it the best I could and waited.

"No?" he yelled in my face. "Those people are after that thing, and we can't get it off you! I mean," he yelled on breath in my face, "what were you thinking?"

Now I was afraid. "Why?" I asked but met silence. "You stole it? C'mon you promised-"  
"I know! We need the money-", he yelled back at me.

Tears filled my eyes, "what is it?" he had lied again.

"I don't know." He said with frustration and fear. "Look I need to get us out of here. Word gets around fast with things that are this expensive. I underestimated it. Everything," I heard his hand cover his face. "Who can I go to," he whispered to himself running a list of names. In this industry, people ratted you out for the bigger buck. I shivered in the freezing cold.

* * *

Klaus stood watching this phone clock growing more agitated by the moment. The boy was supposed to be here an hour ago with the piece. Some rare and ancient artifact he remembered that Tatia had previously owned.

He hated waiting.

Elena's time was drawing to an end and he needed it. About now she'd reach her eighties if she were still mortal. He had to change her back, had to get her blood or have her bare at least one child...

He needed that army and he needed it now. Humans were out numbering them, and coming up with new improved ways of making life hell. Money wasn't even an option to use anymore. The only way to summon Tatia was with something that belonged to her. Something had been off with the girl he'd once loved. In old text, he learned that there was a older race that predated humans. Or lived with them. Not much was easy to find on it, but this was clear. This object would get her to tell him how to do what he needed.

His phone rang, a quick blip about the boy on the go. He slammed it down.

Calling his pet then, evil smirk brimming on his lips. "Come forth, Damon. I have a task for you."

A dark mist began to form at his feet then. Darkness that was enveloped in the shadows of nearby things dimmed and his shape came forth. Magnificent, he considered his pet.

"Master," a voice hissed. It seethed rage, and bit out words with its hunger.

Good, I like _It_ hungry, Klaus thought bemused. He couldn't hide a half witted smirk on his face before growing more serious. "Find me this object," he held up his phone with an image. "Kill whoever has it ad bring it to me."

* * *

to be continued in flash back part 2 (got long sorry).


	6. Chapter 4

_Kill_.

It had been ordered to fetch something for the Master. Ah form, how long it had been. Or had it been long? Time seemed to collide within It's memories. The creature withered within the catacombs of stone-limestone. The stench was reason enough not to breathe, but had to. A few heart beats a day circulated the blood and oxygen with which they fed. They gained power this way as well. The rest was turned into raw power.

Metaphysics.

It mused, as It listened on in the dark of its home. The Master was not too far, but he commanded It with such force, It had to obey. All It could wonder at was the need to feed. Sometimes It wondered if the Master starved It as to make sure his orders were met. The few free moments where Its mind was free from Its masters hold...they were truly divine. By the time enough strength to resist, he would recapture control.

It almost always drained its victims. If they ever lived-they tended to die from Its bite. Never fully understanding this, it simply never mattered. It couldn't control the desire to feed to the point of death when It was so starved. Then began the same cycle of starvation after feeding, such as Klaus tormented him with, time after time. There always was the repetition his Master indulged in at the shadows expense.

Torturous as it was, It endeavored to dream of freedom. Eager to obey and feed, then left to wallow in this hole. So many holes and so many places to welter alone only made the time pass slower. Nothing but a shadowy dust fog, a bane existence of wraith and power on someone else's leash, was life. It never gave the master satisfaction of begging for freedom, nor food, or comfort. No one knew It existed, just rumors of a maddening killing assassin braved the crowds.

He was his Masters enforcer.

Humanity had become smart changing things, making it more difficult with money and compulsion. Even daylight rings had to be hidden. Some witches had fallen into darkness shunned from their precious nature. Many had taken up with the darker of sides…willingly becoming 'mages'. It was within the dark that their spells had meaning again. Rather than finding peace within nature, they used the energy of the earth…in stones. In storms. In places of power. Places that held raw energy that was already there.

Now it was about shadow magic, death magic…blood magic.

And vampires…they'd changed as well. It was all about the blood, what was in the blood, the taste of blood and the flavor of long lost emotions. The way blood and DNA mixed, the way the virus, as humans called it, was placed on willing seduced souls. If they only knew what awaited them. This was the mission of the Darkness as old as was time. A hollow existence, forced to live alone, continually wanting and craving that which you can no longer have...even scientist thought they had it down to an art. People like Meredith Fell who thought she could expose them.

The woman who'd given Elena his blood. The last creature he'd ever…had made. His blood.

An image popped into Its head. A bracelet, old, almost iron like in its age. Another of a young man who looked Middle Eastern. _Get this and bring it back_, the Master sent him. _Kill who ever has it. Feed. Return to me with it. _And so the darkness grew and set out to do the Masters bidding.

* * *

Lily stood outside near the cemented wall where the water rushed onto it smacking every now and then. As Khali went inside to ask an owed favor from his friend, something about the whole thing set her uneasy. Arm itching, she tugged under her long sleeve, and she switched foot to foot. Her jeans held out the cold, but she was positively bone achingly cold. It was 36 degrees in downtown West Palm Beach Florida. Try as she might, Lily was becoming too cold to stand here.

Ah! She thought to herself. I hate being blind. Seriously, this is the worse place to be. What the fuck, Khali? You take me out with _no_ jacket and make me stand in the frickin cold, she yelled at him from her brain. Water crashed along the cement again and she shivered as tiny droplets landed on her.

Trying to stray her mind, Lily thought. She wished she could see the lights that the city offered. So many people loved to remark about driving by down town from I-95. Of course it was alongside the complaining that either the city or highways were always under construction.

A chill ran down her back then. **THAT** chill, the one she never told anyone about. Although Lily was blind, she seemed to have a knack for sensing things. Sometimes, if the feeling was intense, she could see what reminded her of colors behind her lids. It was this uncanny type of thing…as if she could make out images…

Then a large slam from not so far away broke her revere. Brisk footsteps thumped towards her, and an arm gripped hers. "Sonofabitch." Khali mumbled.

"Why? What now?" Lily asked as he pulled her aside.

"Damn you're cold." He pulled off one of his jackets and put it over her shoulders. She visibly relaxed some. Her teeth still chattered, and she leaned into him. This was the only family they'd known. Again on the run, when did it ever end?

"No shit Sherlock. Uh...can we go? I have a very _intense_ bad feeling."

"Why?" he asked irritated still.

His voice had an edge to it that she rarely heard. Almost panicked, Khali looked down at her, and she seemed so little. Innocent. He pulled a stray hair out of her face. "Not yet. I need to think." What he really should be thinking about was where to take them. Instead he found himself drawn to her mouth. She really had no idea how beautiful she had started to become. Like overnight...She had lovely creamy skin-pale, black Asian hair, mixed eyes that defied any cover girls dream. And eyes that literally popped from her face. Shear blue crystals-cerulean blue.

Khali, she's not even sixteen yet….his mind screamed. You're twenty four, get passed it.

And she would be killed if he couldn't get that damn thing off her. He knew that it had begun. He was forty minutes late for the drop off of this artifact, and he'd just learned the Dark Ones were after it too. Some big guy, the word was, already placed a hit. This guy wasn't an amateur. They hadn't expected him to live after drop off which worried Khali for the sake of Lily. What a fool I was, he bashed himself. What if she'd been stuck in the apartment with no food...his stomach churned. Fuck, I can't do this, his mind raced.

What he did now mattered. But leaving town with no place to go, nothing...again...he sighed.

"Why did you have to look at it?"

She visibly shrunk more. He sighed and pulled her close. "I'm sorry," he said next. "I'm...worried. I forgot about the sight."

Lily rested her head on his chest. "I know it's my fault. I dunno why it won't come off. What is it?"

Khali took a deep breath. "Some artifact everyone is after. It doesn't do anything...so that it _did_ something...stuck on you...I don't know what that means. I'm not getting anywhere with anyone and times is running out. No one will touch this. We have to leave...and you don't f-er mess with these people. I don't know where to go."

"Again?" She sighed. This had been their home the longest out of all the times of moving.

His body turned as a bell rang. She felt his shoulders sink. "What?"

He held her tight. "He just poked his head out of the store and nodded no. Meaning no. I have no money Lily." He turned her and started to walk. "What the hell is this thing?" Khali took hold of her lower arm to look at the artifact. "Just some dumb looking crafted bracelet."

Lily thought, "You said it's old. Some old things have value. Money isn't usually one of them." She paused feeling afraid for once. "Will they kill me?"

"Yeah," he said pushing her along. "I think this is kind of up there with our lives," he said and shoved his hands in his pockets. He looped one arm with hers to lead her.

* * *

Florida. The sunshine state. Why any vampire would want to stay here, It wondered, was beyond ludacris. It had been ten hours while on the prowl. It visited numerous locations, observed and gathered intel. Apparently there was a boy that was supposed to transport the artifact, but he was late, and It grew restless. The name Khali popped up a few times, and It assumed that was the image the Master had sent.

About an hour later, on one of the last few places It was going to check, he saw the boy downtown. Unfortunately It was in too populated an area to simply attack. By simple luck It had happened on the boy as he was leaving the shop with a girl in toe.

It floated within the shadows of the walls, people, cars...not too close and not far off. A few times It noticed the girl become stiff and uneasy, and It wondered if she could sense It. There was a limited amount of time before he would flee, so It knew it would have to act.

A small commotion began in the alleyways that toppled over into the streets. A few friends of his, Khali ran up to them to see what the problem was. Maybe not the best idea, he wondered to himself. "Here," he told Lily and placed her hands on a street lamp. Don't move...I'll be back."

"I need to get the hell outta here where they know me," he grumbled to himself. "What's the deal?"

"RUN!," his friend screamed right when two Mages knifed him. His mouth formed a large O shape before he fell to his knees and gripped his plaid shirt. Blood was everywhere. "They are looking for you," he gasped.

The kid was knocked out with a huge thump on the ground. This was the second time he'd been knifed tonight, but this one was going to be the death of him. Pain slashed every avenue of his body, hurling vomit from his gutt.

"Sick, shit head." The man bellowed kicking Khali in the face. He then rolled to his side spitting up blood. The man stood more definitely out in the light, black suit and slicked back hair and kicked him with a dress shoe. Its pointed edge met with a rib, and an enormous cracking sound.

"Kkkkkkhali?" Lily screamed afraid.

Another mage emerged then and advanced on him and hit him over the head with a bat. A car horn sounded and the second mage nodded to the driver. The cars lights flashed on, Lily's eyes were wide and Khali was left for dead on the ground. The breathing…it sounded of liquid in his lungs.

"What about the girl." It was a statement. Lily fell to the ground still holding the poll. Footsteps drew close and she remained still. Air waved in front of her face. "Bitch can't see shit." This man laughed and grabbed her chin. "Pretty little thing, ain't ya. Hmm," he looked over her body. "No tits, though. What are you…twelve?"

Yes, her mind screamed_. Lie_…

The man began to feel her up and she turned her head away from his stinking breath. Fear peaked, but she remained quiet. This was utter violation, but nothing she could do about it. Finally the other man shouted, "Shoot her or leave her. C'mon. Check him."

A new voice sounded, more rustling, and then and angry, "He ain't got it," echoed off the walls. A car door slammed shut and more footsteps. Lily's body was rigid with dread and cold.

Suddenly a large pair of hands gripped her by the hair lifting her up off the ground. Pain creased throughout her head and Lily screamed in pain. The second mage held her up yelling into her face. "Where is it?" He shook her, "now or I'll blow his head off!"

"Here!" The first one said. "Cut her some...that'll get it out of her." The second mage caught the knife, and then placed it next to her face. He decided against that and opted for her shoulder. A numb sounding wail pierced the silence as they laughed. "Let's take her and use her ag-" He never got to finish.

* * *

_Blood_. It smelled blood-old blood and _pain_. A rage stirred within It, and he raced forward. What were these humans daring to touch her for? Didn't they know she was a bystander? A mass of engulfing darkness began to swirl like a mini tornado. When had It ever cared about bystanders? The men noticed all too late when It slammed into them. Carefully, It grabbed the girl before she hit the pavement, and IT saw the artifact. It paused for a second, unsure, but then decided to get rid of the men and then deal with the girl last.

**Form!**

Two quick slices in the air and they were severed. Any Dark One found harming anyone with old blood was punished to death. This girl…she would be worth his freedom. There were few stories of ones like this…ancient. It enforced the law, as dictated by the Master. Once they were dead, the other guy drove off.

Hmm, It decided not to give chase. After all, the girl had the artifact with her, and the boy was no longer his concern. Damn Mages, they _know_ better than to start trouble. Witches, mages, who gave a shit? Burn in hell, It wanted to yell.

_Kill._

"Khali?" her tiny voice muttered. It watched her try and crawl to the boy, fingers playing over his near dead form. They shook with intensity…a deep rooted fear. It must be her provider. He tried to enter her head, but found a wall. A literal wall, brick and all. She stopped moving then and remained utterly still.

It's like she knew, he measured.

"I know you," she said then. "I don't get how, but...I do."

He grew still as well then. How did she know him? Damon touched his face, hand covering his mouth. Oh yes, form, It had forgotten already. Just like always, It mused. Things came and went, and sometimes came back later. Enough, he cleared his head. He. Damon.

Blood. It practically sang to him. It eyed the girl, before its eyes settled on the bloody knife. Drawn to the knife, It knelt there deciding whether or not to lick the blood. Shrugging, It picked up the knife and neared the young girl hovering close to the ground. She aimlessly tried feeling for something to hold onto, but nothing was near.

It didn't like to eat children.

"You gonna do something or just sit there?" She looked around trying to sense it. Each time he swayed to the side her head followed. "He's dying."

"That is not my concern," he said then sarcasm heavy in his voice. Then Damon cleared this throat.

He speaks, she thought to herself. Enemy or not, Lily pondered. She was seeing red…everywhere. Rage or something else…her mind thought. Wait, this was his shape...it was all red...he means me harm, she guessed quick.

Since It was ordered to kill, It took form beside the girl once It had attacked. What would the Master say to Its dilemma? Surely he had two conflicting orders. He could taste the blood from the knife or simple devour the girl. As long as Its Master had what he wanted...or just bring the girl and let the Master decide? It would be easier to gain freedom if she didn't have it on-a bargain. He could…sever her hand. Why had they even assaulted her? Then something occurred to It.

It felt disjointed and confused. So much blood...before It could stop...the blood sang to him, drawing It in like a moth to a flame. Normally this wouldn't be an issue. And It was starved. It had orders.

Again, when it drew closer, it felt a giddy like sensation. Why was he resisting? Her breath hitched a notch as he drew close. Was this excitement and fear?

"Who are you?" she cried.

**Strike**…

The order compelled through his head. Plummeting to his knees, he screamed in agony. It hurt to resist. Damon grabbed at his skull, hair spiking through his long fingers. Helpless to fight, It grabbed the scared female roughly, dragged her close. Both of her arms gripped below the crease in his arms. Breathing ragged, he struggled for some control. _Blood_…he sniffed in, and licked at her shoulder as she trembled still pushing against him.

"No…" she cried softly. It was such a little 'no'. The 'no' of a life ended too soon. The sound of prey that knew it was going to die but resisted giving in. She fought him, and he reared back examining her.

Divine…she smelled divine. Compel her…she's just a kid…he thought fighting. But that wall-ugh it was still there. She was strong. Holy _fuck_, he pushed, but the wall grew taller. Grasping her head to the side, Damon sunk his fangs in with a lethal strike. Mmm! It wanted to bite hard and deep, feel the flesh break under fangs. Guttural sounds escaped his mouth as his thirst was quenched with one suck. He was _lost_, but managed to slow. Savor it, he bit out at his hunger.

Each time he sucked at her neck, Lily felt something bloom within her stomach. Each time this sensation grew until it soared everywhere. Shock...maybe its shock she thought fighting on. I don't...want...to fight it. Yet, she fought harder still. Vampire...he's a vampire, her mind faltered. It was becoming scarce as her blood loss grew. His mouth worked at her throat slowly, greedy, savoring; agonizing her emotions, sensations flaring.

Her lips brushed against the crook between his neck and shoulder then, and she...kissed it. There was no reason as to why she did such a thing, but all the fight left her. She felt safe with him...a vampire...and just let go. Tough but slightly salted skin, a masculine scent drifted through her nose, and she sighed, arms falling. It sent waves of some feeling she didn't understand through her lips, and sprung it like a waterfall through all the nerves of her body. She gave up, and with it, fear left her. Pain ceased, and she was free. it was like she could feel her soul grounded for the very first time-and she was dying.

And then it was like a haze lifted when she surrendered. He could think, feel, move once more. The girl shivered as It enclosed her in his darkness. Wisps wrapped themselves around him, hugging the tiny girl to himself. Damon-he was Damon. Images flooding back, disjointed…memories?

Pain, it shot everywhere with in him then. Liquid fire flamed upon her skin as if a burning fire were right there. Damon had drank greedily, heavily, and the small child fought him still. Her feeble attempts to push him away faltered as her life essence was drained.

_Thump_…stutter…_thump_…

Shit.

A horrid scream ripped through her throat, and he felt himself falter. Letting go, Damon heaved in breathes of air, holding the tiny thing in his hands. Lifelessly, she laid there heart fluttering close to death. Head held high, he squeezed his eyes shut trying to drown out the pain he felt. Bite or no bite, it seared throughout his body and his frame shook with contempt.

His body came to life then.

…it feels like I'm…dying…

It was then he managed to look down. Carefully, he grabbed her chin turning her face to his. His eyes felt sad then. She was utterly stoic, hauntingly beautiful-but so young. Precious…images of roses conjured in his mind.

_Spirit_, his mind called. Her eyes fluttered once, and then rolled back. What the _hell_?

Examining her closer, Damon noticed small marks on her neck. Dammit…she was marked, and he'd touched someone's property. When he aimed down for a closer look…those…those were _his_ marks.

What the fuck was going on?

Vision blurring, Damon made a split second choice to disregard his orders…orders? Since when did I take _orders_? Then he looked around. Where the hell am I? Everything looked like a bomb had gone off and no one had bothered to clean the shit up.

He bit into his wrist, laying the body down on the ground. He didn't want to kill a child. As he looked at her, though, he noted she wasn't a child, but malnourished. The need to feed was sated, and he felt almost high.

It was sacred, what he was about to do, but he needed a way to link her essence to his. He'd never Shared with anyone but Vickie Donovan the one time. He'd heard of such things over the years, but his blood had been cursed when he was enslaved. She'd been the only to survive it. I've heard of this before, he thought aimlessly as he worked. Wake up, dammit. He shook her lifeless form, as she faded away. She's linked to me already…I feel her death…I know it's mine. What the hell is going on? How do I know this?

The spell.

Klaus.

It was coming **back**.

The infant. THE GIRL. She was _his_ girl. _His_ marks. He'd made them. _SHE_ was the one that made him whole. Excitement began to bubble then. And he'd found her here, of all places in the world. Thought I lost you when the couple ran. He couldn't leave to chase her…they'd gotten too far. He'd felt her though, over the years.

The red roses…

Damon bit into her wrist the same time as he held his over her mouth. He'd managed to find her at least once a year. But how. Why?

* * *

She stirred some place…somewhere…everything hurt. "Christ." Lily grabbed at her head then.

"If you lay still it will hurt less." That voice…crap she jolted up and nearly fell over. The voice was a mans, clipped, and something else.

Why women didn't listen to logic, Damon wondered, was beyond him. He caught her mid fall, their eyes meeting. Such a beautiful girl, he mused.

She'd been out for a few days now, and he was growing concerned. He touched her cheek then, gently, erring on the side of caution. This wouldn't be too hard. Young girls are easy to sway. I'll do as I planned before. Seduce her, use her, and ditch her.

With her blood flowing within him as strongly, he felt he could do anything. Klaus had not bothered him when he'd told him that the boy was dead. He omitted the girl and avoided a direct lie.

"How do you feel?" He asked her.

"Drained," she said glaring at him.

* * *

Lily wiped her head as the stress cleared from her head. It had been two days and a few mage trinkets later, but she was safe. There had been three dogs waiting for her outside. Nothing a few mage charms and bombs wouldn't fix.

This was a small motel room, one paid with cash. It was so nice, and they were far and few between these days. I'm alive, she thought looking her body over. Damon must have made it out ok too, she mused.

Damon. How he haunted her waking and sleeping hours. The thought of his lips, his body inside her…eyes bulging, Lily turned around for distraction. This was not the controlled person she was used to. Nothing she did would erase their last tryst and it was awful.

Breathe, girl. Not one man had ever managed to get passed her defenses. Not in a long damned time. I don't ever want to feel like I'm weak. Forget who you were, remain focused on who you are. Who am I, though, she countered.

Walking to the bathroom, Lily began to unpack a tiny tube of toothpaste. Her daunted eyes, angular face portrayed another version of herself. Blue eyes starred back, almost calculated. I'm bordering on bipolar here. Her old coworkers used to call her that, one moment she was sad for a victim, the next a cold hearted bitch. Shrugging, she lined the paste on her pink brush and scrubbed her teeth. I'm a bitch, but most times I stay quiet. What will I do for some work here?

* * *

Damon roamed the streets, with hands in pockets- in black pants. His mind only filled with quiet joy wondering what John's face would have looked like once he'd landed on the floor. Empty space. Stupid fuck fell for it every time. With each step, his loose laced boots clacked, swinging their untied ends against leather. Hair was wild, like the breeze, and his t-shirt was as casual as he felt.

I wonder what Lily is wearing, he smiled to himself. I wish it was me. Perhaps later, when she dreams, I'll torment her, he thought brightly. With blood this fresh in his system, there were many things he'd do to her from afar. Talent and power-oh how I love thee. Wonder if I could make her come from fifty miles away, to which he stopped and looked around smiling. Then he corrected, _nearly_ come. Have to make her beg again. If she begged, he'd give her the world. Plus a few extras. There was some oddly gratifying dynamic they seemed to share together. He could give her almost anything-even the world.

But she didn't want the world, or him, or even Julian anymore. She hurt and didn't want to be hurt anymore. Didn't want blame, pressure, prophecy or anything else telling her what she is or was or would become. And the places she did hurt, hurt her deep where no one could reach-no one but he. For some purpose this resonated loudly with him. It had manifested into a physical need to express pain, and let it heal that way. She needed someone to control it, or she'd hurt herself. He was the opposite-wanting to inflict the pain he felt outward. Only death seemed to give him solace. Until recently. Until times like the one they'd just shared.

She was afraid she'd give him permission to Share in unguarded moments. That would undo everything bad for him, but permanently bind her to him. But right now, it wasn't an option. She considered it a sin, and it reminded him of Tatia and what he'd learned of her. She was probably right, but he was a vampire. It was his nature to seduce and conquer, even control.

He'd been too close to her, though, this time. Ah, to want someone you can't ever really have. Trust issues aside, she was his. I've screwed her, but it's not the same, Damon relented. Damon knew John wanted him dead, but Lily was the more human aspect of their link. He needed to free himself from all the players that had bound him fifty years ago, before being free of this bond. This came first.

Until then he protected her like some rabid guard dog. Vampires now needed permission to gain the last link in the bond-and it wasn't something a vampire could force thanks to Bonnie. He couldn't compel someone as strong as Lily either. He had to earn it. With ample time, there was much he'd learned. Since then he'd set forth to finding those that had done him wrong. There was no way to turn her or she'd die…and he as well. Not until this was over.

Soon, he'd meet up with the few survivors of Mystic falls 'Dark Ones' and decide the next best place to take action. Stefan, Caroline, and Elena. That was all.

Elena. Deliberating if Klaus would kill her once her 'life span' was over, or just keep trying regardless, had many people wondering. Why did he want that artifact so bad? What about it would change things? The fucker had come back from the dead, of course. It was his thing, like bad achene was to a greasy face, he just kept poppin up. But his temporary death had set Damon free of compulsion and that was enough. A human had killed Klaus. That was laughable. It had also undone part of the binding that happened between him and Lily. Now I have five more people to find and kill and she and I are done.

Done with this _chapter_, he corrected. He'd come to admire and desire Lily Thompson. She was all strength on so many levels; like a rose yearning to bloom. And she had bloomed this last time. With two dominate personalities someone always had to cave. The fight was just half the fun. Last time it had been her, but when with her, was his. Finally. There were few things he'd ever give control up on now. There were things he needed to undo with her though…things to fix. It was his fault she'd become this way. That and Stefan. And Julian.

Julian felt towards Lily, how I felt towards Elena once. They could be soul mates, but they weren't the eternal flame that inspired sonnets or ballads. And this time she was mine first, in all ways and things. She went back to him, but always lingered towards me. She accepted herself, unlike Elena. She _pushed_ the fuck back. And she'd burnt bright against his skin; he remembered her under him and groaned.

I need her like she needs water. My thirst, Damon thought with worry, is all for her.

Stefan believed her to become the utter darkness. He didn't care about choice or fate. But I did, Damon mused. She was like me, he thought on with a smile. She was the candle in my darkness. Water would not touch nor drown; wind would not blow or stamp out…she was the flame my heart could beat against. Who would believe such a thing. maybe once, before I had been captured. Losing Elena..that had changed me. Lily, though, she was a place like the burning sun as it hung in the night sky and surrounded itself with lonely stars. Then there was that she hated Stefan. Always a plus there, he laughed aloud. A few passerby's looked his way and shook their heads.

Klaus had once tried to reaffirm control, but that had been fun…seeing his face when it no longer worked. He was tied with blood to Lily. As long as he maintained that blood bond-Sharing once in a while-he kept control. He could resist the older vampire. He still couldn't compel him, though. Not yet. Apparently, sucking Rebekah dry had benefits, but not enough to over power another of their family. Well Klaus was a hybrid, not just a vampire. It made sense. Damon was over wanting Klaus to suffer. Fuck that, he thought deliberate. I want that asshole GONE. He had more damn lives than the nine a cat had.

Hopefully Elena didn't still rely on Stefan for her safety. She was sure to run out of her lives if so. He remembered calling Stefan the first time about five years ago.

"_Hello," came the exhausted voice of his brother._

"_Hello, brother." Damon spoke with utter hate._

"_Damon? Where the hell have you been."_

_"In the shadows, of course." Not that you bothered to look.  
_

They'd lost contact with him. Did any try to find him? Damon had disappeared on John too. Much like he wanted to with Stefan these days. He didn't want them near Lily. On her was the one thing to set Elena free from her vampire life, but he was over being used for Stefan's sake. Elena was undead, but she existed. He and she needed to understand that and live with it. He had had to.

And John would flat out kill her on sight. that tall bastard needed to back off. He hadn't done those things on a whim, he'd been _ordered_ to. John hated chance, though. If Klaus found out about Lily, he'd only use her. Another reason to keep Lily's identity a secret. John knew of her, just not what she was. Lily had been born months earlier than the prophecy had said. She was alive because of him. She had a way with the dead, with animals...it was unnatural. So much so he believed it wasn't coincidence.

Lily was his.

Granted he'd only wanted her to free him from Klaus. And he'd used her viciously in the attempt. But she'd grown on him. So much so, that when he thought he was free of her he'd come back. After a life time of watching or feeling someone...you tend to grow fond of them. And she'd always been a distant hum for came the discovery he…_felt things_…for her. he'd already fucked up then. She made him feel alive. Free from this disaster of a life. Much like the dream he'd once given Rose. It was the same reason he left her a rose each year on her birthday. She reminded him of his humanity. His life. His choices. Please let me be your choice. Just this once…

But again, he geared his mid back into protection mode. I will not beg.

Once counted to twenty, he'd dispersed just two days before signaling the end of their time together. How empty it felt without her again.. John would never find a way to clear out an entire room of shadows. Lucky for him it was right as John had lunged. Ah, his girl was good. And fast. Or faster at evading you, he thought. As if on cue, he could feel her, fifty miles out, brushing her teeth. He saw her, in his mind's eye, stop and look into the mirror ahead of her. His blood…it was newly mixing with what he'd taken. Her blood extended his powers a great distance. It would be days before he felt the need to feed again. It would be longer before he'd get back under her skin. But the hunger for her remained.

Tempt.

Damon reached his destination for the morning. Looking up a tall building, he compelled a man earlier this evening, and this is the place he'd rest. Pressing the intercom, the man let him in. All the way to the 4th floor, Damon thought of different ways he would torment his lady's dreams. He _would_ have her again. Until then, he'd torment her with all the things he would do once they met again.

Some things, he still simply lived for. He pushed a little bit of his soul towards her, touching her from the inside. All the quicker to get you dreaming, he thought, as his touch made Lily absently drift to sleep. Time for fun. He reached the door, knocked once, and the man let him in.

A/N: Next chapter is another wonderful tease session for Damon and Lily as they explore the dream realm. Hopefully this next journey will be fun, light hearted and steam them up for their next real encounter. Juicing up for more action, Damon Elena fight, and maybe some of those future changes I'm working out. Next chapter may be small, or split.


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter 7

"In Your Dreams"

**Present**

Suddenly she slept, so easily, like warm chocolate dripping over strawberries. Mm, her mind purred as it floated endlessly like water following with the natural ebb and flow of tides. _The current...or __its__ driving force-which one am I?_ She'd pondered this so many times. Occasionally she felt inevitably weak, and others strong and dependent.

_Always the questions, Lily_...Damon's voice sang from far away. _Just be_.

This was the beach, back in Florida...the day her life took on new meaning. It was both what she figured was the best day of her life, and then the worst. A first bout with some twisted men had scarred her for life. _Enough_, her mind declared moving on.

She'd met him here, in a dream; Damon with his faraway look, secret smile, and taunting words. This information always slipped her mind while awake. Remembering distantly, Damon had rescued her about five months prior, taken over her life, and set her on a on a path he figured she should be on as a human girl. _What a load of shit that had turned out to be_, she snickered.

He must have drunk something; the atmosphere was heavy, languid, and slow. _I know what you are trying to do, Damon_. Lily had played these games with him years ago. He'd started out slow, casual, and then made each night some fiery furnace. He'd never physically touched her. She'd been too young, but he knew how girls worked. If he was her world, and depended on him, then she'd do anything for him.

She had no family, **no father**, and no strong male figure. He'd been smart in not setting out to be her lover. Something Stefan had done with Elena. Granted he'd had his share of women-girls. But something about younger females turned him off. Maybe it was all their fluff, short lived crushes, and even shorter attention spans.

But then it had stopped. Reality had set in, of course. The day Klaus had shown up.

Things she couldn't face swamped up and met her head on like a clashing of dishes on the floor. She turned her imaginary back then, trying for an escape. Behind her was nothing but misty white background...almost like heaven. No escape, her heart pounded. Then the floaty dizziness began, and her body floated in this space. Her hair was weightless as it lifted like some splayed shampoo commercial, around her head. It was like she was in space, or under water.

_Really_? She sent towards Damon.

She felt his smile as he walked into her field of vision. Following...always following her. _Do you seriously not have a life, Damon?_ This is how she knew him...he'd come linger in her dreams. So far back, and so long ago, it had always been this way. It's the only place she felt safe, the place where nightmares were nothing but sweet lullabies.

_I am the man of your dreams, remember? We need to talk, unless_...he let the space fill for a minute..._you __want to do something else? _Oh, he'd had to ask.

She cocked her head at him. OK_, I'll bite_. _What do we need to '__discuss'. You got laid-good for you._

Another swift smile as she felt imaginary arms around her. _I want to see you though. Get off me, too._

Damon's face and body began to swirl into form by her face then. Noting her aloof mood, he changed tactics and waited patiently. The life he'd known under Klaus had taught him many, many things. He looked like some dream, edged softly like a professional photo. Perhaps what he looked like when he was alive once. But the closeness made her uneasy. He'd made her weak, and part of her heart wanted violence for it.

_Each time you avoid me, I get to play, understand?_ His voice was soft and velvety.

_Likewise_, she smiled back at him singing the response. _Two can play at this game_. Actually, part of her was desperate to bring his ego down a notch. Last time...she'd felt too pathetic, and she'd been unsettled since. It was the first time she'd experienced what a natural lover could offer. She grunted inwardly, remembering the times he'd touched places that his hands couldn't reach. Fuckin slow ass burn. Her head rose as she starred into an imaginary sky shaking her head.

_See_, he said knowing her thoughts. _It doesn't have to hurt_.

_It hurts now, and I want you to stop it._

_No, _he said standing closer. Her heart thumped heavy, her hands shook, and rage began to build._ You need to learn control in that which you hate. The things that make you feel weak and despairing can only set you free. _There were many ways to go about this, but not when she was in her dominate mood. If he were not careful, she could hurt him equally bad. Such had burned him before when he pushed her to hard. _Learn to live without control, and then you can be free of all control.__Once you face that which you fear…there is nothing left to fear._

_I'm not in the mood for your kinky ideas, Damon. _She turned the tactics on him_. And what do I get in return? Tied up, hurt, and nothing. You give me nothing. You leave me with nothing._

Unsettled, Damon let her go. Too many layers were wrapped in her words, and he understood it. The image of a landscape appeared before her then, a wide open ocean, a beach, and plants. Day time as it had once been. The sky was so blue and clear; the sun hugged the sky and beamed out its warm rays over the plants upon the dunes. The ocean sparkled clearly like diamonds; diamonds showering the tips of light waves, small foam as it rushed the beach and the eventual slide back into the abyss. She'd never seen it this way...it must be his memory.

_Sometimes I used to come here when I was away from Virginia_, he said descending the wooden stair way towards the beach_.__ I only want what you offer. It's getting you to offer it that is hardest_. Of course she followed after a moment's pause. How different things seemed now that they'd...had sex. Real unadulterated touch...she felt her insides coil.

It was fear.

_We could be great together, you and I_, he spoke his velvety soft voice. This worked on most women, but she simply ignored it. It kind of irritated her, debasing her intellect.

_Don't use wordy __bullshit like that on me. Damon_, she said softly after a moment, _I am not giving my life up to you either alive or undead. I don't want to be a vampire, nor a slave to some bond. I do not want to be in your world-you can't be in mine. You already know-and __yes know-that trying that will only kill us. Why do you think I am trying to stay __away?__ Stop making it harder. _She thought about the failure of one very old ancient, and mocked her silently. Why did everyone else's' shit always fall on her shoulders? _I do not offer you anything; you have nothing to give me_.

_So it is less that I would fight you and win? Did we not dance the age old dance? You think that will be the last time?_ His laugh permeated the air. _No, not in the least__. If it is your nature to be dominated before I can get close-be careful-vampires love a challenge. I love them even more. I know how to make you love it too_.

Damon grew mildly irritated as well sensing her lack of amiability, _it's in my nature._ His eyebrows wiggled up and down, but she just stared passed it. No matter, he didn't feel the old ways within himself anymore. One had to be care free, which he wasn't._ I can't help what I am__, but I can and will go toe to toe with you__._ After another second he paused and watched her stand beside him. Her hair had gained gravity again as he'd made the scene.

She was so lovely. It was more than her power, more than attraction. What will it be like, he pondered, when we are free? The sun reflected off her hair leaving a beam that radiated around her like some angelic halo. She'd touched him once, when he was weak, pulled him off a victim and tossed him clean across brick. Rather than kill him (before she knew it would be her life), she'd placed a hand over his heart and calmed his beast. Blood lust-it was so much more than a beast. It defied the moment Elena had told him she was sorry he'd lost Katharine. Just like that, a snap of the fingers.

She'd had every reason to end him then and there.

Ancient. How I wish I could tell you, he thought blindingly. It hurt not to tell her, this deep secret. But it was for their kind he remained silent. No one knew but him, no one witnessed it but he, and daring fate to speak the truth was not his thing. There is always a time and a place for things. Either she would choose to be good or walk within the darkness like Stefan, Julian, or John suspected she would. Somehow, though, he thought she'd be a little bit of both. But he needed to remind her of it, before she became lost.

But he couldn't tell her. It was the gypsy...a person he'd mildly trusted, that he'd been seeing for information on Lily. To tell her would only complicate her journey. Her power lied in the choices she would make, but other than that, no one could foresee her future. Lily was of day and night, she set his kind free. From what the gypsies knew, ancients found their own paths. They came into their power as needed, when ready, and it only grew from there. She was just so ruled by fear that she was fearless.

He had never heard of such an Ancient sharing a bond with anyone. He'd come up short yet again, and it frustrated the hell out of him. I know I can bond her to me, but I'd rather just change her, he thought to himself. She'd hate him for it.

_There are five more people to get rid of. Seriously, I doubt we'll do it in a life time._

_Lily,_ Damon eyed her, _you and your sarcasm..._if I bind her, she gains my essence and strength. She and I gain each other's eyes and ears. We already share a life force. Maybe she would hate him, but with two times of Sharing down, he was ready to impart the third. Immortal and…super human. It would make her feel less, though. Damon shrugged ending his thoughts.

Yes, choices…taking them away for a greater good…sometimes hard things just had to be done.

_If you don't like it...don't save random babies in the night._ She looked him in the eye then, unafraid. Daring even.

_It was my destiny_, he said smiling. _Elena has nothing on __you_. His hand came to rest on her cheek. Lily would kill someone-like him-if it needed to be done. She wasn't a martyr, but a warrior. This feeling, it rushed to the surface then and he faced her straight on. There was no way to describe the sensation he felt, only that it seemed to both hurt and satisfy at once.

Klaus had held an innocent before her once. He told her to move and let him take Damon or the boy would die. She'd had to let him die for the greater good. _Guilt-we carry it the same_, he thought to her.

He let her feel the rush as it flowed through him, pour over her skin, and circulate through her body. Eyes widening, she stepped away. _Don't tell me you are afraid_...he smiled at her challenging. _That means you are dodging_.

_You've played that card once. Fool me once, Damon. Not twice_, and she moved towards the water. _So the world used to lo__ok like this huh?_

_Yes, _he simply loved to watch her. He'd said that to Elena once. Careful, he warned himself. _Nature is rebelling, storms, disasters. These are all things you can calm. Like me. Like all the others_. _Like animals._

Calm our vampire nature, he wanted to say to his itching gums. Take us out of the darkness. Humanity, it lingered just out of reach. Would he rob those that wanted freedom just to be with her? Fuck yes, he would. Learn to live with it, was his motto. CAREFUL, DAMON.

_And what of those who glory in their nature?_ She said as if reading his mind.

_They shall stay, we will kill them. _He shrugged at the comment.

_As a human_, she smirked._ I figured you smarter than that.__ I can't fight the bastards._

Again he was at a loss to explain it to her. _Someday__ I believe you will become great, so kill me. People need mor__e than just arms and legs, Lily. I have seen war. Men would die for a cause making them the most formidable enemy. _Damon picked up a shell and scattered it across the water, jumping three times before it vanished.

_Is that why you killed so __recklessly in your day_, she smiled wickedly. _Dodging?_

_Tit for tat_, he smiled. She'd dodged him, it was his turn. _Remember how we were here?_

_Oh, THAT again. _She tried to step away but he grabbed her upper arm forcing her to look at him square in the eye.

_There wi__ll never be __an__ end to the torment, you must realize this_. He searched her eyes trying to convey two things at once. Be strong, but know I need you. Resist. Dammit, the darkness surged in him once more. It wanted to control her, seduce her, and bring her to her knees.

_Damon_...her voice was soft. Sensing his discomfort, she centered herself forcing all of her energy into the palm of her hand. Looking down at her, she showed him her intentions and he let her go. Gulping, excited, he waited like an eager child. This was both good and bad. Good for him, and bad for her.

That hand could calm a hurricane someday. Gently, tentatively, she reached his chest and placed her hand over his heart. **Thump, thump**. Catching his breath, he leaned forward slightly off balance. His heart beat in time with hers, easing, slowing. She caught him, leaned his body to hers, and they slid onto the sand. Pure radiating warmth filled him then, calming his nerves, severing the power of the darkness threatening to claim him.

After a few heavy gasps, Damon found his center. Before she could react, he grabbed her head by way of cheek, turned his head as her eyes grew wide, and kissed her fiercely. Her surprised face parted shocked lips and he took the opportunity to explore her mouth. There were places he wanted that mouth, places he wanted her to want that mouth. She was his tigress, and he wanted her fierce as he felt. He'd make her glory in the sexuality of being conquered.

She groaned after a moment, the connection still burning a quite nice fire between them. Each thrust of his tongue against hers sent flames licking to her sex. His mind and her body connected in a steady stream of energy, and Damon wouldn't look back. Wouldn't.

_Damon...please...stop._

He would not. Could not. He wanted to touch her. Grabbing her shoulders from front and sliding back, Damon pushed her backward on the sand.

His kiss grew more rampant with need, and she struggled to hold onto control. Part of her inability to resist was from his eagerness. _Mate_, my mate her mind whispered ever so softly. She broke the kiss moaning, eyes rolling back. His hand moved swiftly from her face towards her center. A hiss was his gratification.

He could feel her thoughts, the war going on behind those lids. Those long fingers graced the folds of her sex, found her sweet spot and rubbed slow circles.

_I hate you_, she muttered. _See, I try and help you and you leap at me like some asshole…_

Grabbing his hand, she tossed it away and stood to go unknowing where.

_I will fight you, because I know you. I know what you want.__ I do not question why you want it that way, why you respond, because it is your nature to be this way. I accept it no matter how bad you think it makes you sick in the head. You don't want to be alone, and I am not afraid. Show me you aren't afraid,_ He dared to dare her before the cold place in her heart shut him out.

_You'd force me like the others_, she drilled at him. The fight was on, and she lashed out at him with her hand.

_There is a difference…you __**want**__ me to fight you, until you surrender.__ Maybe you need it. Maybe you need to fail where you succeed everywhere else. I don't have all the answers. I just know you._

Silence.

_Tell me I'm wrong_, he glared at her. She tried to punch him and he caught her fist as time stood still. The other hand came up and knocked him in the side of his head, wherein she laughed. Quickly, she whirled then, like a gust of wind, and knocked him off his feet. This was a dream, and she could manipulate it too.

She never got to answer the question before he grabbed at her arms, pushed her down and flipped her over in one stride, all from the sand. Using his body weight, they began to fight back and forth. She was a strong girl since having his blood, but he'd win. But then Damon knew that already.

_You cannot beat me_, he said softly. She struggled on and nearly rolled him off, and he became intent on her. Every fiber of strength, focus, and serious covered his face. Eyes became robust, with a hint of silver as his hunger rose to the surface.

Her thoughts and emotions were just at the surface, and he knew them like the back of his palm. He'd never hurt her; never force that which she feared. He'd always tried to push her limits, of course, but never too hard. People may think he was sick, but he knew his Lily.

She needed someone to bring her down, and only then could they get in. They had to **earn** it in the more primitive ways. Otherwise there was nothing left but dust in her wake.

Exhaust one, but she was still intent on resistance. Flipping her on her stomach, Damon held her hands behind her back, straddled her with his legs holding hers, and her face to the side. His mind reached out then, along with tendrils of shadows, and they began a dance of short torture along her desiccant skin. He was in her mind, with her, savoring her each moment.

Each nerve in her body-each cell he called to do his aching whim. In a rush, he _pushed_every ounce of his power through her veins, heart, head and they began to explode in a kaleidoscope of joyous release. Her breath hitched, but he forced her still as her body writhed beneath him. Her thoughts were calm, joyful, relaxed. His own release was maintained in a silent controlled atmosphere, hands tight on hers, body erect with every inch of hers.

_I __**told**__ you I would win this dance_, he said softly bending down, his lips brushing her ear. He wanted to do this again, only as real as dreams allowed. He smirked confidently at her, while her panting breathes subsided. _I owned you, and now I want to reap the rewards of this little tryst. A game is a game, Lily. I won, now-_

_**Not**__ totally_, she mocked him. An alarm rounded blaring in his **ears** as well as her laughter as she faded away from his domain. Pain ripped through his head like lightning hits during a thunder storm. He'd reached to cover his ears and she was gone just as fast.

Her voice returned very distantly, faintly… _Next time don't heighten every aspect of my being__,__ asshole_.

More laughter faded with her and she woke with a deathly smile. "Two can play that game, Damon."


	8. Chapter 6

**A/n**:_ Half way through my_ _chapter I was bored and decided to just wait and see what popped up which took a while. Thinking of 50 shades from his POV- and midnight sun-decided maybe we should get in Damon's head some. **Shout out to Damon_is_sex** for linking me out two weeks ago. Also to the many twitter lovelies that crack me up on a daily basis :) I have refrained from spamming anything related to this and prolly won't post it when I update. If you like and want to share, please do or fav. Sorry I get over excited sometimes and don't want to piss anyone off.I may on a secondary acct just for that.  
_

_A few more full chapter and a few more flashback chapters till we catch up to all present. I didn't like splitting them because it makes me mentally challenged when I read stories like that. Each step I take comes with a flashback or mental dream so you get where they came from. There is more friction in present and more fun in the past. I want you to relax into the chapter knowing you will be here or there. Part of this has been a hard choice to decide just how I need to show how Lily became so volatile. I don't know if I went too far out there with her emotions, but keep in mind they are both going left and swinging right. They directly effect one another and are about to see just how much so. Not sure if I am characterizing them blatantly or right. When I write of the rage, I try to really get into the gut of how she feels, how he adds to it. Let me know if I did good on it. This relates to her controlling this thing inside her in the present time for him, and also because she is an ancient. These are things Tatia never got to do before she died. It was the same problem Kat and Elena share. Klaus is soon to resurface like he always manages._

_This affects her present time relationship with Damon. It directly affects the story flow for later too. I am warning ahead here, it is getting dark, has darkish themes. People may die, or be killed, some of the sexuality and torture will be hit on in coming chapters (briefly not too graphic). Internal struggle is going to hit ten before choices are made. Caroline, Elena and Stefan are soon to show up :) Also the other 5 people Damon is trying to get rid of to be free of the bond will come about. Also a major DE moment. Most chapters will be present followed by FB. Technology was hard to figure in-hope it isn't too corny. I do not wish to upset anyone, but I want to warn people-give it a chance. I may jump between pov but will list it if I ever do. As in this one…it's the same time, but two POV. I love longing, internal struggle and resisting. Overcoming hardships and hell are what I also love. These are themes you will see for both Lily and Damon. Lily may get killer on us, not sure yet. Are you wondering who is going to be saving who yet?_

* * *

Past 2.5 Years Ago

"Thoughts"

Damon's P.O.V.

My meal ticket was becoming rather...hard to maneuver. It had been years as I watched her, in dreams, from time to time showing up to drop her a rose on her birthday. These were all memories that came to the surface when I attacked her not too long ago. It was enough to stop me dead in my tracks. Her neck with my mark on them...

Chills ran through my spine just thinking about it. So much has changed...things were just not easy. Klaus was becoming more extreme by the moment, Elena was with Stefan in her blissful world while I was stuck babysitting this creature...alone.

Lily.

She hated the name I gave her. Perhaps someday, when she knew her mothers' name, she wouldn't hate it as much. Once, her 'brother' had been killed, I did what I thought was natural. Unfortunately for me, Klaus' hold had kept me from key moments in her life. School was becoming a problem, as well as her temper. Rather than take the lovers route, I became the enigmatic father figure. That also was a failure it seemed. Getting this new life was problematic when I had to answer to Klaus and his needs. He was like a roach that never died; an energizer battery that never stopped. I longed for the time to be ripe when I would take my payment from Lily.

But she was mine too, and I'd take her with me.

Sighing at myself, I tried to clear my head. She is a means to an end. Do not get sentimental and lose it now, Damon. Some distant hum in the air seemed to argue with me, and I turned off my switch. The need…for her…it was so…odd. More something I can't explain or grasp, like its _right there_. Grr. My shoulders slumped, perplexity draining my resolve. _D'ah fuck_, Damon! I want her…but not in a sexual way. What fucking other way was there to want a female?

Maybe it was the challenge after the mundane? No, not that. Maybe she is like you? No, that was obvious and moot. I want to hold her, protect her, kill her, drink her dry…I moaned inwardly. This is what long term torture does. I'm not going to get completely fucked over here. Patience, resolve, endurance. She calls to my darkness yet sooths it with those damned eyes.

Keep her away.

The only thing I could simplify was her exposure to me. I forced her to be blind to _me_, but I gave her everything she'd never seen before. When I was within a few feet or so of her, I had her wear a blind fold. She'd been blind so it wasn't hard for her to learn to live with it. That annoying occurrence happened when we were close. I'd learned that falling out of the air a few times. Recovering with speed was getting old. Now when I announced myself she wore it. Some stupid rule for me letting her live, but hey it worked. Sometimes I just needed to feel real, and others it was easier to maneuver around the house. I made sure she never knew why I did what I did.

She was a restless little shit, though.

Compelling her was not easy if it even worked; her mind was just _that_ strong and frustrating. All the while I watched and I waited learning my prey, manipulating responses, and drawing conclusions to her moves. This was a child, and my old ways of sex allure would not work. Keeping the switch off was key. No person had made me slip up enough to turn it on without my will. Such things were dangerous. I'd nearly happened on her neck a dozen times already. It's like a fucking joke or something, shit just happens when she is around me.

Rather than being bored, she'd pleasantly surprised me after a while. It seemed to get rather exciting after a while wondering what terrors awaited me and the staff that checked in on her. Some evenings I really did wonder about her state of mind. Days would come and she would be waiting with something to toss at me, hit me with, or jump me. Blind folded no less. Ironically it made me laugh, plus the ending fit she would have when I beat her. Shit falling off the ceiling, wires flinging horizontally when I opened the door. She booby trapped my entire house. For a moody girl, she was inventive.

Then came the usual human pranks-sink sprayer taped. Slick floors. A few people had broken bones and swore this place off. You name it, she managed it. How the fuck did she get up the high ceiling was beyond me. That's the place I would hide and read over her shoulder at night. Just the right amount of distance between me and her, but damn…she was like a frickin monkey. She'd thinned out the staff in a matter of days. Sad part was that she would only respond to force. I'd hold her down in place until she exhausted her rage in an unmoving grip. No words would be spoken of course. I was stronger, I was alpha in her eyes, and then she'd relax until the next day. It was like a caged tiger stalking the bars holding it.

I purposely piqued her interest to draw her in like a fly on the wall. When the time was right, I'd slap down the swatter and make myself a new life free of Klaus. All I would have to do was absorb him like I had Rebekah and we would all be safe. Then I would take her and turn her right before Klaus was gone. I knew she was the key, just not sure how she was. Above all else she was an ancient; I just didn't know what that meant or what it entailed.

Katherine and her manipulative ways would be so proud. The cunning bitch-I hope she'd be killed someday. Pausing to make Lily the intellectual person I knew she was, that was my goal right now. I needed a killer, and I used her to mold myself a companion and a watch dog. Sad really considering her youth, but this is how things were. If anything this would be a blessing for her. Stupid hunters had nothing on us, despite their attempts. Quickly, vampires moved to fill in the voids of ranks that the new technology created. They bypassed certain protocols and made new ones to protect from the old ones.

It was odd how much alike we were. She was the human version of me in my current state. Once I'd given her my blood in _Sharing_, I'd noticed the changes taking place over the last few with great interest. I watched her write these letters to herself, forced by her school counselor, and read them over her shoulder from the darkness. This was the only way to learn about my girl's life besides jumbled memories. At some point the protectors had left with her as an infant, and with her, my blood supply was gone. And without her blood, my memories faded and my condition deteriorated. But the connection was always there. Dreams. The roses. I always seemed to find her.

The life she'd had was grim. It was not something I had wanted for 'mine'. Each night she'd stand in the mirror and look at the various scares that lined her back with sadness. But there were never tears. Perhaps if she pleased me I would remove them for her. Human flesh was easy to reconstruct with our blood. Time and time again I would look at the same scars that Klaus had beaten into me, and it took all I had to remain on course. I'd placed a few drops of my blood in her food or drink from time to time to aid in the healing process. Also as a backup in case someone tried to hurt her or death. The healing had begun, and with it, my plan. Life was never boring in the least.

Her understanding was sharp, her personality had edge, and she viewed the world like a predator. The rate she learned astounded me. The speed with which she did things and moved was almost inhuman. Ancients were far superior to regular humans, that was evident. Lily was an alpha in a beta world. I had to be careful how I taught her, commanded her attention, and gained her respect. Under it all was a sad, lonely girl who was broken. This is where I needed to command her to control her.

I had to understand it, and her, and so I studied my angel as she slept.

When she dreamed it was of whips, kicks, and what they'd done to her eyes. Debasement of every kind. She'd become a slave to them-superstitious people in a no man's land. The only solace would come in the heat of the daylight sun as she baked out on the sand wherever they left her. Sickening pain from lack of water and dehydration, illusions, hopelessness were her world. Open wounds and all, people passed by her, spit at her, toss sand at her tiny form. A toddler no less. Lily had longevity and this would suit us if she was ever tortured.

I would do everything I could to prevent that, aside the plan.

She'd call animals to her when she felt the most alone and so her distress was a no no. And they would beat her again thinking her an omen or beast. Khali was just a boy when he'd found her, dragged her off, and healed her. The very last time...they had tried to drown her. Khali had killed the man, and ran with her to America. With no I.D.s, and the economy in this transition, he'd stayed low. But her blindness had stricken soon after making it difficult for him to manage. And thus began a life of crime. And her road back to here, to me, to the plan. It was almost too coincidental.

The air seemed to agree with me, and I shifted uneasily where I floated.

It took all I had not to bow at her feet for surviving that, but such feelings I could never express. Elena's face after that night she'd turned haunted me. I only hoped she would understand how this was the same torment for me. Trying to manipulate her _into_ it was all I had. Maybe I should just ask Lily? I couldn't align myself with her, she was too strong already. I had to earn her loyalty, like Khali, and keep it. How do I protect such a strong girl, though? That came with time.

It was no surprise she didn't fit in. Pain did that to you, just like it had me. Piercing pain would grip her at night, keeping her awake and sad. Nights would pass where she'd never sleep. Instead she would sit in her windowsill and stare out at the beach, the stairs leading to the sands, and into nothing. Whatever Elena had left in me was squashed and deluded.

I took what I wanted, and I wanted that life back. Just once in a while, I'd sit close too Lily in my shadows, bearing that loneliness I too felt. We'd never have this- her and I. Nothing the way Elena and I had built to. Dearly, I missed Elena in times like this. Sometimes Lily's sadness was so great, flocks of seabirds would circle the sky just above our home. Other times it would rain for hours. I suppose these were the real tears that she'd never shed. These were the hardest for me to get through. The girl stopped my heart at times and riled it up in others. These years I had the power to do everything for her and I was manipulating her to my whim. So few opportunities presented themselves since she was resilient, but eventually we all break down and expose our weaknesses. Elena would be disappointed in me, but then she'd made no move to find me. It made me bitter and left me feeling second. I would not be second anymore.

And Lily seemed to know when I was moody. Some nights she called to my crow, which would not come back to me. I'd burst in one evening to kill the beast and found it resting on her back as she slept. Opportunity knocked-finally. This was how she slept now, and I let it be. Dreams aided me, plans started to move within me, and I felt closer to her. It was like she knew where my heart was and just how to reach it. As a bonus, I always had my eyes on her, and with her.

We were connected through the damned bird, of all things.

I believe her loneliness called to me, made me ache in my heart, but I refused to let up. I ground out my humanity for now. Perhaps someday, if I played my cards right, I would take her away from all this. I would give her what she needed without her having to know what I was and what I was doing. As it was, she quickly became self-sufficient in every way except for the weaknesses I kept hidden within her. Once I'd zoomed in on them, it was easy.

It was a daily battle not to drink her dry, kill her, show myself, hold her, or move the plan forward. Watching her grow strong was a beautiful thing, like a flower blooming in and endless meadow of grass.

Problem number one was Klaus. Problem two was keeping her a secret and hidden, and then getting them together once she was strong enough. Problem four was that bracelet-the artifact I was commanded to take and kill the owner of it if I had too. The more desperate Klaus was, the harder I had to fight the compulsion. Soon, I would need more of her blood.

* * *

2.5 years ago

Lily's P.O.V.

_I hate writing these stupid fucking letters._

A new life with clothes, school, and friends...hums great doesn't it? It's bullshit, that's putting it into perspective. Perhaps I am a bit too cold, or a little abrasive. Having my head up someone's ass is not in my list of things to do. How the fuck he got me in here, of all places, is a mystery to me. Damon, the guy that nearly killed me, he did this. I know it. Maybe he felt bad for virtually draining me, but I wasn't going to fight the bastard. Humanity was fragile, right?

Teenybopper school with gossip, backstabbing, and random sex-aholics or drug addicts. Yup, just where I wanted to be. And I was smarter than all of these kids without having been in school a day in my life. They were oozing hormones that I just didn't seem to have, cared about the most inconsequential things, and talked about nothings for hours. Seriously? It really made my head hurt. Course I never said anything, but when I could answer each question, I'd known enough to stay quiet.

Then came the dirty looks.

From there it just went downhill. There was just no way for me to categorically grasp this age, or find a stereotype to adhere to. I tried so damn hard every day to fit in, but never really caring if I did. It was abundantly apparent I never would. Nothing challenged me; nothing was worth looking forward to. Well, except at home where I was driving people nuts. It was funny to me, but just as well. The teasing was endless. But then it had stopped. Someone had tried to kick my ass for no reason and I'd fought back.

It was rage. A deep seething rage that came from outside me, coiled within my soul and burst through in a streaming line of killer claws. She actually grabbed my hair of all things? I'd show her how it was done, and then she'd be sorry. See, to me, people can flap their lurid mouths all day and it won't phase me to act. But touching me…that was enough.

TV did me good, and after watching movies, I'd learned how to angle myself just right for an upper cut. Why do women grab _hair _and carry on? You aim, you sink in, and you silence resistance. Squash it down and burry it into the hell it deserves to be.

Rage! I fucking _hated_ this stupid ass whiny bitch from Ocala Florida with her top down gas guzzling SUV, girly-girl fluff and her blond curls that looked like ringlets from hades. It was so wavy and hair sprayed solid that an ant could get on it and surf with joy. You know the kind I mean. You see her and just want to bash her face in each time you see her, hear her, and any time she is mentioned. Just a typical phony air head sad excuse for life, that's what she was. If people touched me, I knock them out now. It was simple after the days of being spit on and kicked. NO MORE. I lived that in my nightmares and past, not in this time.

Something had just viciously snapped.

I'd let myself go from my fear, detached, and became _her. _Sounds stupid, but I loved crows and ravens. They signified death to me, and that is what I wanted for all of them. All I could see is a red haze when she'd touched me; Liquid burning hate that dripped out of me in a seething torrent of ooze. Birds filled my mind and I unleashed my rage into them. Everyone who kept hurting me. When I snapped, I'd thought of the raven. Death. I became death and acted. My crow-he'd swooped down and I knew it was to attack _with_ me. How I _knew_ was beyond me, but she'd threatened me, I'd become defenseless and enraged, and he had risen up as this thing inside called to him.

LILY, I tried to reason with myself. They'd kill it... and more rage came.

Something that connected us..._he'd acted_...I don't know how I knew, just that I knew. Inside my chest I could feel an equally flaming anger and it fueled mine. _Give in, give in_, the darkness called to me. NO! I had to cover it up with knocking her down fast. But once the dark raven inside rose, it was hard to shut her out. Everything in me fought _her_. I wanted blood, I wanted to fight, beat, and maim that her for all their savagery to me. It frothed up with immense power coming from more than just me it seemed. I'd protected my crow though, who'd watched me from a branch after the fuss. The satisfaction I felt was where it started. Like some drug.

I needed control.

Then I could feel it. Like some flood gate was opened up never to be shut again. _Him_, he was in there. There was a presence in that body. Why had I never noticed this before? I sensed it all the time now, whereas before I didn't.

Needless to say the girl that had challenged me had face planted with a broken jaw and nose. My crow was safe, and I was too. The control seeped through my body and I gained the raven and caged her. This beastly bird…it made my heart race like nothing before. Both sides of me were satisfied, if not happy. That was the day I was sure something really bad was wrong with me. All of these things changed for me all at once.

At one turn I'd wanted to stomp on her face, and in another I'd felt bad enough to want and help her. The threat to my crow was the most important thing. It was all I had, and my rage, and her instigation, it threatened _him_. I didn't know who he was, but I wanted to protect him. He was my solace, he kept me safe, kept me company. It threatened us. My heart constricted, my breath had become heaving. A new choice came to mind then. I needed to learn to control this dark raven inside. I could never ever give into her again. It also called to _Him_ inside the crow. I had to protect him.

To be left alone again, in that house, with Damon the no faced vampire was bad enough. There was nothing I could do to make him talk, to get to understand him, yet he often dominated my thoughts. Days still go by and I would wonder why he kept me a prisoner here, in school, and to this life. Why did he make me wear a blind fold too? I'd honestly rather be dead. He demanded my respect-a thing I challenged him on daily now. I knew I'd never beat him, until today maybe. It was more to tell him without words that I challenged his rule of me. The thing is…he understood me-like the darker side of me. I get that now. Maybe it is why he was treating me like this too. Such a thing was scary for me. I never admit it, but so few people get that.

Crow was all I had, like Khali. We talked in thoughts nowadays. I plotted my escape from here since last week. I may not be strong enough to fight him, but I could dodge Damon well. Thinking on it, maybe that's all I needed. Maybe it was what he was waiting for? I stood there like an idiot, nearly got suspended, but the Bully Law saved my ass. But Damon, he'd put me right back to school. Hence these stinkin letters I need to write. Why, I only burn them? I wrote before that, but that is my diary, and I kept it hidden from Damon. God only knows what he'd do if he read it. There was no one to talk to here, but I stopped since Crow…I have no need for a dairy any more.

Shaking my pen, I wrote on even more confused.

I no longer want to stand on the outside. I want to be someone else. Just not the Raven inside. I'm actually….really scared for once. What does it mean? What Am I? Who am I? Why has no one ever claimed me? I looked myself up, missing persons and nothing. I'm an enigma, a pariah, and a nobody. God help me…

Again, I put the pen down before tears force their way out. I will not cry. Never. Again. Ever.

I was tested to see if I was a vampire. Apparently, Damon threatened to sue, and got me to stay in school using the law protecting victims of unwanted fights, picking, and such. On the downside, aside from actually having to stay there, was writing these self-letters like a dairy. Soon, I was going to leave this place. Fuck the favor. Me and the Crow were outta here as soon as I could be.

But it felt good to act like someone else; like I wasn't even here anymore. I could be someone else for just a moment. That girl was all weak and meek, and then nailed her in th-. YES!

Then after a second, UGH! I shook myself out of the rage fog again. It was the day I missed being blind-and Khali- the most. I'd felt utterly devoid of life and meaning, lost and lonely after the high.

Sighing, I dropped my pen and shivered. "This is back and forth for me. I'm losing it, aren't I?" The silence was my coffin, so I called to my Crow. Only he could ease the violence of my raven. Inside I imagined Damon's hands and weight holding me in place as I fought. Tension seemed to pour out of me then. Yes, bitterly I thought, "he does understand me too well."

"Please come," I asked shaking with fear and unease. This darkness was full of unseen shadows, and the temperature seemed to have dropped. Emotions were flying through me at an alarming rate.

Why the hell was it always so fucking _dark_ in here? It was like the air held some invisible mass in itself. I looked up to the roof then, and spotted odd shadows. This house had wayyyy to many of those. Outside my friend the Crow cawed at me, and I smiled. I liked Crow. Laughing because it was a stupid name, I rolled my head to one side. He didn't care, and neither had I. Later I'd sneak him into my room so he could be near me. Whenever he was, my dreams were never bad.

All at once, I felt settled and calm as his stare seemed to wrap itself around me like arms. "You're all I have Crow. Don't ever go away." More sadness came and it started to rain outside. One eye peered at me through the window. It was a big house right off the coast line. Most of it was glass; hilarious for a vampire no doubt. If Damon knew about the bird, he'd probably kill it. After I felt a bit more settled I let my mind roam over the first times when I came here.

The first month of sight I had read every hour I wasn't here. Then to TV and computers. I learned how to fight, dance, and learn all within weeks of each other. Online dictionaries, words, photos, I took it all in. The hunters should focus in here rather than mandating crap on the world. This was worse than being chased by antelope. You could get killed in less than a minute for what you were wearing than anything of real value. My god, man. Back to reality, Lily. I leaned over and found my back pack and tore out a page from a folder. Ewe...

And Prom...enough said. Here I was with flier in hand dreading this week.

I've been asked out by one guy, because no one else had balls. It was pathetic really, but I tried to shove the emotion down. Deep down. These impulses have grown the last five months since Damon had rearranged my life. But in all of this I never felt anything like the other kids did. Strong built guys, football players and the works all afraid of me. Even men that were considered beautiful just didn't make my heart race. I was the same on the outside…I just don't fit in socially at all. And I've changed more in the last five months than I ever remember having done. But then I didn't see. And once again, the light was dimming in my sight. Soon, I'd not see another face just like before.

I was glad too.

The tides caught my attention, and I went to stand by the window. My frame was ghostlike in the windows. I looked past myself to the dunes. This time of year the mangroves usually smelled a bit. At least to me. They'd been part of a major restoration thing they'd done here right before the house went up. I'd love to go outside right now, but the sand and wetness made for a big mess.

I grabbed the high tech remote called a 'Handy' and turned the integrated tv on. There were no actual tubes, flat screen or boxes here. He had all the latest innovated shit in this house. I ignored my letter-punishment, flopping on the large leather couch, and sprawling out. The news popped on and I almost regretted it immediately. It was almost a see through type of screen with 3d depth to it. I always thought if you wanted a reason to motivate you to suicide, sit on the news channel for an hour.

Christ almighty…

The damn world is going to shit, I tell you. Vampires! OMG, people...now we are all DNA scanned, there is a world wide data base with our info, and they are thinking of making phones and such integrated wireless computers in the next two years. This Handy would be all over the place, linked to all of your shit. All of this started to get past the compulsion and money that a vampire has to his defense. Also, there is a worldwide credit being established in some areas rather than cash. Some new feat of technology in the palm of your hand made to make cash a thing of the past. It was almost like bartering. You earned credit, spent it or traded it for goods. Truth is, they track you, your habits, and they believe this shit will help them find vampires. And in reality...it could be smart...but these vampires survive by adapting. It's not rocket science.

Bored I flipped it off, and just sat. Why did he never come to see me? "Some vampire you are."

All I remember is waking up five months ago feeling drained, but with the first hints of sight starting again. He'd ordered me to stand with my back to him, oddly. I'd been so happy; I didn't give a rat's ass. Oh, and I sigh when I say this, it was grand seeing things for the first time in so many years. He had yacked on about needing a favor, giving me a life, and staying low. He'd said he'd take care of everything. Kiss my ass with your favor. All of this I shared in images with Crow outside.

And I still went home to an empty house just like with Khali.

Sometimes he would be there, but I was never allowed to look at him. Ever. Fucker would blind fold me for the length of time he was there, and then just disappear. He never touched me, but he'd teach me things like...the piano, the violin, anything I wanted he gave me lessons to. And I took it from him because he pissed me off. Daily I set about making things irritating for him so he'd at least yell. He only laughed. And I cannot remember the sound, or his face, or anything else about him. He must have used compulsion on me when I was out. Figures. For a vampire he was probably morally confused as I was.

Then came the dreams of his voice, and his arms, and all sorts of weird shit. Many times I woke up with nightmares; while others I felt...some deep need. It just escaped me and left me moody in the morning. Never remembering much, I simply went about my days. Today was just another in a series of forgettable ones. The fight…that was something I wanted to bask in and forget all at once.

Time for bed I guess, so I got up from the black soft couch, and headed for my room. The rain was soothing to some degree, and I looked forward to a night of restful sleep. Eh, another day of school. Once in my room, I ignored the fancy furniture and went right to the window and unlocked it. Crow hoped in and flew to the bed where I crawled in next to him. Funny thing, the bird never seemed to shit on any of my stuff. Perfect friend, really, and I smiled at him. I almost wish he would crap on the Victorian style room. It was in bold colors, reds and fancy art work. Who needs all this glam? Not me, I thought and snuggled into the pillow.

Crow hopped on the pillow near my forehead and assumed the sleep position. We drifted off together.

* * *

A day later Lily looked for her note, but found it missing. Panic riddled her heart-shit Damon! The school counselor thought this was a great way to get the things she felt out, but it only made her feel worse. Carefully and slowly, she stood kicking off black dress shoes. Another sucky day at school. Next off came a sweater followed by two shirts and left a strap halter.

The night was cooler now as they approached the October mark. Just another year down the drain, she thought to the aimless silence. She followed her earlier movements taking off blue jeans, black pajama pants and left her shorter shorts on. This is what a teen should look like, she assumed, looking down at her attire.

Time to plan an escape.

"Dim lights," she hollered to the house monitoring system. Not a half second later she was welcomed by the soft darkness of shadows, and a caw from the window. Yay, crow was here.

* * *

Back to Damon's P.O.V.

The situation was dire, but a plan had come to mind. Her letter was in hand and he was simmering with irritation. Crow...she loved crow like she did Khali. What had the bird done to offer anything? Had he not tried for months to earn the girls respect and devotion? But it had been _his_ response to _her_ distress. Action was usually quicker than eyes when it came to the crow.

But it was his crow and his presence inside it. Time for Plan B. She wants to escape…let her. I'll just happen to be there…and see where things go. It can't hurt, he mused. Lily was changing into something he wouldn't be able to control anymore. Power….she was coming into her power. And her power called to his. She'd scared the living shit out of him…the bird…his rage…how they'd coiled together like two strings twisting together in unison. She had no idea.

Thankfully the girl had averted a dire situation catching on quickly and downing her foe before the bird attacked. She'd done it for the animal-_the presence_ she sensed in the animal-more than herself. Epiphany, finally, he mused! This could work for him if he manipulated it right. _He_ was that presence, but she didn't know his actual face. Seems like thinking ahead did him some good for once. Only took five months to get an opening, dammit. Damon smirked from the shadows. She hated the 'man' Damon because he'd left her alone, left her brother to die, and kept her in school. He was a weak vampire to her.

If only she knew how wrong she was.

The way the darkness roared to life in her sang to him. A monumental pause if anything that still perplexed him rose to the surface. It would be too coincidental for her to fight and have the bird attack at the same time. Control would be needed and it would be needed now. Such things caused too many problems right as his plan was ready to launch. It would symbolize a connection to nature and put her under a microscope. Her power was beginning to boom, finally. Timing was ripe...freedom was almost a taste in his mouth. I need her blood...but can I control myself and not kill her?

Officials would look closer at Lily, and it was something he didn't need. These days offenders were blacklisted. For 3 months this bully had been all over Lily. Finally having enough, her rage fueled his, leading the bird to rise in her defense. Lily thought she would escape him without even giving him his due. Besides the fact she was owned by him...

Last night he'd been watching her write and recount her day in her own words. Course he'd watched her from Crows eyes during the school day. Something had happened to her on that day. His rage at her audacity had spurned such emotion that it had poured itself onto her. She'd been without his blood for weeks now, and he was considering how to begin his plan of action. Do I or do I not?

That night, as she slept, she dreamed of ravens, of slaying those that had hurt her...an endless riot of violence. Quickly, sensing this could get out of hand; Damon decided something else was in order. Perhaps she really did need to see him. Just not Damon him, crow him. Real him. He already knew what way would resonate with her and how to bring plan A and C together. She just had to Be there.

With a wicked smile, Damon had finally found a way into the heart of his girls' weakness.


	9. Chapter 7

One for me

Ch.9

Flashback: "The Escape"

A/N: _Escape time. Also, I started a similar story, but with DE so if you like this one check that out. Its on ch.4 now...much the same, but several things were changed to rearrange the story line. I dunno if they will remain the same after these chapters. I wanted to do a forward past version of this since its flashback hell, but I wanted to try it in DE mode and it took off. Enjoy!_

Lily's Pov-

I ran, far and fast as the wind would let me; as quick as the sand I plummeted through. Three more feet had me dashing across A1A, the road that was the last barrier of road between me and the water.

Feet slapping pavement, I hurdled passed oncoming cars with a brisk jump up the curb. A clash of horns and the smash of vehicles permeated my hearing, but I went on as if nothing could faze me. I believe most of the stair ways here had three drops of stairs. What I didn't expect, as my feet clanked upon wood, was the stranger that happened upon me.

"SHIT!" I yelled barreling full on into the stranger coming up from the beach steps. There was no way to slow down, but time seemed to.

Bodies collided, smacking into one another.

"Guff," a male voice grunted, two arms came up in self-defense. We plummeted down a good deal of stairs both grunting along the way. My hip caught the edge of a stair and I howled in pain. Gravity slid its arms around us as the force of my run caught up with us, then ebbed as we came to a stop.

Stair stair stair...ahhhh. Ouch!

He'd taken the brunt of them, head bouncing as he descended with me riding him. My vision was blurred, still feeling as I did after running the treadmill when I tried to stand. The inward motion was threatening to make me vomit, and I reared up.

"Ow," he said grabbing his head.

My body was atop of his, and I struggled to sit up and steady myself. Careful to avoid man parts in the process, I maneuvered my body so that it wasn't weighted so roughly over his. The man had done nothing to me, even still, not grabbing at me. I didn't think he would hurt me, so I had no reason to be an ass to him. This was, after all, my fault.

Both of my hands landed on either side of his head, body ached as I tried to steady myself between him and the wood. Both legs came around so that I straddled the male form, pain gripping my left hip. A sharp hiss escaped my lips as I struggled to not scream. Never show weakness.

When some of the pain subsided, I looked down at the man to see if he was OK...to apologize. At the same time he had brushed his brow for the last time starting to bring that face forward.

Time stopped again and I wavered.

Hush...the wind sighed. Trees rustled in the breeze and we sat there staring at one another. My frickin heart began to race, pumped so thick; I really had to fight not passing out. A moment passed where I was going to die...magnetism pulled me into its dark embrace, enveloping all my sanity with it.

When the strangers' eyes met mine, an instant pull started in my gut, and motion consumed me once more. It was as if my sight had gone all tunnel vision on me. All I could see were his eyes. I felt my body lowering itself closer, and resisted with all the power left in me. A deep seeded ache made itself known, and I became aware I was sitting on top of a stranger...feeling him beneath me...

Electric, sharp, and soul deep blue met cerulean colored eyes. Once our grazes locked, there was no turning back. It just was. I knew I would never be the same again. He made the world around us a haze...

Sitting on top of him as I was, I felt my crotch light up even more, hot flaring fireworks and all. It almost hurt it was so strong, face flared hot red, eyes wide, breathing nothing but a heaving wrecking ball. My limbs were in shock, my earlier pain a distant memory ...something...something I'd never felt before. A fire between my legs...Jesus fuck. We stayed like that, staring, nature having its way with me finally. Now I was among the stupid fools I usually picked at for such things.

Why didn't he move? Was he paralyzed? And damned it to hell, the guy was hot and as intent on me as I was him. Yikes. Yes. Yum.

Now, of all the times to get...horny? I wanted to scream, that's what I felt. So this was the bullshit that all the damned horny teens were so hipped on? I had to agree then. But what do I do, how do I act...WHAT did it mean? I was trying to escape, and landed in the lap of the first man I'd bumped into. And I really wanted a bump back. I was still sitting on him, and wanted to be underneath...

Dammit I need to run, need to go, need to escape...aching...fuck I wanted it more. What was IT?

He made me feel...weak. I couldn't fight the power of his gaze. Something inside was boiling over. I hated weakness, but he commanded my gaze. Every inch of my being was drowning, my sanity too, until all I wanted to do was beg for mercy. "Please..."

Shit, had I just said that out loud?

A soft cry escaped me, but I ignored it. His eyes ventured to my mouth-of all things-and I licked my lips in response. That's it. Just reaction. Some invisible lasso drew me down closer to him, and I was failing resistance. Lower, lower...

My legs shook a quivering that started centrally in me and spread out like a vast display of feminine flames. The most elemental aspects of me seemed to become raw within an instant, reacting, and urging. Inside my muscles kept clenching, wetness started...and his breathing...it also increased. Could he smell the changes in me?

I need, I need...again I felt myself sliding closer to his mouth. STOP!

His voice was soft when he spoke, "You OK?" It was as disjointed as I felt.

My head cocked to one side as I studied this man who had made my cunt come alive. I shut my eyes, tightly, trying to breath. omg, omg...

"Miss?" He said again and slowly moved to sit up with me still in his lap. His hair was black as the night, his eyes bluer than the mid-day sky. His clothes were nice...long shorts mid-calf and khaki, white buttoned shirt open half way open. A barred chest with a soft covering of male hair. How would it feel to nuzzle that space? He was barefoot too.

I just slid with him, mortified, but unable to move or speak. I felt him against me as he sat up, shivers wracking my body. Male to my female primitive...god help me. Just roll us over and do it.

"F-Fine..." it was all I could muster as I closed my eyes. Please, I ranted to my mind, focus!

With one more deep breath, I collected myself, opened my eyes, and stared into blue bliss heavens.

* * *

Damon's P.o.v.

She'd just run for it, and so I had cut her off. The only thing that had come to mind was going where I knew she would try to end up. And without knowing my face, I'd be just another passerby. Plan had gone into action without hesitation.

The beach. Nowadays, the only time people really lingered outside was dusk, dawn or night. The environment had become raven hot in the last few years. It would make sense for me to go there. I already knew her plan, knew her destination and so I reacted.

As if on cue, I'd managed to make it there just as I heard her jump the curb. Fast little shit she was.

Next came a head on collision that left us tumbling to the bottom of the stairs. My head...Christ it hurt. I was feigning the hurt bystander, rubbing my head when our eyes met. It was the first time she remembered it, so the experience was new to her. But something else happened I was not ready for.

Her response.

It seemed that the essential drawing feeling was not lost on her any more than it had been on me. Years of it, in fact. Part of my inner glowing fool was satisfied that it was mutual. But then everything else seemed to stand aside.

Her lips parted and I was gone. I could smell the reaction in the air, her desire...her confusion. Her "please." Each thump of her heart and I could feel her insides coiling. I could feel the power of that need and tried to draw away. I tried to question her, to sit up, but she was like a deer in head lights.

My power thumbed through the mass of her body igniting the seeds of desire. I hated to do this, but Klaus wanted the bracelet. I knew just one thing...the reason it was on her. What she was. I knew when she became a 'woman', it would come off. All it did was attach to the chosen ancient that was next in line.

I'd hit the old texts this evening. Some of the markings predated Sumerian ones, but it lead me to think. Many had to do with God, woman-the stages of woman. Nothing too specific. I gathered that would've been lost with time.

Back in the earliest days in time, women were so much more powerful than now. Baring children was power, and they had been revered unlike today. It made sense, ironically, that this would be the way. I'd have to seduce her in order to get it back from her. But then I would be called back to Klaus...

If I gave it to him, it wouldn't belong to Tatia. It would be long to her. And he wouldn't get an answer from his lost lover. That would keep Lily safe until I could get them together. With us moving though…that poised a problem. Bonding Lily to me was the only way to get her to follow me.

I'd need her blood. And her will to bend to mine. There was no time left to use the plan I had wanted...he was moving us back to Virginia shortly. Looked pretty much like I'd have to bind her closer to me. Just like I did with Crow. Or get the crow to follow me…one or the other.

My cock burst to life as she sat in my lap. The girl sat completely frozen, forgetting she was trying to escape-well me. She just didn't know me as me. I was Damon, but I'd never let her see my face and remember it. This changed everything...her inner needs were begging...I could not fight whatever was happening between us. Not that I found I wanted too.

"Miss?" For the second time I tried to draw out her focus. Whatever had taken place within her...it was controlling both of us now. If she didn't get a hold of herself soon, I would. Think Damon, THINK. She's still too young. Her birthday was coming up in a few weeks, but she was like his child. Id saved her, molded her, and taught her.

It didn't seem right to feel this way. You're almost 200 years old, Damon. The point is moot with every woman. They are all old enough to be children to you.

Her 'please' rang in my ears, and she drew closer to me once more. Dammit-resist!

She began to smell me then, and my dick argued against tight pants. I rolled my eyes and dipped my head back...what she was doing to me.

I'd never once looked at her this way. Hell, I'd even taken a more parental approach towards her, rather than sexual. But here she was coming alive in my lap. And I was the lap dog salivating. It had been nearly fifty years...

* * *

Fate: It had begun.

Finally two pieces of the same whole had collided as Fate deemed some time ago. Two centuries had passed, but they were finally where they should be. Elena was with Stefan, and Lily was with Damon. Damon and Elena had suffered the most from all of this. Had Tatia done her job, she should have come into her powers and done the world good. But choice-the lingering theme in all this-had to play out. Her choices had directly affected humanity, and the lives of four people that were important to the plan.

She'd unleashed hell in a manner of speaking. But Fate was not pleased with Damon Salvatore right now.

Fate considered the puzzle with great sorrow. It had created a plan for two brothers and two sisters forever ago. Whatever 'thing' or God that had created them, Fate did not know. As IT probably didn't know about Fate. All of this worked together when each part did its piece creating the ultimate life spans, the world, and life. Just as math could plot out time and equations; just as science had its reasons, reactions, and evolutions. Everything was built to fit together.

But Tatia's failure had undone all of that. These souls were old, waiting to be born while others suffered in waiting for their other halves. Katerina (Katherine now), the most like Tatia in her last days, was nothing but a means to an end. She was born into darkness' curse and suffered bringing out the very same type of characteristics that Tatia had become. Her life would be empty-her soul mate having passed on centuries before her birth. Ironic how she'd happened on the Salvatore brothers. Maybe the plan did work-even if it was a backward way. For they had lived on, and finally found their other halves.

Damon was about to hurt _her_.

Katherine's soul had withered alone, died alone, and grew darker without meaning. The waiting, the lack of human connection, the curse...Fate was deeply saddened. Her love for Stefan resembling the closest link to that which had long passed. Angered Fate had looked on with remorse. Two sister souls waiting to be born would lose their mates to another devilish woman out for herself. Just like Klaus and Elijah had. Look where they were. Look where the brothers had followed. Stefan was an ancestor soul of the man meant for her.

Katherine would never be at ease, never stop trying to win Stefan's heart. Katherine thought he was the one, but that man had long died before she was born. No one would ever sway her differently. Then finally, Elena had been born. And she had found her way to Stefan, pausing when she felt the first spark with Damon out on that road. Brothers...their close family bond, their similar souls energizing Elena. He'd made her forget...and then Stefan had ruled her world through perilous times. She always came back to Damon...she'd never know herself, because Tatia had died before she had. It hoped that in death things would be clear. Elena still pondered what she could have never known. She'd never feel satisfied either way. Elena would never be able to make that choice in love, life, light or dark.

Lily could help her, but Fate gandered that their sister souls would be at war. Two alike in such close quarters was not the best idea. And what would Stefan feel about Lily? Only time would tell. He was not bound by the same curse that Elena was. Would they be drawn together as Katharine was to him? Stefan had become faintly uneasy wondering if Elena would ever really choose him. It left him feeling unsatisfied and alone though he knew she was his. Damon was more desperate because Elena was the closest thing to what he needed. Lily. He just didn't know that yet.

Damon had been drawn to her because she was the same _thing_ as Lily. Part of an ancient. And the confusion had started in young Elena, another vicious cycle, between her and two men that represented her dueling nature. The nature of choosing a side. A side Tatia had never chosen. A side not meant for Elena and not part of her make up. Just a curse. Just as Katherine .

What was 'right' sat in his lap, budding into her power. Eyes were windows to the soul, as was apparent in the way they ached for one another; the way they came alive face to face. All he could think about was the sexual aspect, having been hurt so many times. All he considered was to keep her safe so he could use her. Hurt her. Fate had no choices. Warning her now would only confuse her more. The mind of this one as already confused and broken...and Fate saw that if Damon seduced her...things would change for them both.

To come into contact with your twin flame was to never leave the same again. If they mated...all hell would break close if torn apart.

Her trust would die. Her mind would scar. All he thought of was himself. Fate knew that Damon would not be able to walk away after he slept with her. It was not how it had been designed. The instinct to protect her as his own was there, but he was still searching for Elena.

Lily was searching for him, him needing her more than ever.

For the first time in years, Fate felt the demise of everything weigh on its shoulders. Humanity and it wicked tendencies...

Perhaps there was more to the plan than even Fate knew. Looking back, Stefan and Elena remained together still.

And to Stefan, feeling the draw of Katherine was confusing. It was the same connection that he would have felt for Elena. He would have died just as unhappy never getting to know her unless he was turned. That had worked in Fates favor. While never being the perfect plan, Fate hardly considered it coincidental.

Each child born of that line carried the curse with it. Each 500 years an innocent soul would have to suffer its price. And the plan seemed to try to come back to itself. Katherine meeting Stefan and Damon when it should have been Elena and Lily had been a huge blow. How she'd become a vampire...turning them too. That had saved them for their soul mates now.

Each life pushed out years ahead, creating a five hundred year span between the plan and reality-between what should have been and what was. Katherine, Elena, and now Lily were all affected by her one bad choice. 1000 years later Damon had finally met the One for him.

DNA had cultured the poor soul as bad as what happened to her socially.

Katherine's life should have placed her centuries before she ever faced the Salvatore brothers and then opted to turn them as a result. Having a child only created more ripples in the plan. It made the line linger on in a place that was not allotted for a line of doubles. Souls were being meshed in the overlapping destinies of others. Soon there were misplaced people centuries apart from one another.

Elena and Lily were to be born twin sisters during Stefan and Damon's human life. The body she'd be born into was a cursed body, a replica, pushed out 500 years more. It was then that she would have been happy and free of such a curse. But the vampires had changed that. Katherine had been born well over 400 years after when she was supposed to have been born. That Elena had lived on had prevented Lily's birth. Now that she'd been turned…Lily had arrived at the moment of her death.

Like she was cursed to do, she repeated the same cycle further perpetuating ripples in the plan. Each person they killed interacted with throughout the balance. New changes were being made to counter that, but it had become too much. Would he be able to catch her before she fell?

Perhaps Lily could fix the things Tatia had not. Maybe she would give peace to the other doppelgangers and set them free, fix the cursed wolves from Klaus and his plans. No one would know until she came into her power. Fate just hoped it wouldn't occur in pain.

It was in Lily's hands now.

But she was in Damon's calculating ones. That was the scariest part in all of this.

* * *

Lily's eyes were fixated on his mouth, and he hadn't pulled away.

They sat on the stairs still, her in his lap and he'd turned them so that the length of the stair was to their backs. Damon seemed whisked away in her gaze.

Such beautiful and soulful eyes, he thought closed mouth. He'd seen her almost every day since bringing her here, yet not in the way he was now. Her body trembled against his in sighting a deep lust that he wanted nothing more to explore.

Carefully, slowly, he moved forward of his own accord. His lips brushed against hers ever so slightly, and his entire mouth went dry. He hadn't felt this worked up since Elena. Fifty years of no sex didn't help…

Still…

Her allure gave him a comfort he hadn't felt in a long time. His hands petted her hair, his eyes roamed her face. Their gazes took one another in with a type of new wonder, until they met once more.

Passion burned heavy and thick drawing them in with more urgency that before. This time he didn't resist as her lips brushed against his. Her kiss was innocent, but she caught on quickly.

Fuck…he moaned as she nibbled on his lips. His hand found the roundness of her shoulder and circled once, twice, then dipped down lower. A breast with a perked nipple met the center of his palm and she moaned against him head falling back. His mouth found her neck then, trailing along her throat to the lobe of her ear. It was his turn to nibble. Tongue darting out, her hips met the same rhythm he made.

Eventually, her hands roamed over his chest, through his shirt. She's inexperienced…he could tell, but without hesitation. Would she let them continue?

Damon had no idea, but wondering made it that much sweeter. "I want you," he half moaned against her lips. Without waiting for an answer he turned them once more laying her against the stairs. This had to be the single most extraordinary moment of his life. Who did this happen to?

She considered him from below, her eyes glazed over with passion and her newly found desire. His hips rounded against her making the choice clear. She wanted him….but….

A hand gripped her hip, slowly tracing inwardly along her thigh until he circled the tops of her pants. Jesus, she panted against his palm. He's so unearthly beautiful…


	10. Chapter 8

A/N: Warning, mention of a sexual act that was forced is lightly hinted at. N_otice the chapter __numbers may__ not line up. I redid the order and some were fix and others not. This would have been ten, but it is now 8__. __I also started a DE version of this story that starts the same, but see__m__s to be going a diff way.__ Much of the text is the same, but the scenario was changed so watch out for it. Elena is much different than Lily.__ s/8290533/1/A_Darker_Love__Hope you like this one, enjoy!_

The One For Me

Chapter 10 (8 now)

Present time

Alarm clocks, yes, thank god for old shit.

Vintage things made for the saving grace that was me, Lily thought to herself jolting awake. Somehow she'd known he'd go in for the kill like that. The alarm was a great way out of a situation she couldn't control. Like dreams for instance. And his head would hurt, she smiled sweetly.

Well for a second really. Damn vampires, she thought shaking her head.

Too bad they don't make these anymore. She had a common tendency to toss them across the room each morning they buzzed. Some days it was this wall or that, others she'd move it across the room so she had to get up, walk over there, and turn it off. It's a wonder they were even possible, used, and so popular back in the day. Oh, yikes when the noise buzzed. It was just as bad as nails on a chalk board. Just another one of those things that was popular and got under your skin until all you could do was cringe. Now everything was a Handy. A world lost in the 'All in One' mentality. With a deep breath, Lily sat up straighter as the aching began to stir in her center.

Oh that, she cringed yet again. That longing deep seeded desire that was never sated when he did that to her in sleep. "Christ I'm hornier than a buck in mating season. Just hand me the nearest vibrator,"…eh, it didn't work that easily for me, she finished a little low.

Those fucking dreams of his… _clench_. Her back became erect when the jolt surged through her like lightning across a cloudy sky. Lily bit her lip and moaned outwardly as the sensation riled through her form on the bed. What she lacked in the ability to find release, she sure made up for in prolonged sensation.

Inadvertently, her legs parted slightly as if an imaginary lover could ease her needs**. As if**, she grumbled inwardly. Still, she found her hands making their way down; one along her smooth stomach, one pausing to pluck a hardened nipple. She passed her stomach after circling low a few times. Should I try it? Fingers flicked gently, off to the left side of wayyyy too wired clit nerves, and a jolt ran down her spine arching her upwards. "Oh God," she panted, squeezing her eyes shut.

"_Oh__ fuck me_," again. She gathered women felt like this after several intense ones. Not like she was one to ask other women about their sex lives, but she often overheard. It felt too good, & she gasped as the feeling ebbed some. Tiny dancing yellow spots lit her line of vision, and her eyes relaxed open once more. Here I am doing the two finger sweep to the things this bastard evoked in me. She smiled at the little nickname she gave to fondling. She went on, anything to stop the ache that only grew.

_Don't let me interrupt_, came a familiar voice in her head.

Son of a bitch-Damon?

_Who else? _Then came his soft laugh at her expense_. Seems a little of your blood works wonders for our little bond. __Hmmm, I see what you are doing. My, it feels good. I can feel it in my head as if you were doing it to me. It would be so sad to come without me inside you. In fact, _his voice sang with amusement_, hold that thought. _

Dammit…the pleasure peaked right where it always did, right before release came. But she never was able to finish alone. "Ahhhhh," she howled in frustration. IT had to be his doing.

_I can give you pleasure-if you ask me nicely._

About that….Lily grabbed a pillow, tossed it over her head and screamed death threats to Damon Salvatore. You-

_My ears hurt, woman, and an unexpected exit that surprised me. I hate waiting, Lily. I really, really do. A dream is such a nice setting, don't you think?_

She thought to him, You should work on patience, Damon_._

_Now I'__m pissed__. __As always, creative, but you can wait in need too. __I believe I owe you one for how you left me hanging. __I could make you feel so much better than your hand. Although, I would love to watch you…__maybe next time._His voice grew irate. _Or I can come find you…__perhaps use my mouth where your hand is?_

The pillow shredded in her hands.

Cotton flaked into the air and fell over a now limp body and a face glaring at the heavens. _FUCK_, I can't even vent rightly. Oh I'm gonna kick your ass…no next time! No more sex with him, Lily. Stop, stop. Christ I'm so worked up I could kill a-

_Tell me when and where_, his voice lulled her from not too far. _You know there will be one__, and another and another__. I've fucked you, made love to you…which do you __prefer_? She felt the impression of his eye brows going up and down.

Seriously?

Shit he's getting closer, she thought trying to place him. Smugly, he blocked her with no effort at all.

_Uh-uh. _An imaginary finger waved inside her thoughts_. _She saw him then, dressed in a suit, lean against his body_. _His smile was swift, aggressive, and unquestionable. He had an almost mocking grin splay across those lips. Oh god those lips_…_His form sat in a chair where he was relaxed, and he stood walking to a building window.

His view was spectacular to say the least.In a fine sheen, his figure and face reflected back at her as he would see it. Legs partially separated, hands in his pockets, hair evenly gelled back. It appeared like he was wearing a gray suit with black pin stripes that nearly lost themselves in the fine fabric. There, in that moment, she could have punched him. Damon casually grinned wider giving her a full on half face smirk. Next his eyes became nothing but slits, two fingers met his lips, and the fucker blew her a kiss. _I am indeed__ close__, lover__.__In fact, you're so close I could just feel you shivering as we speak. __You see me as I see you, __lying__ in __bed;__ legs parted like you are waiting for me.__ You know I can create shadows that touch you from here…._

Don't_._

You are full so of yourself, she mocked him with bravado she couldn't muster. Damn now he's playing on words I say.

_Not really. It would be one thing to be over confident, but you forget I know you. There is no need to be over confident. It just is. __Remember your need rules us__ as do your emotions__. I am a slave to my needs__-and yours sometimes. You could hardly blame a man__. It's all about control Lily_…she felt him laugh.

An extra forceful sigh lit the air, and she sat up again. "Why do I ever think that will work differently," she bitched. "He probably compelled it that way when I was out of it. He knows that if you fight, and he wins-which he always does-that he'll get to mount you like some dog or play his games." Why had she decided to talk out loud? Venting.

_You love it when I have control over you. It makes you feel safe, secure, and-_

"Slutty." She noted he didn't refute the compelling comment. Asshole.

_Like a woman in a man's capable hands. Free to be a girl, a woman, relaxed. Free to enjoy the feelings and sensations that you know only I can give. You are strong, and for someone to command your lead, they must be stronger than you. Like an animal that finds a suitable mate…she chooses him. You can't help but chose me, it's written in your very nature._

Don't start that, she retorted. You wouldn't understand-

_Don't I though? It is why you keep putting yourself in my hands. It is why you surrender after a long display of…feathers and fighting. _

I am not like you_._

_You are __**just**__ like me, Lily. __You make me fiddle with the displays of power, and then come like liquid butter to me. Like a moth to the flame you draw me in. __We fight and brawl, we love fiercely, we screw harder, and we love it. We are not perfect, but for one another we are. __You know I am the one for you, as you are the one for me._

The one whose ass I will kick.

_Please do._

You are not worth anything more than a fuck, and you only hover because you can use me. Klaus wasn't enough. Nothing ever is with you Damon, she bit out at him angrily. 'The other 5 prove it. Even stealing Elena from your brother wasn't. You are never satisfied for long, and I am not interested. Of course I screw you…to shut you up. It's not like there are many people I respond with. It's logic, nothing special'. Hell, I'd screw a pole if you let me get off.

_We've been through this. You know it started that way and became more._ He showed her the time they bumped into one another on the stairs. _This is not the way two normal people feel-_

I am not normal. You saw to that. Body quivering, she gasped with just the memory alone. Just so needy and hot for him, the wet liquid pooling into her panties irritated her. "Oh for fuck sake, Damon. There is more to life than sex. No wonder Elena stayed with Stefan." The damned bastard had done it again...in my head no less now he's stalking me in it, trying to tell me the way of the world. Let him have it, she told herself.

He remained focused, pushing. Always pushing. The Elena comment hadn't fazed him-or so he didn't let on. _I want you, Lily. Only you can cure our desire. I can't force you.__I knew you__ were mine from the moment I first held you._

That was certainly weird to say. All you do is force me, Damon.

His voice became angry then_. No I __**don't**_. _I push as far as you let me. You have more control than you think. Mastering is different. But you love when I master you, don't you?__ You love how I know you so well. Only I can, and only I will. Remember what I said about Julian. You are mine and I don't want that wolf pissing near what's __mine. He may have John on his trail anyway._

Of course, that sums it up. John the hunter out to track poor helpless Damon_._

He'd snagged me when I let my guard down to help him. Her mind wandered back to the first time. It was still like that, that magnetism, that raw undying achy need… 'let me just sit in your lap again and have your way with me'. He always found some way to get her all worked up to the point she could dry hump a pillow. Well, its shredded now, go figure. But this was more important. Everyone else was at stake, even if it meant closing him off.

I can learn to forget you, she said more to herself than him. Her spirit brightened some at the thought. Part of her felt selfless even still. Maybe that's a destructive part of my nature too. I've let him in too far, slept with him even. What's to say he won't finish that bond if he or I lose control? Think of all the lives that could be in endless suffering. Somehow…another weight took the place of the last. It nagged her serenity, and her heart. Things she didn't understand were always at war within her.

_Yes, like the first time. I can feel your cunt tight around me…it feels so perfect, wet, so tight, like a drug. You need…_

"Damon…" Lily warned him.

_The way I can read your mind and body…_

She felt the same about his state of being often enough too. Her limbs began to shake as she fought to stay clear headed.

_Your innocence yielding to me…the long thrust…_

"Stop it." Finally, she spoke aloud. "Get out of my head."

_No_.

Why did her body yield so perfectly to him? Like a mist in the air her resolve just kept dissolving. She almost felt the same as the day she'd landed in his lap. Oh god _yes_. The feel of his cock harder than a rod just there in his pants, waiting for her. The sound of his passionate moans rang in her ears as he willed her to hear them. The surprise, the longing, the gratification…Just like when they'd been strangers; _god_ that night. She'd just lain there, willing, needy, and stupid.

_You know you do not want me to stop._

It wasn't about clearing her head of his fog. It wasn't just sex or need and or even lust. It was something so elemental…like water was to life. "I hate you," was all that came out. He'd seduced her for the artifact Klaus wanted and then he'd left her. A pain deeper than hell gripped her, mystified her, and the rest of the evening was a blank.

_I know you don't._

Don't fake tender, it doesn't suit you.

_I don't have a tender bone in me, Lily. Klaus beat the living hell, humanity, and the 'give a shit button' out of me. Perhaps Stefan is the one you mistake me for? There was no power involved in that night. That is just the way we are together. I need you, I want you, and I took you._

I don't know Stefan, idiot. You run to the hills if I mention his name. Clarity intervened ruining her revere. Well, the first half of it anyway. That hadn't been making love. Oh hell no. He'd fucked her silly, with raw abandoned and unleashed need. That dull ache roared back to life, and jolted her up straight once more. He took her innocence, her mind, and the artifact all within moments of each other. Then Klaus had found her…his eyes…rage…

…wait. What? Images of him holding her….tears… "Damon?" Just like that her mind went blank.


	11. Chapter 9

The One For Me

Chapter 9 (11)

Tender

Damon fought for control, her comments sent him reeling. She had no idea what they had been through. This is why he was doing things a certain way…to prepare her. He still didn't let her remember it. Then he didn't blame her for her contempt-she just didn't know. This was extremely frustrating-not being allowed to show her, tell her, anything.

The blank she felt was a warning to him-back off. Damon always knew when she'd reach the breaking point, just like an animal has instinct. He'd set out to use her, and he had. But during the course of events…after that night something had changed within him. Only a few nights ago he'd even let her remember the _very_ first time. Then they'd had sex again, made love.

John had fucked up a very important, a very special moment between them.

She said tender didn't suit him, and he'd been raw that night. Seeing her reaction to him, her acceptance of him, and the way she'd set him free only for him to abandon her like that. Stripping everything he'd given her away, the resulting chain of events, the pain she'd learned to love. He killed the crow too. Love was never the same as just sex. Never the same as pain. Yet she was lost somewhere in hell between the two. A place he'd have to find her. Her mind, he gathered, was split into two sides right now.

He'd heard of this connection before. One he thought resided within Elena and him. But that was not the case. He loved Elena, but she'd left him. Just as he'd left Lily to get free of Klaus and find Elena. Once he'd found her though…it wasn't the same. She was willing to hold him, love him even…she'd explained everything. Somehow none of it was worth all he'd lost. He'd learned all of that the hard way.

Then he realized it was _her_ pain. She was he, and he was her.

All he could think about was Lily. All he could feel was Lily's pain. It didn't matter how far he went, she invaded his being. And it seemed the farther away he went, the more he was punished for it. He'd lingered here and there…which is how Klaus had learned of her. He'd been careless.

Damon had been aloof after he'd seduced her, but just enough to warrant her curiosity into digging deeper. Then he painted the perfect picture of pain, beatings, everything to win her devotion. He even went as far as leaving his wounds open. He drew her in to Klaus. Plan A and C needed B. And she'd found him, tried to save him, killed Klaus.

He'd left her, killed the bird linking them, and ran to Elena.

Klaus spilled the beans before he met his death. Oh, yes. Not before he called her a fool and told her Damon had played her.

All he knew was her hatred when Klaus found her when he arose yet again.

That asshole had more lives than a damn cat, Damon grimaced. Of course he had a backup plan-that was Klaus. His curiosity about Lily was subjective at first. He'd understood the artifact didn't work because there was a new ancient who'd worn it. He knew she could kill him. No Tatia or saved (human) Elena for him. And she'd been deflowered so her power would only grow. Klaus hesitated when trying to figure out Damon's plan, and careful to avoid a head on fight with an ancient.

Then there was the more obvious connection: The girl lived when almost everyone else died when tasting Damon's blood. His blood was cursed and that shouldn't happen. Again Klaus was smart to use her against him because he figured it out even before Damon. And he'd made Damon watch every damn moment of the things he'd done to Lily after he'd risen. He didn't kill her because she could be useful-well her blood.

They were soul mates. So much more…

The things she'd had to endure after she thought Klaus had died made his stomach falter. Then the truth of realization had shattered her. The plan had worked. Executed perfectly. Until the

aftermath set in. Klaus rose, found Lily, and tortured her every minute of every hour of every day.

Then Klaus had vowed his revenge. And he'd reminded her of it often. He'd done things to her…things Damon could feel crawling up his spine and through his skin. Depravity. It made him raw with rage, just as Klaus had desired. He knew that Damon would hate that Klaus touched her, and he had-everywhere.

Damon remembered those days…beatings a half century's worth, and things a man can't exactly experience. His heart mourned what he'd done to the girl. Even when he thought he was out of humanity, she'd reminded him of it. He could not run from it any more than he could himself. But he was not going to beg.

He should, Damon knew that much. His face grew serious as he thought about their conversation. She was moving away from him…towards a cause. That was good…he figured. Maybe it was the right thing to do…let her go. But he wanted her to know their love wouldn't hurt. No matter what they thought, no matter the control she lost…

She didn't care. That was his fault.

He'd been a shit to her, but something inside his very _soul_ burned with an intensity to fix it. All those months of watching her, the bond between her, the crow. Even above seeing Elena. He always played games, and it frustrated the living shit out of her. But he had come to …love her.

In his own twisted way. Her words came from a place she couldn't remember. It was all he could do to preserve the woman that once was. If he was not careful, he would blow the compulsion wide open. She'd settled back when he remained quiet. And he simply watched her wondering if he could ever free her from that prison she was in. His compulsion was a box barley holding her sanity together. Its walls her prison of a short time not worth remembering. That she started to understand that made it harder.

Damon felt terror for the second time in such a short time. Losing her was losing life.

For her he did all he could in place of his bad choices that had lead her there. He blocked out the beatings, the rapes, and the emptiness. Everything except what he had done. But the loss was too much…her brother, the crow, him…

Some where she knew, just like Jeremy had. The pain never falters. It was like part of them never forgot despite the compulsion to. His only fear was losing control of those memories and losing her to death once she remembered.

"I hate him," she ranted from the bed she laid in alone.

"I hate me too, lover." He spoke to empty walls and glass. After a moment, he really looked at her. She seemed tired and worn, so he let go of his desire the best he could. Within moments, hers faded and she'd fallen asleep.

If only you knew the things you cannot remember…

Ten minutes later, he entered her room to watch her sleep. Amazing what peace looks like, he thought to himself. She nearly looked like someone else nowadays. A stray tear fell from his eyes and danced its way down a very old and dry cheek. Like a rose, you are my humanity. If only I could find the strength to let you be. I'm afraid you'll pass away into this darkness too. For the first time in a long time, Damon felt unsure of his direction, his choices, and the road he was on with her.

With that, he took the rose from his breast pocket and left it beside her pillow. This one was white, and not red. This represented what he cherished most about her.

Morning came early. Wow, she thought surprised. I slept all damn night.

She sat up and gripped the sheet to her chest feeling uneasy. Great, just great she thought. Now my cunt aches. Eyes beginning to tear, she shrugged them off. It's not like she enjoyed how he treated her, more that she needed it. Others would argue the feminine case for that... I'm just fucked up, she thought to herself. The problem is that I command a stronger personality than my own. That's the only way….her head shook with regret. See, he does know you.

She placed a hand down to anchor herself out of bed when something sharp stabbed her. It's too damn early for this shit, c'mon. Carefully she sucked at the pinch and tossed the sheet with her free hand.

A white rose.

He'd _been_ here. Right here.

He hadn't bothered her, woken her up, or tried anything. Carefully she looked around to the door that was still locked. Ah, he'd come as a shadow.

It was that he made her _feel_. Like right now, her mind was confused at the sweet gesture. Problem is, Lily, she straight line her thoughts, he's using you still. Just like him, she ranted on mentally. Whatever he'd once been…Elena had done something to it. I am sure of it, she considered for sometimes. I am not one to save anyone. Not even myself. But if I had loved someone, she thought on, and they didn't even look for me….

Damon didn't understand that kind of thought. If you loved, you did it passionately. You did all you could to save them. And no one had for him. Elena had backed off. Not all people were the same-Lily understood that. She just never understood the things Elena did.

Time to meet the bitch.

Damon disappeared from her head and she felt relieved. All people did was use her. Maybe if I don't feel, yet...control myself...I can do something with my life. Far, far away from that bastard. Part of her knew Damon wanted her-needed her even. But he'd blown his chances with her.

Looking down, he must have enjoyed the nude show. She hated sleeping with clothes on.

There is something that beat to a drum no one could hear, within her heart. As cold as she could be, it was nothing to the warmth she had inside despite it. Maybe he did too. Maybe he was right, but she wasn't going to let him in either way. He was a dark one…he was a product of time and his vampire emotion. Hell a slave to darker desires.

I don't want that to be me, she thought to herself. It's always about choices and what you make of them, Lily. The wind picked up swiftly, and she felt a oneness within its silent song. She stood nearing the motel window and peaked out. No one there, but she felt eyes…not his eyes…not bad eyes.

Lily shivered despite herself.

Even in the wild, the only thing she could relate to there was love, devotion, and loyalty. Like a force driving her mad, there was a desire for her to do something, be someone. It was right _there_...but it always escaped her. A wave of sorrow beat at her chest, and she struggled for air. God help me, she cried inwardly.

Why am I so hated? Why is it so fucking hard to find a place as just one of the others? Why don't I think or act like normal people? It can't be that hard, she thought fiercely. She was smart, had a nice face, she was physically strong. I could pretend to be anyone, but never myself, she concluded. Surely she could overcome the past? _Who do I want to be_, reverberated in her thoughts.

Someone who does something with their life. Something good, decent and memorable for those on the receiving end. Something grand but silent. Somewhere and some place she could be the shadow.

Just like she wanted from Damon. Is that why I seek him out? To drown myself in someone else? Someone capable….wait-don't go there. Understand, but stand tall. Stand alone. Be alone.

Epiphany alert! To get lost in his shadow. Lost and loved. Protected…oh no, she thought to herself. He was right. She fell into him because there was nothing else-nowhere else to go.

Why? That was the most dangerous place to be. She'd been there once…well….that had been sex. But then he'd used me…we never really…went there.

And we won't. Her mind disagreed…

Hmm, she'd never considered that. Not like _he_ would let her. Maybe he is the problem, Lily. That's why you are going to chin up, shoulders back, and tell him to fuck off. Next, you'll get the rest of these idiots to help you. Get rid of 5 more in time, and then be free of his hold. Something within rose to the challenge. I am strong. I am woman hear me roar, oh and get the fuck out my way.

I'd loved you once…Damon. Now you are nothing more than the past. The sooner I let you go, the better. Lily took a deep breath and thought about Julian. It had been ages since they'd talked. John would try to kill her, and so she'd not risked searching for him.

These were hard and dangerous times.

But you are like the rest, too. You judge me based on what you think I will do rather than what I may do. Knowing Damon's whereabouts was not going to be hard to figure out. No doubt, she figured, it was time to meet his old friends. Time to see about getting the rest of the five dead and gone.

It took her two days to figure out where they would meet, and she hugged herself outside the building. It was 106 degrees out here, another lovely unwelcome change that was the new precedent of this age.

It was cliche'...people meeting in an old abandoned building. Hey, she said to herself, at least it never gets old.

After deciding to tempt fate, Lily found herself a talisman that would hide her presence for three hours once activated. She smirked under heavily lidded black lashes. Damon had met Stefan and Elena not too long ago, but it was time she met them. What was this fuss she had stumbled into just a few years ago.

And Katherine…hmmm. She looks just like her. Hope she doesn't piss me off right off the bat. Then I'll have Stefan on my case. Wonder why Damon was a no meet family clause up his ass? Hey at least I don't look like the last two, she snickered to herself.

I am only one person, she considered. Not one for pack behavior, and he'll shit when he sees me, she thought on. Hell, the day couldn't get any brighter-sweat dripped down the small of her back. Never mind that, she mouthed to empty air. It's hotter than an oven out here.

Stefan wanted this artifact. Did he even know it meant nothing now? Damon had seen to that those years ago. On the beach, on the stairs. Hmm nothing and she smiled again. That hadn't worked out in her favor last night. Pain gripped her heart and she walled herself off to it. Not now, Lily.

_A/N: what's gotten blocked in Lily's head? How will she react to meeting Elena, and Stefan? How will Damon feel meeting Julian? Also the FB chapter will come after the meeting one. So by then we will know what is at stake here Just about done with the flash backs. Last one will be the night in question…I hope._


	12. Chapter 10

One for Me

Ch.12

A/n: _some mystery to add to the fold here. Had to do a re-read on this one. Sorry for the long update time, I had some block. I'll do some editing on previous chapters shortly. It's a bit too wordy in some parts._

Julian sat across from me in the dim light of a burning fire. It had been weeks since I had felt the call of Damon's mind, and while this was good, I felt empty. Julian and I had been an item for a short while, and it never panned out, but I loved his company. He made me feel safe in a way I hadn't in a very long time.

His hair was a long set of waves, brown yet golden by the late day sun. He radiated warmth from every pour and I found part of myself helplessly bound and comforted by his words. He was tall, a good foot above me, jean pants and a long sleeve shirt that just brought out his features. As of the recent weeks he was leading the wolves in John's absence. Me being near him was a chance I had to take, I needed answers. I'd come here because Julian had a way with figuring things out that were not obvious to most. I was desperate enough to risk John finding me just to get them.

His pacing was slow and thoughtful. It must have been something I said, but what, I wondered was causing him to be so cautious?

"So, you came back from being on the run…"

I nodded staring into the fire light. "I feel this _need_…" I placed a hand over my chest. "It's like some god awful weight on me." He sat and I trailed off not knowing what else to say.

Julian sat forward studying me. "So, did you ever find out what that artifact meant?"

I turned my head to look into golden eyes. "Something changed after we…" I couldn't meet his eyes. "I am different somehow. Aside the time I lost. We…" I struggled to tell him I'd had sex with Damon, let alone twice. "We kind of..."

"-had sex?" His voice was an octave to high and it was grainy with the distaste he felt. "We'll as long as he didn't give you more blood before that…you should be OK. But he's the biggest thing since Klaus, Lily. I'm surprised. What if you die-or turn after?"

"Does it matter how many times?"

"Lily-you _didn't_." I visibly sagged at his tone. I had never been that type of girl. We'd met while I'd been on the run after the first time. It hadn't been long after that that I'd had the blackouts. I'd just told him I realized I'd even had them. It seemed like since I remembered them at all, things had gone south really fast for me.

"Tell me I am not bound. His hold…why am I feeling this way?"

"Lily-" he said again and caught himself. "You have blank spots he obviously made you forget. He's the downright worst thing-complete darkness and malevolence…and you slept with him _twice_?"

"I don't need judgments. I need _help_." His tone changed at that, which was nearly startling to me.

He stood wiping a hand over his mouth as he paced in front of the fire. "I don't know. This is unlike anything we know of. Vampires don't bind people." He stilled after a time and his eyes became wide.

I offered all I had to give as far as information. "He bound Elena." And as I watched him, he was picking his words carefully. "Say what you have to say, Julian."

He eyed me, "I can't."

What the hell? "_Why_?" I sat forward and he waved a hand at me. He started pacing again. "Besides, she turned. It's different and rare but not uncommon."

"Just tell me." I could see he was upset, and rightfully so. "I don't want this-this thing following me. These situations are getting more intense. My need for pain is…"

Julian cocked his head to the side. "Pain?" Again he stopped.

I hadn't told him about it. When I looked up, I feared what telling him would do to how he saw me. Tears actually filled my eyes, but this was him, and he was the only one I could tell. Somehow I just _knew_ that.

"Sounds like some kind of stress factor. Like victims of attacks-they recluse or get _too_ involved. The trick is to find out what he did to you, and why he made you forget it"

"It's easy isn't it? To use me. And I'm scared." It was all I could say. These feelings inside me had been surfacing ever since I'd let him touch me. I didn't remember a series of months, and Damon wouldn't let me have them back. What had happened to me? "He says there are five people that cursed him. We killed Klaus so now there are four more until he should get weaker. Or free."

He laughed bitterly, "Why would he want that?"

I watched him move back to the couch and sit beside me. "Even if he tries, Bonnie's spell is very clear. They can hardly control themselves."

"He says he can if _I_ control _myself_." We stared at one another. "But everything kind of buzzes away when he's near...and all I feel is lust. Want. Like I can't stand to _not_ touch him."

"That's odd."

I clasped my hands. "Did you find them: Elena, Stefan, and Caroline?"

"Yes but he wants the bracelet-and knowing how he feels for Elena, I don't think you should go. Stefan goes off the rails…"

But they could help us, and there are things I need to know if I am going to fight Damon. "I can't outright fight him anymore, Julian. It's a need…_please_-I don't want to be this person. Worse, what if he wants me to be like him? What if I die?"

"Learn control, and then pick who and what you are. What is your purpose? He told you…maybe he wants you to the same way?" Julian offered me a fake smile that didn't do his features justice. He'd seen the days of Silas before all of this, when Bonnie had made her choice to break free of _Expression_. I was asking to break free of someone who I let tower over me…not knowing why I loved it. I loved violence, maybe just a bit too much.

"Am I even the same? Is it already too late?" My mind wandered to Khali and how he'd died. It went over the callous things I'd been dealt in school, the way I'd been seduced. It seemed so calculated and I wanted to hurt someone. "I want to …_hurt_ people."

"What are you thinking," Julian asked me putting his hands over mine.

I smiled looking down at the kind of simplicity I missed in my life. 'This." I shook our hands together. "All I want is something normal like this. I almost wish I was blind again. No more hurt and pain, no more people dying, no running, no wanting devious things or artifact. I knew I was weird before, but this takes the cake."

"You love cake." A small hidden smile, "Follow the cake."

I do, I thought, appreciating his humor. "No one messes with the cake."

He nodded at me, "yes but you're too wild for this world. What do you think it means for you? Why did the bracelet attach to you?"

"This world has gone to shit since Silas. I am nothing like what's already happened here. Who knows why that thing was on me."

"Everything has gone to shit, but it's what we do with our own hands and choices that direct the future. Sure your just one person, but if every one person did a little something…."

"We'd have more cake?" Part of me nagged that there was something about Damon that I was missing and my gut was like a hidden fortune cookie. It was right, but what was I missing? Humor was something to hide behind of course. "The world feels dark and without life. I feel so out of tune with things. Not that I ever was in tune…but you know what I mean."

This seemed to please him. "What else do you feel?"

"Like I'm missing something." Someone.

"There are no protectors. When Elena died…we'd hoped keeping her human would somehow help, but her death only made it worse. Seems like that curse actually held what little was left, together."

"The guardians have all gone." It was my turn to look at him. "What does it mean for your people?"

"Guardians?" He shrugged. "People will die trying to protect things in vain."

"Didn't they choose their own path? Like they had to or something?"

"Yes," he said sitting back as I pulled my legs up under my chin. "Well ancients did. Guardians like US protected them, and it was our choice also to do so. We have no purpose without that. Klaus tainted that when he made the hybrids. Our people don't know why we are like we are. Some say its a curse, and others a choice."

"Seems like a curse with all the pain." My stomach was a riot. "What will become of you all?"

His smile was weak and far off when he turned to look at me, "it remains to be seen."

He'd peaked my interest, "tell me about this ancient stuff."

"They protected powerful places. Tatia and Silas…well they fucked up. She met the brothers, as Elena and Kat had their own, and it tore at her. She became selfish and deceitful, more than before. She had been alone, you see. Elena fared better because she was well loved, but she still did the same thing."

"Because of what Tatia did?"

"More because that was the point the curse went into effect in her family. Kat and Elena are doomed to feel the same torn feeling. Anyway when Tatia realized she'd given the power of her blood over to Esther's children, she went mad. She sought to seduce another to had access to a witch who could offer her even greater life. But the witch did nt like her. So she seduced Silas to trick the witch."

"A Bennett I bet."

"Yes. and he got _his_ immortality. But he too was cursed, for misleading her. He wanted to make Tatia Immortal …her turning that family into vampires stole her essence but bound her likeness and cursed her children's children. Esther was smart in how she worded it."

"But sad for Kat and Elena." I nodded. "Why would she do that? I mean Damon hardly talks about Elena…but she did the same thing. Is it so literal-their curse?"

He grabbed my hand and moved me forward. "Making vampires really fucked up the flow of things. Like Bonnie taught us…it has consequences. Souls are so lost now…every life a vampire takes, changes, or turns….it just gets worse perpetuating the problem. We were once the protectors…we protected Tatia from our earliest stories. And those before her."

This resonated with me a little too well. "Wolves?"

"Yes," he said patting my hand like a small child. "Guardians."

"What happened?"

"Her essence made them, it passed down to all her children's female children every five hundred years…it was our duty to protect her from those that would harm or mislead her."

"What are you saying?" I sat forward a bit uneasy. "Is there another?"

"No, _they_ all died. We think we've survived this long because Elena was born. She had no children…and our numbers are on the decline since she turned. Nature no longer needs us. You see we change at will now and are not forced to endure the turn on a full moon."

"Thought it was because of Bonnie." I almost didn't want to know. I went back to my situation with Damon since he looked so forlorn. "So about this bond thing?"

"I've looked into every variable explanation I could." He relaxed tense shoulders and took the change of topic once more. "If he is staying away from you-that is amazing in of itself."

"Why?" I dared him to say something, my tone dropped an octave.

"My guess is that he _needs_ you."

"Lovely." I slapped my legs and stood. A long drawn out sigh escaped me. "Why does he need _me_?"

"You said when you saw him for the first time…"

Now my voice rose with the rage I felt. "Yes, _saw_. But I had been living with the fucker for months."

"You melded with the animal he calls?"

Shit. "I could hear it." I was mumbling like an errant child.

"There is _no_ human bond with vampires. You haven't turned…"

Everything inside me shook with the reality of what he was saying to me. "Say it."

Julian's golden eyes were sad, and I think I felt part of my heart start to break. "There is only one other bond I can think of."

I closed my eyes as if this was it, there was no turning back. The sex had bound us then."So its not by blood or by anything else?"

"No that would be Elena he did bind-sire bond. Has he gone back to her, does he seem to ache for her?"

"He's too hard to read. I don't suspect he'd let me see if he really did."

"They are sired, but he belongs with you."

He tossed a file down on the coffee table cutting me off. I looked at him and he turned his back. I studied his pose for moments, and then decided to look at what was in there. Curiosity burned its fury down my spine.

In the folder were pictures of me; different ages and different places. In there were articles of bodies, attacks, and missing people. In every spot, I could tell Damon had followed me a very long time. "So I make him more violent?"

"He's been with you since the beginning. Maybe before he remembered. Once you hit America I think he lost track." He turned then. "I think he was trying to control himself. For _you_."

I knew he'd followed a long time-but this…"he set out to seduce me. And he did. Why would he do that if-"

"He saved you when you were born and my guess is that he didn't know. We have it on camera at the motel he took you too. He cared for a new born for two months…"

Confused I looked up at him with dozens of papers in my hands. I knew this but he'd found it. "What are you saying then…exactly?"

"This is not normal vampire actions. His eyes are not silver when he is close to you." I let the papers fall and my hands fell in my lap.

I'd never noticed that. Hell…when we met on the beach I had seen blue. "They are blue. It's why I didn't suspect him."

"When you had sex they weren't either were they?" He stepped in front of me. "He'd lose his control in the moment-they all do."

"No, "I whispered ashamed. "They were blue-bright blue."

"It was his soul merging with yours." I felt tears fill my eyes and I actually looked away. "When was it?" His voice had gone gentle, maybe a little too gentle.

"Why?"

"It's important." He sat before me imploring I answer this. "Halloween."

"The day of the dead. The day you were born. Tell me, does he give you anything?"

"The day I was born?" I flipped through the camera shots and showed me the date. Go figure, I was cursed. "_Seriously_. Halloween, _Seriously_?"

"I know why John is out to kill you."

"What the fuck is it, Julian?" I was nearly losing my temper now.

But he'd have none of that until I told him one thing, "He does give you something-what is it?" Julian was filled with excitement and worry as his tone rose with urgency. "It may be the key he is subconsciously holding onto. We may save him yet."

"Why are we _saving_ him? He _hurt_ me."

"Because its the way to the answers you need and want, its the way to saving _you_." His hands were splayed out in front of him as if this were obviously.

"_How so_?" I felt offended. "First my soul merged with this...this killer; I've let him do things to me...things I _shouldn't_ want...he set out to ruin me and manipulate me. IS it my fault Elena and Kat were shits to him?"

"No," he said and moved in when I stopped him just as fast. Julian was losing that sense of serenity he offered.

This had been a bad idea. My emotions were hollering my location like a beacon on a stormy night.

I thought back to each year I'd felt those eyes, and what would be waiting for me when I woke. "A rose. A red rose each year."

"He knew a woman named Rose, she died of a wolf bite. Jeremy's son told me this story."

"What does a rose have to do with this?"

"It _does_ make sense." I tossed a pillow at him.

"What does?!"

His eyes veered over to mine. "I think he's yours, Lily. Not just a soul mate but more. And if he IS more to you, then he must be kept alive for your sake. A twin flame, he just doesn't know it. It's all he can do to come back for you."

"_Good_ work," a snarky voice spoke from the doorway. "I was wondering how long until you'd make her upset. Not even a hole half hour, Julian."

Oh shit, was my first thought.


End file.
